College Confusion

[Switchgirl]

A very typical and common issue here.

I am currently in college, enrolled in business initially with the specialization of Accounting in mind. I still have time to select what I'd like to specialize in (first year is general), but I come to a realization that maybe Accounting isn't right for me. I can't envision myself being an Accountant for the rest of my life (yawn). With the constant pressure coming from my family telling me I need a financially secure job, I just don't know what to do. I have read that INFJs could be suited for Marketing and HR jobs, but the pressure I receive from my family just complicates things for me. They'll be disappointed if I don't take the Accounting route, and if I fail, I know I'll get the never ending "I told you so s." Sigh. I apologize, there are probably many topics already posted just like this one, but I really needed to blow off some steam.

I feel that my heart is set for jobs which are more creative and stimulating, but where I live, they seem pretty scarce.
I would love to hear from anyone who can guide the confused college student I am, and any INFJ who has taken business, or has a career they are greatly satisfied with.
Thanks for your time.

 

[Cornerstone]

You have to live for yourself. You don't have to advertise your intentions and desires but act on them when you reach critical choices.

If you feel the need to justify your choices, know about what you are choosing, not just why you're rejecting the alternative, and stand your ground.

If you've been preparing for a choice you now don't want to commit to, don't think what has gone before is wasted. It's likely to be far from accurate.

Try to be clear on what you DO want because you really can list what you don't want forever and not get very far and, without care, become bitter in the process.

Best of luck...and welcome!

 

[Tilheyra]

Having studied Economics as my secondary concentration I cannot blame you for not liking Accounting. It never made much sense to me to only look at the "bottom line." Of course, I am biased given the feud between the two fields.

On to the point. I currently work in student affairs, so I am familiar with assisting students who have similar concerns. I obviously do not know details about your general education requirements, or your university, but here are a few points to consider.

If you are still in your first semester you may want to focus your next semester on completing other credits in your general education requirements. You shouldn't be afraid to try your hand at new subjects as long as the class fulfills a requirement. This is if your program gives you the flexibility of choosing from a broad range of classes to fulfill a requirement. Taking a diverse range of classes could give you ideas of what to major in. Also, if you live in a residence hall, don't be afraid to ask your fellow residents about their majors. You could also ask your RA as he/she is an excellent resource that could provide some direction. Additionally, approach your instructors with your concerns. They may be able to point you in the direction of resources in other academic departments.

In the end, to repeat Cornerstone, you are the one that will ultimately make this choice. Do what makes you comfortable.

 

[Shaqie]

Your life is more important than your family's opinion. Stick up for you decisions and get a grip!

 

[Switchgirl]

Thank you everyone for your responses.
The situation I'm in is sort of tough. I can't just easily switch out of the program I'm in. My parents have invested in sort of funding for my school, and if I drop out of this business program, they will take away all of that funding from us. The college I am in doesn't allow me to take a vast variety of courses (Non-business subjects). It's a Polytechnic, so if you're in a program, you are dead set to take the courses they give you.

So my choices of specialization are limited to, Accounting, Finance, Marketing, Management, and Human Resources.

My family is in a rough situation right now. It's easy to say "Live for yourself" but they are looking to me to be their "saviour" financially. So I want to make sure I can support them, without struggling myself. They really have worked hard for me their entire lives. So it's killing me, because I know if I choose Accounting, I could most likely get a well paying job (The demand is high for Accountants where I live, the other options, not so much). I'm just feeling trapped, and I don't know what to do. The money appeals to me in Accounting, I'd be able to support my family, the security is there compared to the other options, but I don't know if I could be able to do it all of my life.

 

[Sensiko]

what about paying for college yourself so you don’t have a life-long guilt trip? you always have options...

if not, you could get a degree in accounting and do that for a while... then scale it down to part-time or work-from-home if you decide on pursuing something else... accounting (from what i know) is pretty flexible in that sense... but it sounds to me the real issue is being the “financial Savior” for your parents... that’s a hefty and stifling role to play, especially at an early age...

if your parental obligations didn’t exist, what would you want to do?

also: i don’t know anyone who has had one career their entire life (aside from my parent’s generation)

 

[Switchgirl]

Hi Sensiko,
I have expressed to my parents that I could just pay for college myself, but the funding is really tricky. They've invested in it since I was young. They always express to me it was a mistake investing in it, because if I switch out of my program, or opt out of the funding, the organization will keep the money and not return it. It's really complicated..

My parents are quite old, both over 50 years of age, and I am currently 18 (turning 19 soon). My mother currently doesn't work, nor wants to. She's relying on me to be her financial aid. She always tells me "You're going to help me, right? You have to, I've done so much for you my entire life." She really has, and I definitely want to help both of them out. It's stressful, but I guess I could suck it up and just deal with Accounting for a few years like you've said.

My personal dream is to move abroad, far away, and work as an interior designer or within the Make-Up /Fashion TV industry, or for an Art gallery.

Thanks for your advice, and yes that's true, I can always change my mind later on once I'm more financially stable.

 

[Cornerstone]

My parents are quite old, both over 50 years of age, and I am currently 18 (turning 19 soon). My mother currently doesn't work, nor wants to. She's relying on me to be her financial aid. She always tells me "You're going to help me, right? You have to, I've done so much for you my entire life." She really has, and I definitely want to help both of them out. It's stressful, but I guess I could suck it up and just deal with Accounting for a few years like you've said.

If she says this again, discuss it! I think that is absolutely unreasonable.

That is the reason some people have children, though. It's not uncommon, but still it is unreasonable.

It would even be fine if YOU had no issue with it, but it appears that you do.

Be calm and respectful because she is clearly quite frightened. I'm assuming you're in the UK as well, it is tough times for many people here right now.
Wanting to look after your family is admirable if it is your own choice but, without getting into an argument, try to get her to reflect on what she is saying/expecting.
If she is able to see that you DO want to help but that it is not your ONLY purpose in life and that an accounting degree is NO guarantee of financial success - she may calm down.

She may even need to (re)build her own self-esteem. Life begins at 40 but ends at 50-odd?! Rubbish!

But the situation with pensions and security is rotten in the UK so respect those concerns and fears when talking to her. Be the stable one!!

Also, I did a degree and have gone into a wildly different area of work straight out of uni. It's really not the end of the world!




Well...that's a different discussion

 

[Rcs6r]

If you don't like accounting, you will HATE marketing. In fact, I wouldn't recommend marketing to anyone unless they are either passionate about what they're selling or have no soul.

This is James Victore, a graphic designer from NYC and one of my biggest inspirations/heroes. He gives out tons of insight, not just on the design industry, but career struggles and life in general. Very worth listening to:

[video=youtube_share;DjuKpRnNdFA]http://youtu.be/DjuKpRnNdFA[/video]

 

[sassafras]

Well, I'm personally of the opinion that the business route cannot hurt. You can always minor in your interests and take your business education in that direction. Personally, I'd probably take Management if I were you because it's the most flexible and it allows you to work more with people, which I suspect as an INFJ, this would be more interesting that blinking blearily at a bunch of numbers.

 

[Switchgirl]

Hi Cornerstone,

Thank you for your advice. I'm actually in Canada , but I had no idea of the rough situation going on in the UK right now. Wish the best for you! (If you are there).
I really do want to help my parents as much as I can, but I feel it's a bit overwhelming for me to think about as of right now. I will definitely try speaking to her.
I definitely do want to be the stable one, I don't think either of my parents have invested in any sort of retirement plan, which is also why they look to me.

If you don't mind me asking, what degree did you pursue? Once again, thank you very much

 

[Switchgirl]

If you don't like accounting, you will HATE marketing. In fact, I wouldn't recommend marketing to anyone unless they are either passionate about what they're selling or have no soul.

That video was amazing! Thanks for that
Hmm, well I don't absolutely hate Accounting, in fact I am actually doing quite well in it as of right now, I just find it to be very mind-numbingly boring xD. Have you worked as a Marketer? I would love to hear your experience. Thanks for the warning, as I have worked in retail and absolutely HATED and dreaded it. The clique-y atmosphere, tricking poor innocent souls to spend their hard-earned money on terribly overpriced clothes. Eek. I don't want to remember it, lol.

Personally, I'd probably take Management if I were you because it's the most flexible and it allows you to work more with people, which I suspect as an INFJ, this would be more interesting that blinking blearily at a bunch of numbers.

Very true, but the only that worries me about Management is that I'd end up working in a retail store, which I absolutely, positively dread. I will look more into it and consider it though, thank you.

 

[Cornerstone]

Hi Cornerstone,

Thank you for your advice. I'm actually in Canada , but I had no idea of the rough situation going on in the UK right now. Wish the best for you! (If you are there).
I really do want to help my parents as much as I can, but I feel it's a bit overwhelming for me to think about as of right now. I will definitely try speaking to her.
I definitely do want to be the stable one, I don't think either of my parents have invested in any sort of retirement plan, which is also why they look to me.

If you don't mind me asking, what degree did you pursue? Once again, thank you very much

Ahh...it was the term polytechnic that made me think you were here.

I don't think it is so bad but if you want to be a part of the system and middling, mainstream society...yeah, it's not great. But thanks.

I studied History but am about to start work in mental health. I would maybe study more in that area too but I am not fully sure.

It depends what you are willing to do to get what you want. How much are you willing to potentially sacrifice materially to gain in integrity.
You can have both for sure, but it is difficult. I have always lived fairly basically so I don't mind not having fancy things, but I am working toward a more free lifestyle that money can, but doesn't necessarily provide. Their lives ARE their responsibility and it is a nice thing if you help. If they don't know that by now...I don't know what to say. I would struggle massively with that kind of pressure and would resent anyone who put that on my shoulders.

Also, to what level are you meant to maintain their lives? Basic sustenance? Where does it end? What parameters are you working within?

I would try to get clear on this but let your parents know that you love them and will help them out where you can in the meantime.

Do you want your own life, away from parents, to take precedence? Would you like them close? How close? Same street? Same city? Same house?!

What form will the support take? Look into these things because it can become a big overwhelming spectre when it is just 'support'.

All the best

 

[lawruhn]

I work at a University as a career counselor, and I just had a student with this dilemma a week ago! It's not an easy choice to make, when you are deciding your major/minor or academic pursuits, especially when there is some familial pressure. If they are helping you pay for the education, that is also a large factor in your decision. I often am a bit realistic with my students with parental pressure, telling them that it's not their parents taking the coursework, completing the degree and getting a job in a certain field. Many fields of work can procure financially secure jobs! The job outlook isn't that bleak if you are openminded, hard-working, and willing to figure it out with a bit of "trial and error" methodology. I've read on average, that people will change jobs every 18-months (or so) early on in their career if they are aren't satisfied or are still exploring options.

Here are some things that I would contemplate:
- Accounting (at least in the US) requires tests to become a Certified Public Account, which are not inexpensive, and usually require additional studying
- Like you said, accounting leads to being an accountant (single, linear path) - but good job outlook for the most part
- More general business areas like marketing, management, finance, etc. have more flexibility in positions you can apply for
- You can always market your accounting coursework and abilities if a job is looking for those skills
- Sometimes you just have to trust your gut... if you like a bit more creative of a job/field, that feeling might not shake itself off, and you might not want to ignore it
- There are courses in marketing or communications (sometimes a combined academic field) that you could try and see how you do, or if you enjoy them
- Are you looking to stay in your current area after school, or leave to a different location? Geography plays a huge role in job searching
- Remember: It's not always about the money, a job where you are relatively happy to go to everyday and enjoy the work you do will be much more rewarding in the long run (or so I believe)
- Remember: a college degree of any kind is a great accomplishment in and of itself, be proud that you are pursuing higher education

Best of luck!

 

[Switchgirl]

Ahh...it was the term polytechnic that made me think you were here.

Haha, I was also guessing you thought so because of how I typed "Saviour." In Canada we stick to the original British grammar rules.
It's comforting knowing that despite your degree, you've managed to get a job which was seemingly unrelated to it! I guess at this age,
everything seems like it will be the end of the world. xD I still have plenty of options, and thanks for clarifying that for me. They'll be living
on their own, but I'll just be sending them money every two weeks or so.

Ah, well my parents have this mentality of "I've worked my ass off for you, and it wasn't for nothing." They see that I am indebted to them. I don't really know
what's going to be happening with them, and I don't mind helping them out. I'm only worried about not pursuing my dreams based on the sole fact I felt that I
needed to support them. I don't want to live in regret, and it seems as if the options are prefer are quite scarce and limited here.

I definitely want to move far away in the future! Somewhere very far, far, away. I'm thinking of just starting off here and moving away once I'm ready. I do want
to be near my parents, I really don't know what their plans are.

 

[Switchgirl]

Hi Lawruhn,

Thank you so much for your advice! I'm relieved to know that I'm definitely not the only one with this issue, and I guess at least at one point of everyone's lives
must deal with an issue like this. I'm also thinking Accounting may take too long to complete, with a bleak return. I originally thought Accounting had a great outlook
here, but after reading through some local forums, yikes. As you've said, I believe flexibility would be the best for me.

There's always that money vs. happiness argument, and what you've said has made me realize that with some time, and trial-and-error, you really can have both.
Besides, I think I'd die an earlier death if I worked in Accounting my entire life (No offence to any Accountants! You're probably some of the strongest people out there!)

Thanks again, everyone! You really all have helped a lot, and I hope this thread helps other confused college students like me.

 

[Faye]

My advice is to double major in accounting and something you enjoy. That way, you get the best of both worlds.

Nothing creative will be likely to lead to a stable career path (i.e. art and music). If you can't make a living off of one, you might get to enjoy doing it on the side (i.e. selling artwork on Etsy or playing in an evening ensemble or what have you).

I don't recommend marketing/communications. It is a highly extroverted group-think environment from what I've seen. You still end up working for a corporation (if you're lucky), but you wont have as easy a time finding and keeping jobs, you will have to be far more people oriented, and a lot of what you learn wont be put to use. In general, it is a bad area for INFJs.

Of course, take my advice w/ a grain of salt because I was a straight up philosophy major. I do regret what I did though.

Edit: Forget to mention that I'm taking a graduate seminar with the comm department at my university right now. All my classmates in that class save one work in marketing and PR.

 

[this is only temporary]

All right, a few quick comments:

• I don't like how your parents are treating you as a meal ticket-slash-retirement plan. That is not how we treat children -- you love your parents, and of course they have done a lot for you, but this may be crossing some pretty big boundaries... be careful. Are you an only child? Your desire to move far, far away tells me you're feeling a lot of pressure already. Make sure you don't get under too much pressure or that you don't ever take care of yourself.
• The reason adults like Accounting as a major is that it tends to lead (eventually) to steady, gainful employment and a good income. Those things are nothing to sneeze at. I know some formerly dewy-eyed 18-year-olds who got arts degrees, who are now returning to school in their 30s to become lawyers, because they have come to appreciate steady gainful employment and a good income.
• I like Dragon's suggestion.
• I also used to think Accounting was boring but have come to realize it is tolerable. However, I'd like to major in Finance if I had to pick one from your list. Just my opinion.
• It's hard to make a living doing something creative, but not impossible. Talk to people who have done it/are doing it; find out what they did. I almost guarantee you they have, in addition to creative skills, some accounting and marketing skills.
• Also -- even if you DO major in accounting, entry-level Accounting jobs are not going to enable you to support your parents in some luxurious lifestyle. You'll be doing all right but not rolling in money; it will take you a while to get established.

Best of luck!

 

[Solongo]

The number one thing you have going for you is time. You are still young. That means you should break out and risk as much as you can to find that thing that will "stimulate" and excite you. Now will be the time. if you delay or conform to what your family is telling you; you will reach a point in your older years where you will feel even more trapped and unsure and will have no room to experiment anymore and that will eat away at your soul. The only thing you need is courage. if you can muster up courage and go out on your own; even if you are unsure - you will be better off than hoping, wishing or waiting for something to happen to you. Life rewards the bold, not those who are safe.

 

[lawruhn]

Hi Lawruhn,

Thank you so much for your advice! I'm relieved to know that I'm definitely not the only one with this issue, and I guess at least at one point of everyone's lives
must deal with an issue like this. I'm also thinking Accounting may take too long to complete, with a bleak return. I originally thought Accounting had a great outlook
here, but after reading through some local forums, yikes. As you've said, I believe flexibility would be the best for me.

There's always that money vs. happiness argument, and what you've said has made me realize that with some time, and trial-and-error, you really can have both.
Besides, I think I'd die an earlier death if I worked in Accounting my entire life (No offence to any Accountants! You're probably some of the strongest people out there!)

Thanks again, everyone! You really all have helped a lot, and I hope this thread helps other confused college students like me.

You're welcome! I definitely think if you stay flexible with your degree and are open minded while job searching, the happiness/money balance is a bit easier to achieve! And in terms of the amount of time for a certain major or another, that could be a deciding factor.