Conflict with ENTPs | INFJ Forum

Conflict with ENTPs

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Faye, Dec 6, 2009.

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  1. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    What are some ways for an INFJ to avoid conflict with an ENTP with whom they live? What kind of conflicts might arise, and how might they be prevented?

    If you have info on this pertaining to romantic relationships (not that I have one), that would be helpful too.

    In other words, what do ENTPs hate about INFJs and how can INFJs fix it (within cool and collected reason)?
     
  2. Matariki

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    Um........

    Ok lets see,

    What do ENTP's dislike about INFJ's. Nothing really.

    Except that INFJ's can appear a bit cold towards ENTP's sometimes. But thats not something that you can really fix, thats the ENTP's problem due to lack of understanding.

    What does an ENTP like in a romantic relationship? I'm not envolved in a romantic relationship myself, I never have been. Thats because I haven't found the right person yet.

    As 'T's' we tend to love with our heads first rather than our hearts. That means we analyze the person first before engaging in a relationship. Trust me, this dosn't mean we don't love them or have affection towards them, in fact its the opposite. We don't want to hurt anyone so we quickly rule out if they will be ideal for us or not.

    But as an ENTP female I'll tell you what we like;


    • Someone who is gentle and caring.
    • Someone who listens and understands.
    • Someone that is supportive.
    • Someone that is hard working, we admire this, we find it border line sexy. :mhula:
    • Someone that is loyal.
    • Someone who is willing to engage in discussion, mind you being ENTP's we like to have long discussions that branch out onto other topics. Our conversations can be long from time to time depending on what we want to talk about, usually its about theories, ideas and future plans.

    • Someone who can give a good debate from time to time. This challenges us to think and we like that. It helps us grow and develop.
    • Someone who willing to clean up the house, of couse we will help but we need that 'J' to remind us from time to time about things such as cleaning and hygiene, we often get lost in thought or distracted to worry about such things.
    Now I'll tell you things that we don't like;

    • Liars.
    • Lazy people.
    • Close mindedness.
    • Loud, noisy, disruptive people, this puts us off our thinking.
    • Lack of understanding and sensitivity.
    • Non supportive, lack of faith, as ENTP's this can crush us.
    • Betrayal in a relationship, this does not go by lightly with us.
    • People that overreact.
    • Hypocrites, I suppose that goes under liars.
    • Annoying factual people.
    • Being wrong, of course this happens to us allot.
    As ENTP's if we get envolved in a relationship we become very loyal and we try our best to serve our partner. We strive for a life long relationship. We want to make our partner proud and we are willing to sacrifice most things within reason for our partner.

    I can imagine an ENTP/INFJ relationship working very well, for me it would be ideal.
     
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    #2 Matariki, Dec 6, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
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  3. OP
    Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Thank you for responding. For me, a relationship with an ENTP would be ideal.

    I have a question. What do you mean about "annoying factual people"?
     
  4. Matariki

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    Ah yes,

    People who use facts to bum out other people.
     
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  5. ENTroP

    ENTroP Community Member

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    Also, be patient with ENTP. ENTPs are not always as organized as we would like to be, and sometimes have difficulty with day to day mundane things such as finding our keys LOL

    If there is one thing that you will likely not like about an ENTP in a relationship, it is our slight obliviousness to the world around us. Don't worry though, with the proper coaxing and patience, this will not be too horrible.

    ENTPs love praise, too. It is energizing and makes us feel very good. Praise ENTP often (but not too often or we get used to it lol).

    Hope that helps :)
     
  6. OP
    Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Oh..... I've failed so far at that. I do it unintentionally.

    Well, I'm oblivious to the world around me too until I walk into something and hurt myself. I have had to pick up the slack on mundane things, but I haven't minded doing it so far really.

    Otherwise, I'm probably failing. I don't praise much and I have been a pain about them being more organized.

    The thing I have noticed though is that even though we have all this potential for conflict is that it will never happen because both of us are so easily sent down the guilt spiral that we couldn't really sustain a conflict. The thing that gets me is that we'll have arguments that are semi-serious, and I think they enjoy being fake mean whereas I have to sometimes hold myself back from taking it seriously.
     
  7. SpilledMilk

    SpilledMilk Regular Poster

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    As an ENTP male, I may differ from my female counterpart a bit, though of course not claiming representation of all ENTP males. The following are a small things about what I think is very ENTP-ish (from the perspective of an ENTP male to an INFJ female; I don't think I can get along with INFJ males at all because I'll probably consider them too effeminate).

    I'm OK with being a bit messy and my "space" will so reflect. Please don't nag or invade this space.

    I have simple material needs and don't really care for material gifts. I enjoy emotional connections deeply. Just being there and being appreciative helps a lot.

    I'm naturally flirtatious, sometimes knowingly and other times not. I might even be a little selfish and flirt just to feel a rush. That doesn't mean I don't love you any less if you're my mate. And if you're just a roommate, well, there's never "just"; I'll flirt with you too (especially if you're decent looking or more).

    I can get into "the zone" when focused on work or hobbies. Gentle and quick interruptions are OK. Anything more gets on my nerves fast.

    I like sex. A lot. Hope you can keep up. And if you're just a roommate, well, sorry, I will be having a lot of sex. Do not disturb.

    Live a little and explore. What's behind this concept? What's over that hill? What's that noise? What's fear, and how do I conquer it?

    Don't let me get away with too much. I might go off a cliff in how rude I can be and not even realize it because I'm in my "logic" zone. But please don't put your foot down too harshly either. We still take some things personally.
     
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  8. Matariki

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    Wow, this is a blast from the past. I will apologize to the OP, the description that I gave was of an INTP female (though there are some similarities between the INTP and ENTP, we have our distinct differences). ENTP's probably have higher sex drives for a starter (allot of INTP's I know are either asexual or demisexual, probably not ideal for most INFJ's), prefer in interact with large groups of people talking about their ideas and theories, and tend to take everyone along the ride with them rather than going off on their own when it comes to pursuing things such as knowledge.
     
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    #8 Matariki, May 30, 2011
    Last edited: May 30, 2011
  9. aerosol

    aerosol American trash

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    i absolutely love entps (actually, i only know of one since i started typing people so what the heck do i really know).

    but, i'll marry that or an intj.

    ps. i love how newbies tend to go through the archives and bump really old threads.
     
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  10. Lerxst

    Lerxst Well-known member

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    Assuming I'm not replying to a 2 year old post...

    As I've mentioned in the past, I can get along with nearly anyone, it's the the lesser developed personality types I have issues with. The worst conflict I've ever been involved with has been with an ENTP, later diagnosed with NPD (see this thread).

    Even today, when I hear her name or reference to a situation we were in, I feel like causing physical harm. And I have to congratulate her; she is the only person I have ever wished dead... and that point takes a whole hell of a lot abuse for me to get to.

    SO I guess the question is, are we talking about a healthy ENTP or a "psychopathic" ENTP? :)
     
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  11. oddgirlout

    oddgirlout Quirkess at your service
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    So I live with an ENTP and upon reading the OP to him this was his reply:

    ENTPs hate that INFJs think that they are so complex, so cerebral and that no one could possibly understand the depths of them. That they withhold a part of themselves because they believe that that part of them can not be understood and then whine about no one understanding them when they in fact placed themselves in that position by not explain or revealing themselves. In the end he stated that he finds INFJs, particularly in this forum, arrogant in their belief in their own complexity.

    That being said, to answer question how not to fight with an ENTP, he stated, "Get away from the ENTP. It is the air we breathe."

    Upon my reading of the OP I first thought it remarkable that you used the word "hate" and also implied that there is something broken with INFJs. I feel with anything there should always be comprise. Why would I have to fix myself to be with an ENTP or any other type for that matter?
     
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  12. Emikoniwa

    Emikoniwa Newbie

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  13. OP
    Faye

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    Well, this is old. I no longer live with ENTP I had in mind. We're still friends, but I sometimes wonder if he hated living with me. I think he might have. :(
     
  14. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    Though I don't think that this view applies to all INFJs I do think that there is some truth in this.
     
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