Dealing with workplace gossip -- as a manager?

[Trifoilum]

How do you deal with workplace gossip of the workers et al-- when you are part of the upper management?

It happens in my workplace and I'm confused. One of my workers just talked to me about the existence of it -- Cannot say I'm surprised.
It's happening secretly behind my back and one (or two, I guess) of my workers are somewhat alienated.

From observation, having an outsider (and part of the upper management, no less, even though it's mostly a de jure thingie) scold them won't stop the gossiping from happening-- it may even exacerbate them. But on the other hand, ignoring them means alienating the workers further. It have -not- affected their work performance up until now (they have been very nice whenever I am around. Fe. /pfft) but I cannot say about the future.

I know how work relationship can affect your performance and also from a non-workplace, human standpoint how annoying and/or problematic it is for those two workers of mine (worse that they are cousins barring one), but what should I do?

 

[Apone]

You could try a general message that says something along the lines of 'gossip will not be tolerated'... you don't necessarily have to confront the people involved directly. Maybe you could say something like 'anyone who is caught gossiping will be subject to sensitivity training' or something... managers sometimes do this for harassment, and then maybe you could say something about it going down on their employee record, which will in turn affect the kind of reference they will be given if they ever find themselves out of work or want to get a promotion.

Iit's definitely something that you should be trying to stay above, and not sink into. A 3 strikes/warnings policy seems fair to me. I don't know if you're in charge of the meetings or whatever... maybe you could just put up a sign on the messageboard or something.

 

[Trifoilum]

You could try a general message that says something along the lines of 'gossip will not be tolerated'... you don't necessarily have to confront the people involved directly. Maybe you could say something like 'anyone who is caught gossiping will be subject to sensitivity training' or something... managers sometimes do this for harassment, and then maybe you could say something about it going down on their employee record, which will in turn affect the kind of reference they will be given if they ever find themselves out of work or want to get a promotion.

Iit's definitely something that you should be trying to stay above, and not sink into. A 3 strikes/warnings policy seems fair to me. I don't know if you're in charge of the meetings or whatever... maybe you could just put up a sign on the messageboard or something.

Hmm.....

As a clarification, I work in a (family, hence the de jure) retail shop; I seem to think my current job description is best described as manager rather than owner, whence the title.

Due to the smaller size, so far we never have any meetings (They...or me...so far don't ever have one. >_<, gyah). Nor do the workplace have any message boards. I don't see the importance up until now, but now that I think about it..
And sadly, We don't give references here in my country or have any employee record here; at least for the workers (considered blue-collar workers). I don't know if there will be any promotions either... although there probably will be salary rises (I'm not in the charge of this), so I can use that as a stake, but.

Personally, what my mind is screaming is augh changes changes changes, these are all changes in 'hard Fe' and to do that is augh changes changes changes

Second thing is that yes, in front of me, they were all doing fine. With only a total of around five workers (at least those who are involved in this), I think I cannot talk about them about this without implying someone had told me about this matter..which may lead to further alienation for my workers. This may also include any noticeable changes in my approach, meaning that if I suddenly ask a lot of things, it may have raised suspicion. But I may have a bias against doing it, see above.

I can see how the mess started, really; but at this point I doubt that meant anything other than lessons.

And talking to the upper management leads to me being scolded for not setting a good example. >_> <_<

 

[Apone]

Wow, it's really quite completely different.

Well, I do think that a meeting would be a good idea, even if you haven't done it before. In general the best way to go about it is to come up with a list of positives and then bring up the negatives. It doesn't matter if the positives are bullshit, the point is that people like to hear that kind of thing and it helps them not hate you. Ask for their input some suggestions on how to make things better-- this will help them feel valued and like part of a team. THEN talk about 'workplace relations'.

I honestly don't know... just being authoritarian is probably the quickest solution but if you're close/can't be scary then you have to get creative.

 

[Soulful]

Mhmm gossip is difficult and unnecessary, especially in a small circle where finger-pointing can happen as fast as it takes to strike a match.

I'm a little confused so I'd like to clarify a few things:
a) You are part of upper management
b) There are only 5 non-managerial staff on board
c) The gossip is about 1-2 of the 5 non-managerial staff about the other 3-4 non-managerial staff?

Is it possible this gossip took place when a customer was around, or would it have been possible for you to overhear a conversation take place? Perhaps this could be an angle through which to raise this. Ex. A customer heard gossiping taking place, it reflects poorly on us as a non-professional workspace, yada yada. Or perhaps that you had overheard it. Is it at all likely that one of the 5 workers would have gossiped to you not as a complaint but as gossiping "with" you? Are you close enough to these 5 workers for that to happen? Would they believe you if you told them that?

 

[Trifoilum]

Random thoughts before responding:

I probably can change how people work. How people act in the workplace.
But can I change people's act and their behavior and what built those behavior?
Influencing?

And GOD DAMN IT MY BRAIN KEEPS FINDING BUT REASONS TO NOT DO IT AND SIT BACK INSTEAD. I shall not naysay and instead think of how I can approach this

 

[Trifoilum]

Wow, it's really quite completely different.

Well, I do think that a meeting would be a good idea, even if you haven't done it before. In general the best way to go about it is to come up with a list of positives and then bring up the negatives. It doesn't matter if the positives are bullshit, the point is that people like to hear that kind of thing and it helps them not hate you. Ask for their input some suggestions on how to make things better-- this will help them feel valued and like part of a team. THEN talk about 'workplace relations'.

Yes, it's quite different. Also in here there is a lot of indirect, de facto, 'subtle' unstated power spread rather than mere positions.

That sounds like a good idea, if a bit roundabout. But I guess in this cases I cannot be direct and cut-short. Be thorough.

I honestly don't know... just being authoritarian is probably the quickest solution but if you're close/can't be scary then you have to get creative.

Yeah, I can be authoritarian but aside that I -cannot- be scary (although it will be obvious still), I think it won't do any good; as the above thoughts indicate.

Mhmm gossip is difficult and unnecessary, especially in a small circle where finger-pointing can happen as fast as it takes to strike a match.

I'm a little confused so I'd like to clarify a few things:
a) You are part of upper management
b) There are only 5 non-managerial staff on board
c) The gossip is about 1-2 of the 5 non-managerial staff about the other 3-4 non-managerial staff?

Yes. Well, if you count my opinion, I think I'm part of, if not becoming the only middle management; I supervise only the work ongoings and mostly no further. But the way the other people think; I am part of the upper management and expected to be so.

Is it possible this gossip took place when a customer was around, or would it have been possible for you to overhear a conversation take place? Perhaps this could be an angle through which to raise this. Ex. A customer heard gossiping taking place, it reflects poorly on us as a non-professional workspace, yada yada.

It hasn't been so far. I can overhear a conversation; so far they have done a good job on covering it and I admittedly have done a good job on not listening to it.

Or perhaps that you had overheard it. Is it at all likely that one of the 5 workers would have gossiped to you not as a complaint but as gossiping "with" you? Are you close enough to these 5 workers for that to happen? Would they believe you if you told them that?

Not likely, for the time being. I'm mostly keeping a cordial yet detached politeness with them; in that sense I'm bad that I don't keep them in check.
Also that one of the problem is one of the workers being gossiped is seen as receiving preferential treatments from my sister (who has more de facto power than anyone else in the store, barring my father)

I'm thinking of beginning to talk to them; maybe asking about how work has been so far, whether they are comfortable / they have issues they want to talk about, trying to see what can I uncover from them; but:
a) will they realize I'm 'coming towards them'?
b) how to begin how to begin how to begin aieeeee
c) .....honestly, some part of me wants to avoid the hassle, avoiding listening to the complaints they might have. But not listening does not make the problems and complaints disappear, and clearly I still care enough to be disturbed by it and to find a way to solve this problem via making this thread; not to mention learning on how to be a fair and communicative owner is part of what I'm trying to learn. So having that sort of ugly thought really is bad of me.

 

[barbad0s]

What kind of complaints are they having? If they are practical issues (e.g. worker A thinks worker B delegates too much to others) then this is something you can easily encourage employees to improve on and try to have them cool down about.

If it's beginning to be a serious problem or it's personal maybe you could find time to strategically schedule certain people to not work together for the time being?

Maybe hint that you would be open to them coming to you and talking about it. If it's a lot of gossip going on then there's no use in pretending that you are unaware of it. You don't have to divulge any specifics, just show your workers that you are concerned for how they've been doing lately and they might open up to you. This would probably depend on what your relationship with them is already like.

Above all else, if nothing works and you notice that it begins to affect their work, remind them to stay professional on the job or if you get through to one person get them to remind everyone else that they must, otherwise there will be consequences. This shouldn't really be something you should be responsible for resolving, so I hope you don't feel that way or feel uncomfortable about it. Perhaps it will just be a phase and will blow over on its own.

 

[Apone]

If you're really not sure, there's always the old 'the upper management wanted me to get you together and go over some things'… if you feel uncomfortable lying, just mention to your bosses that you'd like to get the employees together for a meeting about work relations or something-- they'll probably say yes... and then when you talk to your employees you can act like it was completely their idea. People are more willing to listen to orders when they're coming down from above… and it never hurts to borrow authority from people who have more than you do.

The 'positives first, negatives second' thing isn't my idea-- it's pretty standard for a lot of places. You should be able to come up with some examples of positive things about your workplace.. be enthusiastic about these positives.

I don't think that singling anyone out ever makes them feel good, they always suspect that it's about something and that they're in 'trouble', which could just make them worse. Better to do it as a group… you could even give them a little homework assignment and tell them to each come in with one suggestion on how to make the workplace better, or maybe observations or questions or something like that. If you have a lot of time (you probably won't), you could look up some team-building exercises online-- so if they're being lame about it all and not trying, you can give them something to do-- and some of them are actually pretty fun.

Again, be sure to pin it all on the people above you… they'll be less likely to challenge you on it if they think it's out of your hands, and it helps them relate to you better if you're in the same position that they are.

 

[Lerxst]

Don't look at me! I was a "look but don't touch" type of supervisor (if you can even call it that) too and got fired due to alienating workplace conspiracies!

 

[Trifoilum]

What kind of complaints are they having? If they are practical issues (e.g. worker A thinks worker B delegates too much to others) then this is something you can easily encourage employees to improve on and try to have them cool down about.

twofold: practical and socio-behavioral.
The practical ones are....
One is performance issue. (From my worker's words, it appears that at least three (if not four, including the one being alienated) workers have been...mm.. deteriorating in their work performance. I'm trying to observe it in the future)
Two is preference issue. (Other 3 workers considered my sister gave preference for the currently alienated worker. Or at least used it as reason for alienating her. I highly suspect the one leading the workers is an ENFJ-- highly competent, socially savvy, but also-- a player in the game of social politics, propriety and etiquette.)

The other side is the implied socio-behavioral problem;
a decrease in work ethics,
a (currently discreet, but for how long?) disruption in work harmony
it hints of an unhealthy work culture
and lowered morale especially for the one being alienated and the whistleblower who's also the one who brought three of them from her hometown to work here (so I guess there's an extra responsibility of some sort as well)

If it's beginning to be a serious problem or it's personal maybe you could find time to strategically schedule certain people to not work together for the time being?

It may be possible. I personally am fine with doing it but I dunno with the others; given that all of them are full-time workers and they came (and are paid to come) everyday.

Maybe hint that you would be open to them coming to you and talking about it.

How?

If it's a lot of gossip going on then there's no use in pretending that you are unaware of it. You don't have to divulge any specifics, just show your workers that you are concerned for how they've been doing lately and they might open up to you. This would probably depend on what your relationship with them is already like.

Hmmmm... *nodsnods*

Above all else, if nothing works and you notice that it begins to affect their work, remind them to stay professional on the job or if you get through to one person get them to remind everyone else that they must, otherwise there will be consequences. This shouldn't really be something you should be responsible for resolving, so I hope you don't feel that way or feel uncomfortable about it. Perhaps it will just be a phase and will blow over on its own.

I hope so. Although-- Oh god I hope my sister don't swing the guillotine too soon.

 

[Trifoilum]

If you're really not sure, there's always the old 'the upper management wanted me to get you together and go over some things'… if you feel uncomfortable lying, just mention to your bosses that you'd like to get the employees together for a meeting about work relations or something-- they'll probably say yes... and then when you talk to your employees you can act like it was completely their idea. People are more willing to listen to orders when they're coming down from above… and it never hurts to borrow authority from people who have more than you do.

*nods* that's also possible.

The 'positives first, negatives second' thing isn't my idea-- it's pretty standard for a lot of places. You should be able to come up with some examples of positive things about your workplace.. be enthusiastic about these positives.

Yeah, it's something I'd read a lot.
Oh, about the workplace itself, I sincerely doubt it; but I still have positive things about the workers themselves.

I don't think that singling anyone out ever makes them feel good, they always suspect that it's about something and that they're in 'trouble', which could just make them worse.

Oh. Shit. Right. >_< AUGH

Better to do it as a group… you could even give them a little homework assignment and tell them to each come in with one suggestion on how to make the workplace better, or maybe observations or questions or something like that.

...I honestly doubt they will answer. But making it less formal may work. *nodsnods*

If you have a lot of time (you probably won't), you could look up some team-building exercises online-- so if they're being lame about it all and not trying, you can give them something to do-- and some of them are actually pretty fun.

At this point, won't it be too late?

Again, be sure to pin it all on the people above you… they'll be less likely to challenge you on it if they think it's out of your hands, and it helps them relate to you better if you're in the same position that they are.

Interesting.

Don't look at me! I was a "look but don't touch" type of supervisor (if you can even call it that) too and got fired due to alienating workplace conspiracies!

I -am- also one of them! But what sort of workplace conspiracies.. O_O

But so is the rest of the management (an INTP and an ISTP whose solution tend to be the guillotine and ignoring it respectively)
And I haven't learned about this, so it would be a good way to start and to observe myself too.

 

[barbad0s]

So... have you and your sister discussed this yet?

 

[Trifoilum]

So... have you and your sister discussed this yet?

And talking to the upper management leads to me being scolded for not setting a good example. >_> <_<

Yep.

 

[muir]

Why do you think its happening?

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Its about boundaries and consequences for those who cross them.

1. You need to articulate clear, easily assessable boundaries of workplace conversation - so that any transgressions can be clearly and unambiguously identified.
2. You need to flood the workplace periodically (once a year) with both visual and personal reminders of the boundaries and the consequence of crossing those boundaries.
3. You need to be able to punish transgressors. The punishment cannot be anything, but what every single employee will perceive as truly undesirable. Some people don't mind being criticised, reviewed, etc. In civilian employment the only effective punishments are threats to income, or job security. (ie. suspension of employment, pending review; or termination).
4. If gossip is seriously impeding the operations, you must fire at least one person, so that the other workers understand how serious productivity is; and how the crossing of boundaries will not be tolerated.

 

[muir]

Its about boundaries and consequences for those who cross them.

1. You need to articulate clear, easily assessable boundaries of workplace conversation - so that any transgressions can be clearly and unambiguously identified.
2. You need to flood the workplace periodically (once a year) with both visual and personal reminders of the boundaries and the consequence of crossing those boundaries.
3. You need to be able to punish transgressors. The punishment cannot be anything, but what every single employee will perceive as truly undesirable. Some people don't mind being criticised, reviewed, etc. In civilian employment the only effective punishments are threats to income, or job security. (ie. suspension of employment, pending review; or termination).
4. If gossip is seriously impeding the operations, you must fire at least one person, so that the other workers understand how serious productivity is; and how the crossing of boundaries will not be tolerated.

This is not why it is happening at all!

Unless of course you think that what is causing it is a lack of fear in the workplace

 

[Flavus Aquila]

This is not why it is happening at all!

Unless of course you think that what is causing it is a lack of fear in the workplace

I don't think a manager needs to get to the bottom of employee personal problems.

A manager is there to manage the work, not to manage people's personal lives. That is up to each employee. If an employee cannot work as a professional, that's something he/she needs to work on - perhaps with professional help. But unless you are running a training college, or some sort of therapy place - it would seem to be a waste of resources to expand your business to include remedial therapy.

 

[muir]

I don't think a manager needs to get to the bottom of employee personal problems.

Who said anything about getting to the bottom of people's personal problems?

A manager is there to manage the work, not to manage people's personal lives. That is up to each employee. If an employee cannot work as a professional, that's something he/she needs to work on - perhaps with professional help. But unless you are running a training college, or some sort of therapy place - it would seem to be a waste of resources to expand your business to include remedial therapy.

This is a really narrow view of human behaviour

So much of the discussion on this forum is about symptoms of problems

There is very little discussion about what the core problems themselves are

Sure its harder to face up to core problems, but its the only way to stop repeated symptoms

So really what there is is a lot of venting but no real progress

 

[Trifoilum]

Random thoughts before responding:

I feel like I've been creating some distance with my worker's humanity in this matter; the fact that they feel, do, experience things. That they have their own experience, consideration, knowledge, beliefs; some that may be (drastically) different from my own.
Is this a trap of the managements (or specifically, HRD?)? Thinking of the workers as cogs to be fixed for the sake of the machine, not humans?

It does feel safer, less confusing; smoother; but my heart screams for cruelty and carelessness.