Differentiation of Self

I think I've been pretty successful in differentiating myself. I don't know so much about others of the type; I think typically it might be easier for an N type to differentiate themselves from society than an S type would be

 

I think this stuff should be integrated within the school curriculum.

I know that doesn't answer your question Satya.

In thinking about school - the school curriculum, as I know it, is ancient. I enjoyed school and did well, but I barely remember what I spent my time learning. Schools need to have programs that address life skills, emotions, communication, coping, human rights - some psychology and sociology basics. Some kids learn the stuff at home, or even in the community. But there are many children who don't have the same opportunities to acquire the skills to succeed in life, to develop into healthy adults. It is unfortunate and fortunately, addressable.

Rather than forcing children to sit through classes on a variety of things they may not care about, they could teach what is relevant and find more creative ways to let kids learn the rest.

In terms of your question, I am working on it. I think it may be easier for INFJs or people in general who have a tendency to be reflective or have insight into the psyche, relations between people, and personal responsibility.

 

Talk about a post out of place!

:rant: - that's my school curriculum rant..

Your article reminded me of it... and I started ranting :lol:

 

You sound exactly like my mom (and that is a good thing)

 

Thanks Indigo!

 

I think I'm doing fairly well differentiating myself with those close to me.

I'm reminded about a time in drivers ed. where the teacher said something to the point of "There are accidents where noone is to blame, but there's alwayse a way the accident could have been avoided."

I think to be a passive bystander in your own life is neglegent to yourself and those around you. I think some of the traits many INFJs have like avoiding conflict can sometimes errode a sence of self in certain relationships. On the other side of the coin I find people that that are selfless to be admirable. Another feature of the INFJ is a fairly rock solid set of ideals and morals that can be very helpful in staying grounded.

I'm not too sure any of this was coherant, or fit the subject, but that's what happens when I see a lot of words, I skim and pull something out of my as..head...

 

I fail 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 most of the time... which means I am not yet an adult, only a spoiled child

 

This is a very interesting subject (you're excellent at very interesting subjects, Satya).

This really came into play after my parents died, particularly my mother. Up until then, I had always thought of myself within my family as primarily more or less my father's or mother's daughter (my mother was the unofficial matriarch of our extended family/my father's 6 stepchildren were his focus and I was separate from that family). After she died, I came to recognize that I was (and had always thought to be by my family as) separate and distinct from her within the family, and loved for myself.

Yes. These became a focal point in my life in my late 20's-early 30's, and I feel they developed very successfully.

This has never been a problem.

Neither has this.

I continue to struggle with this. I'm not good at asking for help. I'm fairly good at recognizing my needs, but sometimes I think I twist/minimize them.

Not previously an issue, but I have over the past few years somehow become absorbed into my immediate family (husband/son) in such a way that I have lost much of the sense of "myself" and who I am aside from being somebody's wife and somebody's mother.

This is a powerful thought. I think I am acutely aware of the conflict between personal dreams and ambitions and hurting anyone by pursuing them... to the point where I'm not even consciously aware of what my dreams and ambitions actually are at this point in my life.

Ditto above.

This has always be very prominent in my decision making processes.

Again, this is something that has come to bear in recent years. I've become very compartmentalized. I'm a wife. I'm a mother. To the detriment of who I am separate from these roles.

I do neither. At least I don't recognize that I do. I certainly have no clearcut heroes or victims.

Gave this up in my mid-twenties and devoted myself to being self-contained. Two years later, true love appeared accidentally in my life, though I never again reverted to expecting salvation from it.

Oh yes. Have done this.

Not grasping the meaning or applications of this one adequately.

Struggling with this one, though I'm fully conscious of its importance.

 

I'm curious what's the underlying theory that acts as the basis of these goals. I tend to agree that all these goals are worthwhile, but what are the assumptions we are making that lead to that conclusion?

Seems to me that a big underlying assumption is the importance of personal responsibility...that we are responsible for our own lives, our own dreams, and can't use or rely on others to make ourselves happy. maybe responsibility is the foundation of all self-development?

OF the community but not RULED by the community....

 

I have some trouble with a few, but only a little; mostly I can relate, except for:
6, 9 -- Sometimes I have difficulty impeding on others, or not feeling as if I own others something
10, 12 -- But I also feel as if I use people sometimes, or leave them behind...
16 -- That's my introversion speaking; I won't like living in an intensely traditional community...I kind of need to be able to do my own thing separate from society sometimes.