I was raised by good but young and immature parents. I was the first one, and unexpected. Lived for a while in my grandfather's home. I was dreamy, ridiculously shy, curious, creative, and i had a penchant for melancholy and nostalgia. Given my eccentricities, i had a really hard time making myself understood by others, specially my classmates in elementary school and teachers. The first years of school were difficult, couldn't fit in, i would usually cry for no reason, and spent hours in the bathroom alone and locked in, while my teachers, desperately looked for me around the school. Had a bad time handling my emotional responses, my mother usually complains about how difficult to handle and overwhelming i was as a kid, like throwing tantrums, scream and lock in my room, or escape my house after an argument with her or my dad, take a bus, and go to my grandfather's house, most of this remainded as anecdotical anyway, it wasn't that serious. Besides that, i was a normal kid, loved comics, Batman was my favourite, also collected some Asterix and Obelix, and once i found some Milo Manara's comics, in my father's closet lol. It was hilarious, because my mother studied drawing, and she usually copied them so those were actually from hers, not my father's as a lot of people may assume.
The first friends that i had were two, out of our shared passion for drawing, one of them was a girl, and she was my first huge crush for 4 years straight, and it was never reciprocated, but it helped me to bring out that romantic part of me like never before, usual fantasies of me rescuing and taking care of her, wrote poems, and started to draw way better given my need to impress her. To think of all the times that i made a fool of myself just to get her attention, haha. Once i traded with a classmate the main role in a school play, just to play as her lover... haha.
Then i moved away, and my parents divorced. It was tough. Made new friends and acquired other interests, like music... In freshman highschool i fell into a deep and debilitating depression triggered by a devastating breakup with a girl that i loved, the bad family situation that i was going through, and some bad genes regarding family history, mental illness and brain chemistry unfortunately. Took 4 years of my life to learn to live with this sh!t, and in the middle i lost a handful of friends, and i had to drop out of highschool given the emotional state that i was in, that made me unable to cope with a day of interactions, duties, homework and study, without feeling that i was trapped in a black hole, while watching everything fall apart, constant obsessions, and self destructive behaviour, like fiercely pushing away everyone who cared while yearning for some company. It got worse after i started to self mutilate, and stopped to eat and didn't leave my room, it was extremely hard, because this wasn't only a sadness, it was a disease, a really confusing one, but a disease nonetheless, it's a shame that there's still people who don't treat this with the seriousness it deserves. Spent a season in a mental institution after a really serious mental breakdown. Started to recover from it slowly, the process was painful, and i was lonely, but i made pretty well in my free exams, read a lot, philosophy mostly, developed a passion for art, took drawing classes, helped a painter to mount an exposition in a fancy museum, played music, re-made some friendships, made new ones, and finally hitchiked around my country alone after i turned 18 and having my first paycheck as an adult, my fathers were extremely scared of this and to be honest, i was, too, it was crazy, but had a really good time and met some wonderful people and learned a lot of tough lessons. Made my best not to fall into drugs to evade from the pain, psych medications make your trips and highs a little bit more dangerous too, and i was aware of that, fortunately i did pretty well, besides trying a couple of them, like a lot of teenagers do, never developed any addiction, nor alcohol or weed, nor tried hard/artificial drugs, besides meds, obviously.
The first friends that i had were two, out of our shared passion for drawing, one of them was a girl, and she was my first huge crush for 4 years straight, and it was never reciprocated, but it helped me to bring out that romantic part of me like never before, usual fantasies of me rescuing and taking care of her, wrote poems, and started to draw way better given my need to impress her. To think of all the times that i made a fool of myself just to get her attention, haha. Once i traded with a classmate the main role in a school play, just to play as her lover... haha.
Then i moved away, and my parents divorced. It was tough. Made new friends and acquired other interests, like music... In freshman highschool i fell into a deep and debilitating depression triggered by a devastating breakup with a girl that i loved, the bad family situation that i was going through, and some bad genes regarding family history, mental illness and brain chemistry unfortunately. Took 4 years of my life to learn to live with this sh!t, and in the middle i lost a handful of friends, and i had to drop out of highschool given the emotional state that i was in, that made me unable to cope with a day of interactions, duties, homework and study, without feeling that i was trapped in a black hole, while watching everything fall apart, constant obsessions, and self destructive behaviour, like fiercely pushing away everyone who cared while yearning for some company. It got worse after i started to self mutilate, and stopped to eat and didn't leave my room, it was extremely hard, because this wasn't only a sadness, it was a disease, a really confusing one, but a disease nonetheless, it's a shame that there's still people who don't treat this with the seriousness it deserves. Spent a season in a mental institution after a really serious mental breakdown. Started to recover from it slowly, the process was painful, and i was lonely, but i made pretty well in my free exams, read a lot, philosophy mostly, developed a passion for art, took drawing classes, helped a painter to mount an exposition in a fancy museum, played music, re-made some friendships, made new ones, and finally hitchiked around my country alone after i turned 18 and having my first paycheck as an adult, my fathers were extremely scared of this and to be honest, i was, too, it was crazy, but had a really good time and met some wonderful people and learned a lot of tough lessons. Made my best not to fall into drugs to evade from the pain, psych medications make your trips and highs a little bit more dangerous too, and i was aware of that, fortunately i did pretty well, besides trying a couple of them, like a lot of teenagers do, never developed any addiction, nor alcohol or weed, nor tried hard/artificial drugs, besides meds, obviously.
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