Do I still have a chance? | INFJ Forum

Do I still have a chance?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by The Jester, Aug 20, 2009.

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  1. The Jester

    Okay, I've had this big crush on a girl for so long, and about 2 months ago I told her via a text message.
    I just did it via a text message because she was going to be at a festival and I wouldn't be able to see her for a week, and the urge to get it off my heart was so big.
    She turned me down, and a week after my text message, we met because she still wanted to see me and gave me the opportunity to talk about my feelings.

    I told her what I thought about her, and told her how strong my feelings are for her.
    She said that she was just not looking for a relationship that time, because she came out of a long one a few months before that.
    I asked her if I'd have a chance of dating her when she wouldn't be in that situation, and she said yes.

    Now I was wondering, should I ask her out again in the future, when she's ready for it, or did she just say that so she wouldn't hurt my feelings?
    When I asked her about it, she said she was honest and I believed her, but I'm always a bit paranoid.
    Did I blow my chances or do I get another try? Important: I may have burnt my bridges by saying I'd try to get over it.
    But I just can't, because I know she is the right person for me.

    I think she finds me a funny person (we had our own jokes, and at least she understood mine <.<), and she told me I wasn't like other guys she knew and I think she found me a bit intelligent. I just got this from what she told me, of course she could've been lying just to make me feel good. The intelligent and funny part were on different occassions, not after the rejection.

    So do you guys think I'd have another chance of asking her out or did she just say it to make me feel better?
    I can't get over it and still love her with my whole heart. Btw, we kept contact via text message, and I'm thinking about asking her for a drink soon.
     
  2. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Surrender all hope.
     
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  3. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I don't know. I can't tell based on what you said. If I were you, I'd just stay friends with her and maybe try again later.
     
  4. OP
    The Jester

    Pfft I know I shouldn't keep hoping, because it's really killing me. But I can't just shut my feelings off, can I?
    The thought that I cannot be with her is so painful.
     
  5. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    "We're sorry, you're request for a relationship cannot be completed at this time. Please stay friends and try again later."

    Classy.
     
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  6. sassafras

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    Sorry to say, prank, but none of us here are mind readers. We can’t even begin to tell you, with any definite certainty, what anyone is thinking or feeling. I think, however, that you shouldn’t automatically assume that she said anything of the sort to spare your feelings. There’s an equal chance that she was being honest; after all, if she really wasn’t accepting of your romantic feelings, I doubt she would have given you a chance to explain them to her when you two were face to face, or told you candidly that she would consider a date at a later time.

    Personally, I would give it a shot. It sounds like this girl is rather considerate and understanding person; you’ve really got nothing to lose.
     
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  7. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    Hey, until she says you don't have a chance keep fighting until the end. You can't give up, INFJ's don't give up. Steal a kiss if you have to, make her aware that your intentions are clear. Good luck buddy :)
     
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  8. Jess

    Jess Newbie

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    You might think she is right for you emotionally.....but she can't be right for you if she turned you down. Simple as that. Move on and find someone who is available....

    I did that when someone was giving me mixed messages...I told them it's their loss and I moved on and out of no where I found someone even better!

    If you narrow down everything you just said....ask yourself this question: Why waste your time on someone who technically doesn't give a shit? Your not going to get anywhere and you cant make someone date you...Usually when a chick says no the first time...they mean it forever.
     
  9. the

    the Si master race.
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    yes, you have a chance. however small it might be.
     
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  10. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I'm an opportunist slant. If it were me, I'd be looking for someone else while waiting.

    Its terrible, but its true.
     
  11. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    There are other women. You can find someone to shift feelings.
     
  12. OP
    The Jester

    I know, but I'm actually not interested in any other :/
    She's all I want, and I know you'll say that it's normal to think that when you have a crush on someone, but my feelings for her are just so strong.
    And I'd find myself selfish if I just searched for someone so I could forget about her, while the other person has feelings too. (I know I took it to an extreme)
     
  13. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    Hmm I would try it again, then if it goes wrong or if she requires more time, put the ball in her court and move on! plenty more fish in the sea!

    But get closure! yes or no? and If she wants more time have it that she comes to you when shes ready and move on in the mean time!
     
  14. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Even if she does like you, she'll bounce you around a bit because they can.
     
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  15. OP
    The Jester

    Do you mean she'll play with my feelings because she thinks I'd always be there for her?
     
  16. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Well I don't know, she might be a good person.
     
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  17. OP
    The Jester

    Okay, but I interpreted your answer as 2 things:
    1) She'll play with your feelings
    2) she'd play hard to get to see if you really want her
     
  18. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    i was waiting for your input yield!
     
  19. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    She'll play with your feelings. Probably.
     
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  20. OP
    The Jester

    Guess you're right. At the end of the meeting, she gave me a kiss on my cheek.
    Not that I find that weird, but she just didn't do that before.
    Back then I just thought she didn't take me serious.
     
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