Coming Out Questions, I has need them! | INFJ Forum

Coming Out Questions, I has need them!

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by NaeturVindur, Oct 8, 2010.

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  1. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    So, I'm organizing a Coming Out Day forum (as in open floor discussion, not internet forum), and I need questions that a closeted person would want answered by open people, or even straight or openly queer people would want to hear. so far I have:

    What's the worst reaction you have received to coming out?

    What's the best reaction, or what would be the best way to react?

    Do you feel its an important step for a queer person to come out to family or friends, why?

    Are you treated differently after coming out to someone? Is there any particular instance where this has happened?

    How would you suggest dealing with people who don't want to accept you, or who actively harass you?



    How would you navigate coming out if you thought the person or people won't be very accepting. Would you come out at all? Would you risk a friendship on coming out?

    any ideas?
     
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  2. Kavalan

    Kavalan Has risen

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    I would ask that last question but tailored for family members specifically.
     
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  3. Saru Inc

    Saru Inc Schrödinger's Pussy
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    MONDAY!!! Totally skipping college and chilling with [MENTION=2873]SouloftheLaurel[/MENTION]

    [quote=N
     
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  4. OP
    NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    I KNEW someone would answer the questions! thats not really the idea, but whatever. I'm asking for other questions to ask.

    Also, you and [MENTION=2635]Melkor[/MENTION] inspired that one question.
     
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  5. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    I don't think I need to express my loathing for this thread.
     
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  6. Saru Inc

    Saru Inc Schrödinger's Pussy
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    yes you do.
     
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  7. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    Do I? Luckily, when it comes to expression, I excel at the negative type.

    Give me some time.
     
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  8. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I don't know if this is common, but the idea of feeling like they should come out before they're ready to? I wonder if sometimes people feel like they have to come out.
     
    #8 Soulful, Oct 8, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2010
  9. dark_angel

    dark_angel Community Member

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    I would add:

    Public affection or not and do's and don'ts of public affection.

    How do you handle coming out at the work place? (Do's and Don'ts)

    I might add some later...
     
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  10. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    Well, for one, it's silly to ask any questions concerning social identity, considering you're trying to force them into a boxed category and subculture.

    I am sick and tired of people treating sexuality like a statement that deserves a song and dance. It's a minor, largely biological fact, please get over it.
     
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  11. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    Well considering society is based on trying to understand one another, categorization is a natural by product. Nobody is ever "forced" into anything. We use generalizations in a negative way at times but largely you can predict certain behaviors and thus make assertions about groups of people. The key is to remember you are dealing with individuals and each will have their own warts and sparkles.

    As far as sexuality, many people struggle with the implications of understanding and learning how the whole process will work for them. Allowing someone to touch your spirit is very scary and thrilling and exciting and dreadfully hard to do. We speak of things to lesson our anxieties. If you keep your fears inside they become larger than they need to be. They become the scary boogey man in the dark waiting to get you. Discussion is healthy because it helps to shine a light into the darkness of our fears and thus unmasking the shadows that lurk within.
     
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  12. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    Thank you for burying me under rhetoric and not addressing the issue.

    Your J is safe at least.
     
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  13. BostonAndy

    BostonAndy Community Member

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    no you don't

    Those aren't the droids you're looking for
     
  14. Nixie

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    *Sonyab hugs her J and Te, smiling at Melkor*
     
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  15. BostonAndy

    BostonAndy Community Member

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    people need to come out so they feel more attached and intune with the world around them.

    Ok... Just as a little lab experiment.

    I want all the straight people to go to a gay bar, order a drink, and pretend just for fifteen minutes that you are gay.

    just have a conversation with someone and try to own an identity that you are not. You will feel like the interaction was not real, and you will KNOW that the person didn't get a clear picture of who you are.

    It will make you feel a bit empty and isolated, I'd imagine.
     
  16. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    I see your point BostonAndy about why it is important for gay people to come out. However I question the logic of telling a largely bunch of introverts to go out to a bar and strike up a conversation. Dang extroverts anyway!!

    As for me (straight) I wouldn't drink, wouldn't go to a bar and wouldn't give another human being the impression I was interested when I wasn't.
     
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  17. BostonAndy

    BostonAndy Community Member

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    and so if you were gay you would instictively just be out of the closet. Lying about your identity, even to strangers, makes no sense to you.

    thats commendable

    ps.. just go there and talk, not give the impression you are interested. I know that people think theres sdirty doings going on at the gay bars...hehe, but there usually is just alot of talk about baseball and lady gaga
     
    #17 BostonAndy, Oct 8, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2010
  18. OP
    NaeturVindur

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    or you can go to a gay bar wearing something like a rainbow bracelet, and let people start conversations with you.
     
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  19. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    Being gay isn't an identity. Is being straight an identity? Is a sexuality suddenly more important if it's rarer?

    It doesn't define a persons personality or outlook on life.

    Thats like saying your hair or skin colour is an identity.

    It's ridiculous. Each is his own person. Hell, join a club on the basis of your hobbies, your habits or your history, but not on your sexuality. It's not a choice, it reflects so very little of that person.

    Human grouping is disgusting.
     
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  20. Saru Inc

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    Or go in wearing a WBC shirt and let the conversations start themselves :D
     
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