Can Men and Women Be 'Just Friends'?
- Thread starter Faye
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I am not sure. I don't really have any close straight male friends irl now, though I certainly talk to a lot of them as acquaintainces sometimes. I have a lot of close gay male friends irl though, but I don't think this is relephant for OP.
I do have a lot of straight male friends online. Some of them I've had for many years. Sure we might have the urge to bang each other once in a while, but since it'd be a hassle to achieve that, it can't really get in the way.
also, this
I do have a lot of straight male friends online. Some of them I've had for many years. Sure we might have the urge to bang each other once in a while, but since it'd be a hassle to achieve that, it can't really get in the way.
also, this
NO. I can't believe not one woman interviewed said that. I used to think it was possible, but realistically it is almost impossible for at least one party not to harbor feelings that they fantasize will be realized eventually.
Like serenity said, "Does it count if they're homosexual?"
Like serenity said, "Does it count if they're homosexual?"
Then you aren't just friends. You are her friend, and she is your friend that you want to have sex with.
I had a lot of guy friends in high school, some of which I still consider friends that never showed any sort of interest in me. They could all have secretly wanted to do me I guess, it's possible. 
I really don't think so though. When you are the fat ugly friend and they very obviously want to screw all your hot friends instead...you don't really worry about such things. In fact the idea that maybe one of them might want to do you is pretty much out of the question. But I tend to believe it is true that given the chance, even if they aren't super attracted to the girl, -most- guys would still hook up with them if there wasn't a better option available.
I really don't think so though. When you are the fat ugly friend and they very obviously want to screw all your hot friends instead...you don't really worry about such things. In fact the idea that maybe one of them might want to do you is pretty much out of the question. But I tend to believe it is true that given the chance, even if they aren't super attracted to the girl, -most- guys would still hook up with them if there wasn't a better option available.
- Mar 17, 2010
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Yes. The notion that they can't is a massive load of bullshit perpetuated by men and women who metaphorically can't keep it in their pants.
Edit: Also there's no reason you can't fuck someone and stay friends.
Edit: Also there's no reason you can't fuck someone and stay friends.
I don't believe you can have sex with someone and still be their friend. You are just ex-lovers then.
I have had a lot of guy friends. Some I have had no attraction toward and some that I have. I tend to tease and flirt too which can make things difficult. I dunno, I generally go with the flow. If things become too much or we need to talk about stuff, that is what you do. I will say that once I become friends with a guy, even if I am attracted, I generally won't make a move or hook up. I can't bear to lose the friendship. All my long term boyfriends have started out as dates, not friends.
I have had a lot of guy friends. Some I have had no attraction toward and some that I have. I tend to tease and flirt too which can make things difficult. I dunno, I generally go with the flow. If things become too much or we need to talk about stuff, that is what you do. I will say that once I become friends with a guy, even if I am attracted, I generally won't make a move or hook up. I can't bear to lose the friendship. All my long term boyfriends have started out as dates, not friends.
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Well put it this way, if the world was bisexual I'm sure that most people would want to bang their attractive friends no matter what their gender. People enjoy sex.
Let's categorize anyway.
a) If your friend finds you attractive: Still a friend.
b) If your friend finds you attractive and would fuck you if the opportunity presented itself: Still a friend.
c) If your friend is only your "friend" because they want to fuck you: Was never a friend.
That's the way I see things.
Even if you don't consider b) a friend there are still plenty of men and women with enough restraint to fit into category a). So yes, men and women can just be friends.
Most of my straight male friends are my friends because they were trying to pursue a relationship with me. More often than not I have not been interested but for whatever reason they have stuck around- maybe hoping I'd change my mind or maybe realizing they prefer having me in their life as opposed to out of their life. For me, it doesn't matter if someone has a sexual or romantic attraction to me, I am fine having that friendship even if it's uncomfortable for them. I think that once there becomes mutual attraction then the line between being just friends and more starts to blur. If you actually start having sex then I have a hard time considering it to be "just friends."
I have had a few friendships myself where I was romantically interested in my male friend but he didn't feel the same but I also maintained the friendship because I preferred to have them in my life as opposed to not being in my life. It's really uncomfortable until you start to accept that things will never move past the friendship level and then those feelings fade- at least they do for me. And then I'm still left with a great friendship.
I think that men and women CAN be just friends but I also think that more often than not one party will develop a "more than friends" interest in the other.
I have had a few friendships myself where I was romantically interested in my male friend but he didn't feel the same but I also maintained the friendship because I preferred to have them in my life as opposed to not being in my life. It's really uncomfortable until you start to accept that things will never move past the friendship level and then those feelings fade- at least they do for me. And then I'm still left with a great friendship.
I think that men and women CAN be just friends but I also think that more often than not one party will develop a "more than friends" interest in the other.
Though I agree almost entirely with the point the video is trying to make, it is hardly scientific. The survey is taken at a university (Strike one) where those surveyed are all reasonably attractive (two) and from similar backgrounds (three, in my opinion) .
My boyfriend made the point that men reach their sexual peak around this age, in the early to mid-twenties, but women typically do not do so until their thirties.
At any rate, I still agree with his point. It is my opinion that we possess the ability to consciously override our biological impulses to find the most attractive and fertile mate to produce the most viable offspring, in order to be in committed, monogamous relationships. If the question is whether or not a reasonably attractive heterosexual man and woman can be friends without the notion of sex ever entering into the equation, my answer is ABSOLUTELY not. That is not to say they cannot be friends, but that they cannot be *just* friends.
My boyfriend made the point that men reach their sexual peak around this age, in the early to mid-twenties, but women typically do not do so until their thirties.
At any rate, I still agree with his point. It is my opinion that we possess the ability to consciously override our biological impulses to find the most attractive and fertile mate to produce the most viable offspring, in order to be in committed, monogamous relationships. If the question is whether or not a reasonably attractive heterosexual man and woman can be friends without the notion of sex ever entering into the equation, my answer is ABSOLUTELY not. That is not to say they cannot be friends, but that they cannot be *just* friends.
There are a number of females in my life that I consider "just friends". Many are engaged or married, but a good number of them are not. I see them as friends, but nothing romantic. I can't speak for them, but I would venture that at least one of them, by sheer chance, also does not see me as anything more than "just friends".
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I couldn't blame them. I had to stop looking at mirrors because it got too expensive having to replace all the ones I broke by instinctively trying to "jump the bones" of my reflection. 'tis a hard life for me, being this god damn beautiful and all.