Can you figure out your feelings for someone quickly? | INFJ Forum

Can you figure out your feelings for someone quickly?

Gaze

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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So, I've noticed that I can tell fairly soon sometimes, almost immediately, whether or not I'm really interested in or very attracted to someone (including personality), without much time or effort, although I may not know the reason why until I get to know them more later on. In other words, I can tell whether I have a connection with someone pretty quickly. Not sure if this is common or not, since I've heard other types say it takes them a long time to figure out their feelings of attraction or interest in someone. But I know my feelings fairly quickly while the other person may take a while to figure it out.

Can you figure out your feelings for someone quickly?
 
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umm i dont know. Maybe i do but i dont want to accept them. In the case of loving someone of course.
 
I asked this question because like most people, I assumed it was pretty normal or typical for people to decide soon after they meet someone whether there's something there. But after reading about other people's experiences and listening to others describe their experiences, it doesn't always work that way for everyone so that's why I'm curious. Maybe it isn't really a significant thing or maybe it's common, idk. That's why I'm curious if others feel the same or disagree.
 
I think I do perceive and interpret chemistry (friendship, romantic, and other) very quickly, yes.
 
Yes it's rare but sometimes I will be intrigued by someone and drawn to them immediately. And I don't necessarily mean just in a romantic/sexual way. It's like strange waves of deja vu and emotions I can't describe. Later I usually find out that we've had similar experiences or similar patterns of beliefs throughout our lives. Or one of us has knowledge that is useful to the other.
 
If I go after someone first, then I already know my personal intentions and feelings toward the person. But if they go after me, it takes time for me to warm up to them... and I find myself more confused about my ~feelings~. I don't like feeling confused, keeps me from finding out more about that person and what I could like about them.

BTW, your avatar is HOT HOT HOT tamale.
 
toska said:
Yes it's rare but sometimes I will be intrigued by someone and drawn to them immediately. And I don't necessarily mean just in a romantic/sexual way. It's like strange waves of deja vu and emotions I can't describe. Later I usually find out that we've had similar experiences or similar patterns of beliefs throughout our lives. Or one of us has knowledge that is useful to the other.
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This is similar to what i mean. I feel a connection but I can't explain it. But I recognize it almost instantly.
 
Most people fall into a general "I like you" category because that is my "default" setting since I want to try and give everyone a chance.

That being said, however, there are times (though rare) when a person immediately connects with me or immediately repels me....but most people fall into the general area.

Unfortunately, for me, most everyone (99%) stay in that general area....if I had one regret in life, it would probably be that - my inability to deeply connect with allot of people.
 
i will 'feel' it almost immediately one way or the other. it takes a bit of time around the person to 'know' it for certain, though. i use this time to find out about them more, watch their body language, how they respond to other people, what they talk about, how they talk etc.
i am very conflicted about my feelings at times because i may think the person is a total wipe out and not want to have anything to do with them, but at the same time i can alo feel this human-to-human tug, a love that has nothing to do with my judgements or preferences.
pisses me off sometimes.
 
I shut down some woman who was trying to talk to me the other day. I didn't think about why til afterward. She had a vibe about her that I didn't like.

Slow on the uptake.
 
Usually the more mutuality, the better the chances
So hm, maybe. I'm still at an age where I'm still trying to figure it all out. ><
 
No I find a lot of people attractive just because they are new. Then it takes a while (months sometimes) of interacting to decide if this person has an acceptable personality. But that's what dating is all about, getting to know people.
 
I pick up on the potential for feelings, yes, but sometimes people grow on me and I have to change my mind (or they really rub me the wrong way and I have to change it, too). I've never experienced an immediate or fast connection to someone, though I have found people interesting enough to stay up all night talking to.
 
Pretty quickly. Like within a couple weeks.

Usually I can distinguish between:

1. very friendly and snuggly
2. very emotional and snuggly
3. romantic potential - even if unconsummated
 
Cedar said:
Can you figure out your feelings for someone quickly?[/B]
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Usually yes. When I was picking out a new place to live and new roommates, I could tell right away that I'm not going to mesh well with some people. A 20 minute interview was enough.

But I also found that my first impressions aren't always right :/ so I'm willing to reconsider my stance towards a person at a later date, if I find that I have mis-judged them. Unfortunately first impressions can stick around for a long time - http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110118113445.htm
 
toska said:
Yes it's rare but sometimes I will be intrigued by someone and drawn to them immediately. And I don't necessarily mean just in a romantic/sexual way. It's like strange waves of deja vu and emotions I can't describe. Later I usually find out that we've had similar experiences or similar patterns of beliefs throughout our lives. Or one of us has knowledge that is useful to the other.
Click to expand...

!!!!
 
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