My experience with enfjs as well. They can be very intimidating actually! They look at you like they just see everything. I don't think it's intentional because those I've known are actually incredibly kind. Just an enfj thing.
Do many people hate the INFJ ability to read others and dig up hidden motivations?
- Thread starter Artemisia
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n my experience there are also good people who don't like to feel 'seen'. It can be tricky because an INFJ might kinda want to make them feel seen because they like them, so they have to be careful
I don't think it's actually possible to shut it off, any more than we can stop seeing what people are wearing, hear what they are saying, what their expressions are. For me, to not look is rather like suggesting we should shut our eyes when we talk to someone. What we do with what we are aware of is something else again and I agree very much with what @Kgal said. Just because someone has a strange taste in fashion doesn't mean we should comment on it but we still notice it - it's the same with how people behave. It will however colour how I respond to people below the surface.
LOL yes! You've really got what INFJ is all about .....
Far from me the intent to deny imagination to ENFJs, but it seems to me they are more generally 'realistic' than ENFPs, due to Fe. But we don't have to agree, and I suspect this is due to different understandings of the word 'realistic'.
So, how does one experience or understand the wor(l)d 'realistic'. We have different experiences, so I'm interested to explore.
I agree, but I don't think they want people to know that ...
I my experience, ENFJs are better than everyone at everything except for introspection, which is not a bad thing. Ah, they make me regret all my life choices.
Knowing how to navigate society and its expectations, define and attain concrete goals, further their career, etc.
Dominant Fe is essentially synonymous with being extremely sensitive to what those expectations are, and valuing the fulfillment of them.
ENFJs have the depths of a deep dark lake within them and an enviable social ease that gives them an ascendancy in company. Our depths are much deeper, deeper than the stars and higher than the heavens - we bow to no ENFJ because we can see what they cannot, nor they to us because they click among people in ways that we don't. We are equals in our different ways - but their life is outside and they cannot see the magic that is ours if we accept it.
Exactly like I said. If my interpretation is 'textbook', well, so be it! It's how I experience ENFJs.
Then you should probably also get rid of words like 'ENFJ', 'ENFP', etc.
You are by far not the type of character to do that. (such and yeah).
Well, I could attempt a phenomenology of the ENFJ, but I don't have time right now. I'll try later, though.
No not really, because the difference between extraversion and introversion is fundamental. The 'I' of an extravert is on the surface of their eyes, both their physical ones, and those of their consciousness - you only have to glance at them to see this. An introvert's 'I' is so obviously looking inwards while their physical eyes look outward. Our experience of the world is quite different as a result and so is the way we orient to it.
Yeah, it's not possible to shut it off, but it's possible to ignore details/decide the importance of what you perceive, to some extent at least. I think everyone who's not a savant of some sort does this automatically though, whether it's a mental image or an actual image we're looking at. Moods and vibes however, that's something I can't ignore successfully.
Yes! So incredibly warm and kind people (but still intimidating, yes). The most life changing advice I've been given, was from an ENFJ who barely knew me.
Yes it’s like seeing - we can avoid noticing to some extent. I tend to not actually look at people I’m not actually engaged with.
I had an enfj supervisor who was terrifying at first lol. Just seemed like she saw directly into you when speaking. At first she actually seemed like an introvert but that was me generalizing because she wasn't a bubbly extrovert. (We had an ENFP in the office who was into mbti and that's how we found out everyone's types. She had people taking the test.)But I worked a shift with the ENFJ supervisor once when we were short staffed and I learned A LOT from her in that one shift about people and their behaviors. She was very insightful and warm once you actually talked to her. I also had an ENFJ roommate who was a lot like that.
My brother is also an ENFJ and very similar temperament and behavior to the other 2. He's kinda reserved but has a lot of people skills. He is my go-to guy when I need insight into people and how to respond and react to certain situations.
Honestly infjs aren't initially intimidating like enfjs that I've known.
Enfjs just have this aura of gravitas about them.
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