deep conversations | INFJ Forum

deep conversations

Morgain

Morgain

defective wisdom
Donor
Aug 20, 2009
2,720
472
0
MBTI
INFJ again
Enneagram
4w5
How often do you guys have deep meaningfull conversations with other people? And is it inough to survive or don't you need it so much?

It seems like I'm never getting any. This evening again, a friend of mine had come by my appartement to chat a little and she was talking on and on about here work, about here trip with here collegues, ... It is ok for a while but quite frankly I don't care about this social talk, it is so boring. I wanted to tell here about this personality test and what a revelation it has been to me to finely hear that I'm not abnormal, that I just have a rare personality. I have been waiting and waiting for an opening in here monologue but the only think I have been able to tell is the fact that I've taken this test and it could be interesting for her too. And then she started again about the fact that she has no internet at the moment and go on and on ...

To me a good intuive conversation is like sex, it charges me again, gives me sataisfaction. But I'm just not getting any... Were are the INFJ's when I need them :)
 
Y'know what? I would agree with you but I had the most excruciating but amazing 2 hour phone call last night! I got a text off this girl and I rang her, I won't get into what it was about but I felt energised after it- which is extremely rare! It was 1:30am when it finished, needless to say, I didn't get any sleep after that, just thinking it over in my head. There was so much that was said, so much to think about. Haven't had that in loooong time.
 
I must admit that I am lucky enough to have a few friends with whom I can talk for hours about things I personally consider meaningful. Intps mostly.
 
My goal when calling a person is to get into a deep conversation for emotional fufilment.
 
I'm realy happy for you having such a good conversation and being energized yield!!!

emotional fulfilment, that is the expression that I was looking for!

At the moment I'm feeling like an wrenched rag and at the same time I'm feeling guilty for not trying harder to give her a satisfactional conversation and for judging her because she didn't gave it to me. Try to understand that!!
 
Last edited:
I can have deep conversations with my friends, and the occasional stranger if they have the right "spark". This is rare though, and like people said it is energizing and it gets me thinking.

It is interesting in that the topic of the conversation is limited to a certain area of topics depending on my friend. Partly due to their interest in a subject, or what I feel confortable telling them.

Out of the people that come to mind (most of my closest friends), I can have the most deep conversations with my mom (an INFJ), my ESFJ friend, and my ISFP friend the easiest. My ESFP friend shuts down when I try to in most cases (because her Ni is as low as my Se is), and my ENFP friend tends to be one sided in most cases.
 
I managed to get my ESFJ friend to say he's never been in love. THAT was pretty fucking deep! I was like, "Woah..."
 
I am fortunate to have a few people in my life that I can talk to about anything. My brother, my boyfriend, and a few of my friends are all very open-minded and socially as well as self-aware people. Our conversations can go on at length--the type of conversations that make you feel like you're swimming around in eachother's brains.

But I don't crave deep conversations. Most of the time, I like to be silly and amused because I spend enough time with my own melancholy thoughts.
 
I thrive on those type of conversations but I very rarely have the opportunity to do so. I made a friend recently who can help me make hours fly by with awesome conversation, and it was incredibly refreshing!! I definitely know what you mean about craving that satisfaction.
 
I have a friend who I can't really have many conversations that I would like to have with her. Sometimes it feels like every time I open my mouth she has something negative to say about what I say. So I shut up a lot listen find ways to understand her better. She is a person who likes getting things like e-mails so I am worried about if I neglect her by not writing enough. Then again she's been spending time with her boyfriend. I have another friend who I will converse with it seems like once in a blue moon, but almost every conversation is deep and I am happy that perhaps there is less drama in that friendship than any other because I talk in length to her so seldomly but value her conversation. And my last close friend I call twice a week. ^_^ I can talk to her about anything.
 
it's very rare when i have deep conversations with other people unless they are many years older than me or when it's my boyfriend lol.
i was just never really comfortable with broaching or getting into 'deep' conversations with friends around my age :\.
 
to be honest, i rarely ever engage in deep conversation in real life mainly because i spend generous periods of time alone and also because though i'm acquainted with many people, i have few whom i can truly relate.

all too many people are disinterested in probing deeper and would much rather engage in small talk. that's fine, but i usually fall into the role of a listener as i seldom have much to say since i don't get out much in the usual sense and therefore don't have 'exciting' stories to speak of.
 
Deep conversations are great, but I have this uncanny ability attract them like patio food attracts wasps.

Any time I go to a more laid-back party, I almost always run into someone who I end up having a three or four hour conversation with about the universe, their lives, and everything in between. More often than not, though, it always comes down to relationships, and it always ends with "Wow, it's really rare for me to have a conversation like this with anyone. What was your name again?"

For this reason, my entire cellphone contact list is a collection of people's phone numbers I've politely taken down in exchange for mine, but (with a few exceptions) never actually heard from them again.

That's why I find small talk such a difficult concept to wrap my head around, and I get all awkward. I'm used to connecting instantly.
 
I have them all the time. I need them too. But there are few people I can have these deep conversations with. My sister and a good friend of mine.
 
I like the sound of "mark twain" in the distance, slowly approaching in the foggy dusk as the small light starts to appear from the milky evening's disturbed silence. To fathom the depths of the ocean's floor while traveling amongst its depths is a place many exist, though few people there be to share thoughts with there. I have noticed even the creatures that exist miles deep have distinct differences from those near the water's surface. There is comfort in numbers, but to explore is almost divine.
 
Interesting...

I love deep conversations but rarely have them. I find it extremely difficult to open up to someone unless I know them really well, I'm in the right mood, and many other factors are in sync.
 
I feel very lucky to have a few good friends that I can talk about anything with. Curious however, as when we were younger I was usually the one sitting on the sidelines listening to both sides, but the link between my brain and mouth only started working about a year ago :m035:
 
I don't know.

I don't like when people 'force' meaningful conversations and make out everything to be meaningful when obviously picking up a quarter on the street isn't that meaningful that you have to go on and on about the connected events and things that I generally view as paranoia.

I consider 'good' conversations rare, conversations that don't delve in the depths of things I consider petty, like drugs, sex, or perhaps illegal movie pirating. Normally, when someone doesn't mention those few things, I'll consider it a good conversation. Of course there is always the difference in intellegence among my peers and I, I find that the most interesting conversations I'll ever have is with 40 year olds. Honestly.
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
Deep conversations are great, but I have this uncanny ability attract them like patio food attracts wasps.

Any time I go to a more laid-back party, I almost always run into someone who I end up having a three or four hour conversation with about the universe, their lives, and everything in between. More often than not, though, it always comes down to relationships, and it always ends with "Wow, it's really rare for me to have a conversation like this with anyone. What was your name again?"

For this reason, my entire cellphone contact list is a collection of people's phone numbers I've politely taken down in exchange for mine, but (with a few exceptions) never actually heard from them again.

That's why I find small talk such a difficult concept to wrap my head around, and I get all awkward. I'm used to connecting instantly.
Click to expand...
This all the way. I probably have more contacts in my phone that I've never heard from for this very reason. People I've never met before like to tell me their life stories.

I almost never have deep conversations with my friends however, unless there's something trying happening in their lives. I never talk about my own problems with other people though, at least not in real life. I'll get deep about anything but myself.
 
m funk said:
People I've never met before like to tell me their life stories.
Click to expand...

This goes double for me. I never have that problem with people exchanging phone numbers with me. Besides, if they do give me their number, and I know I will never speak/see them again, I will simply remove it from my phone.

I don't have deep conversations with people who I just met because more often then not I can tell they wouldn't understand and or respect what I have to say, so I never push it. If they push it, I will honor it though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back