Dealing with workplace gossip -- as a manager? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Dealing with workplace gossip -- as a manager?

Based on the situation I am not sure what you can do without pissing off the ones who are gossiping and, as a result, becoming a bad guy. Being in charge usually means that you're automatically the bad guy for most immature people.

I don't know what advice to give because here in the U.S. we could call someone out for unprofessional behavior and guilt them into keeping it out of the workplace. I don't know if talking to relatives about professionalism will necessarily help. The only thing I can think of is that you can tell them that, if they do not have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all.

Maybe we should talk about this later?
 
It is a misnomer that people HAVE to be LIKE each other in the workplace. Don't get me wrong, it helps, but it isn't a requirement.

Management's job is to address stuff that hinders the work. Stopping gossip is almost impossible since, people like to gossip.

If you want to lead by example, when someone starts in on someone else you say "I don't want to hear it. We are here to work, not talk about each other." Repeat as necessary. Then when they talk about another worker, assign them some type of unpleasant task to keep them busy since they have too much time on their hands. Have them clean baseboards or rearrange a display or dust or do something. That way they start to associate gossiping with a verbal "that is wrong" from you and being given shitty jobs to do.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Its about boundaries and consequences for those who cross them.

1. You need to articulate clear, easily assessable boundaries of workplace conversation - so that any transgressions can be clearly and unambiguously identified.
2. You need to flood the workplace periodically (once a year) with both visual and personal reminders of the boundaries and the consequence of crossing those boundaries.
3. You need to be able to punish transgressors. The punishment cannot be anything, but what every single employee will perceive as truly undesirable. Some people don't mind being criticised, reviewed, etc. In civilian employment the only effective punishments are threats to income, or job security. (ie. suspension of employment, pending review; or termination).
4. If gossip is seriously impeding the operations, you must fire at least one person, so that the other workers understand how serious productivity is; and how the crossing of boundaries will not be tolerated.
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I think these are excellent suggestions and this is probably what I would do. It is very difficult to control workplace gossip and I think it is probably just the natural way of most work places. Unfortunately, people often bond with each other through gossiping and it is often the only way some people know how to bond with others.
 
Honey said:
I think these are excellent suggestions and this is probably what I would do. It is very difficult to control workplace gossip and I think it is probably just the natural way of most work places. Unfortunately, people often bond with each other through gossiping and it is often the only way some people know how to bond with others.
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Stormy1 said:
It is a misnomer that people HAVE to be LIKE each other in the workplace. Don't get me wrong, it helps, but it isn't a requirement.

Management's job is to address stuff that hinders the work. Stopping gossip is almost impossible since, people like to gossip.
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On one hand, just because something happens does it mean I should shut up?
On the other hand, that is -indeed-, human nature. D: can I stop gossiping as if it's something they do and not something they feel? At best I feel I can only influence them not to gossip.
So the problem is connected between the workers; and there is a morale damage between the workers; there is a performance damage to the upper tables, there is a characteristic damage, as a human being. Threefold!
One is connected, but does not mean the other and solving one does not solve the other and..
....
...everyone else doesn't see it that way, including the whistleblower.
So.
If you want to lead by example, when someone starts in on someone else you say "I don't want to hear it. We are here to work, not talk about each other." Repeat as necessary. Then when they talk about another worker, assign them some type of unpleasant task to keep them busy since they have too much time on their hands. Have them clean baseboards or rearrange a display or dust or do something. That way they start to associate gossiping with a verbal "that is wrong" from you and being given shitty jobs to do.
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*nods*

Dragon said:
Based on the situation I am not sure what you can do without pissing off the ones who are gossiping and, as a result, becoming a bad guy. Being in charge usually means that you're automatically the bad guy for most immature people.
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True. Well I don't think they are immature per se, but I feel like they are covering something with Fe mask; a mask of benevolence and propriety;
It helps that I also put a respectful, cold distance towards them.

I don't know what advice to give because here in the U.S. we could call someone out for unprofessional behavior and guilt them into keeping it out of the workplace. I don't know if talking to relatives about professionalism will necessarily help. The only thing I can think of is that you can tell them that, if they do not have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all.

Maybe we should talk about this later?
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OH.
SHIT.
Another thing; all of us live in the same house. So there is no such thing as 'outside the workplace'

And I'd....love to but on the other hand I also feel a mindblock

between the worker's issue now there's also the issue of upper management's wants and orders.
Vict said:
It's a different problem when there isn't enough work and people are being paid to lounge around.
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I guess that also happens.
Do you have any solutions?
 
I talked with the whistleblower, telling her at the very least, yes, I listened and we're trying to look at it.
I do say that for the character changes, we as the management probably cannot do much to prevent or undo it. And for that matter, her as the cousin.


I still lacked skills on how to end the talk because at some point I think the talk gets prolonged than it should and the worker keeps asserting her perspective and I keep responding and the case gets murkier and murkier.

.....faced with Fe; SiFe. It's a case of numerous roundabouts and 'but but but there's more'. There's a feeling of confusion. On one hand, I should be open towards their complaints.
On the other hand, what is the limit between listening and participating? /Fe question

If I listened to the report too much, and if I did something according to that information.............. Am I not gossiping and worse, acting with my power under that gossip's influence?
At this point, I have nothing but an altered perspective.

What should I do?
 
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By the way, everyone, thank you so much for the immediate and thorough responses. I'm learning a lot about this; and even though it still has zero practical knowledge, it's a new experience :D
My head is a bit clearer (at least I know what I want for this matter; clarity). It shall be seen if the initial fallout ends now, but vigilance shall be put.

I apologize if any of my responses are offending, bad, or otherwise dismissing in any way; it is not my intention in any way to offend and I should have known better.

Further responses are still appreciated, though; and I may put updates if necessary / there is any.
 
Well, well.

A worker quit, apparently, so now we're down to 4.

And my sister planned to fire the ENFJ (considered to be the head of the gossips, and I do admit that she's very competent -and- she plays the Fe politics. I can see, albeit not understand, my sister's distaste over her ways of doing things)
Separating the issue to me and the issue to the workers....

Her argument is that letting the ENFJ worker stay longer would mean:
a) the worker's wielding power over the rest of the workers
b) the rest of the workers will have their characters changed (this, I personally feel to be my sister's Fe inferior playing.)
c) We (aside from my sister, according to her own word) are relying on the worker, and letting the worker go would mean we can learn again from the beginning.

It's quite a peculiar way of thinking. I can see where she is going, but I do not know if this is good for now.
I'm sure this is messy, though.

Dissecting.
 
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It sounds like a complicated situation. It can be very difficult working with family, sometimes work and family dont mix that well, too many spheres of influence and history i guess. But anyway you already know that.

One of my friends had a particularly vicious case of gossip at her workplace. They ended up implementing this 'direct communication' rule. Basically, this meant that employees were supposed to address their concerns directly with the person in question or the manager, rather than talking to anyone else about it. I havent spoken to my friend about it recently but i think that it worked well. I thought it was a good idea at the time. I dont think they 'punished' people for gossiping, i think it was more like if someone was caught gossiping then the manager would arrange to speak to that person directly about the issue.

The thing with gossip is that it just exasperates any existing problems and nothing gets solved. If people really have a problem with each other, than they should talk to each other about it. Honestly and directly. Ofcourse this can only happen in a comfortable environment where honesty and willingness to communicate is encouraged. This way the other party know what the problem is and can correct any obvious misunderstandings. Communication and honesty is always the first step. Perhaps theres a chance that the problem can actually be resolved. And if it cant be resolved that i guess one of the parties may have to leave if they are unwilling to put away their differences and just get on with what needs to be done. That makes more sense than bitching and carrying on to other people, getting other people involved and creating a negative atmosphere. When people choose to gossip rather than discuss their real issues it all ends up like chinese whispers- no one even remembers or even understands whats going on anymore. It just breeds negativity, suspicion and distrust- a very unproductive and uncomfortable environment for everyone.
 
Trifoilum,
I read over many of the responses you have received and I do say, much of it was good advice. One of the most important aspects of management is being dynamic and approaching each situation differently because it is indeed a different situation each time when you are dealing with other people. You will always have those who gossip. That will never go away. The only thing you can do is change how you, as a manager, responds to that gossip. That is key. Do not treat all gossip as if they are all equal. I would come down harshly on the most damaging types of gossip, the ones that could lead to the defamation of a persons's character. Those are the types that should called out on. First, verbally warn the aggressor and notify the aggressor of the consequences of another transgression. Most importantly, be willing to take the appropriate action if it is continued. This will serve as an example to those who may be guilty by association.

Also, if someone comes to you because that person thinks someone is gossiping about them, do an inquiry to get the facts and be fair to both sides, but do not get emotionally involved. Both the managers that do not inquire further(ignoring) or that get emotinally involved will only exasperate the problems they are facing.

It may be useful, since gossiping is a problem at your work place, to make a scale for you own use(do not show employees) that shows the degree of gossip with type of punishment. The lowest on the scale can be ignored and thus no punishment would be necessary, the middle gets attention, but nothing too harsh for punishment, and the highest on the scale is a sure-fire way to lose one's job. Again, not all gossip is bad, and you cannot eliminate all gossip. Just do the best you can. It seems to me that you're on your way to becoming a good manager because, first, you care and second, are looking for ways to resolve conflicts to better improve your work environment. I wish you the best.
 
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muir said:
Notice how stalin has his hand hidden in his top. This is symbolic to show people that he is a member of hidden hand secret societies
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It's natural when trying to look authorative.
 
muir said:
No it means something
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Everything means something. However it doesn't mean what you think it does.

Next you'll be saying Nelson did this...
 
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88chaz88 said:
I won't.
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Lol

won't because you're not interested in learning something new or won't because you're not interested in the subject matter?

Whether your interested or not the fact remains that there are groups influencing things behind the scenes and they often show their presence by symbols or signs or hand grips
 
muir said:
Lol

won't because you're not interested in learning something new or won't because you're not interested in the subject matter?

Whether your interested or not the fact remains that there are groups influencing things behind the scenes and they often show their presence by symbols or signs or hand grips
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The third one.
 
88chaz88 said:
The third one.
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Yeah that's what i thought but was too polite to say!

We often build our own barriers to consciousness expansion because to overcome those barriers requires defeating a terrible foe
 
muir said:
Yeah that's what i thought but was too polite to say!

We often build our own barriers to consciousness expansion because to overcome those barriers requires defeating a terrible foe
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Or we'd rather get on with our lives than get obsessed with stupid theories so much we feel the need to derail every single thread with bullshit.
 
88chaz88 said:
Or we'd rather get on with our lives than get obsessed with stupid theories so much we feel the need to derail every single thread with bullshit.
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'we'? Chas is more than one person?

Why don't you go back in the thread and you'll see it was you that derailed it with a comment about Stalin?

Your barrier is your pride. You would rather insult me than recognise that you were wrong
 
88chaz88 said:
Have some people removed from the company photos. Stalin style.
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I'll save you the trouble of looking back....here's your derailing post

Before this i had contributed to this thread seriously and productively, which is more than you had
 
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