Blame fosters a sense of control? | INFJ Forum

Blame fosters a sense of control?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by TinyBubbles, Jul 12, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by TinyBubbles
  1. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,346
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,225
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    You know how people look for someone to blame whenever something seems to go wrong, and often this seems to be counterproductive, if not completely useless in terms of finding a solution to the problem? Well, could it be that the reason we search for someone or something to place the blame on -to identify a particular reason, a particular mechanism that causes a particular action- is because we want to establish (re-establish?) a sense of control? (and therefore increase our perceived sense of freedom?)

    If there is someone to blame, that means there's someone responsible for the action occurring in the first place - and a responsible party frequently (not always) means a controllable party - either through coercion or force. Maybe that's why when a direct physical or human cause can't be found, especially for things like diseases and illnesses, that we attribute them to god's doing -it would be god's fault, or god's blessing, depending on how you look at it - and the responsibility would lie with him, and you could influence that sense of responsibility via prayer or other means and therefore re-establish a sense of control.

    This probably makes no sense, but I'll throw it out there in hopes it'll reign in a few new thoughts! :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,298
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    Blame is an interesting concept, that I largely keep completely to myself. It is the externalization of blame that causes the problem. In particular when people don't agree on the source of it. Very often I place the blame on the circumstances, and not just one person. If the blame is singulated on one person, then an issue pops up. Because then they feel cornered and either remorse or anger. Blame is one of the core reasons why I want to disregard emotions, because just the slightest hint of emotion involved with a judgement when deciding on a "blame" clouds it quite badly.

    Blame indeed does have a purposes though. It helps us figure out what was the causeation of an action. It is ideal to place blame on cirumstances (again what I stated is the first thing I will often try to do, and usually can do it sucessfully). Interestingly some people don't like blame on the cirumstances, they want it on people. Which largely is illogical because that just causes fighting in the majority of cases. Blame is linked to causation, which is further linked to a solution. It's amazing how many people refuse to accept blame when it is placed (even partially) upon them.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2008
    Threads:
    160
    Messages:
    4,066
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    319
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ISFP
    Yup, also blaming someone else can help distance yourself from negative things and mean you can avoid painful self-reflection.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,298
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    which is why it is so tempting to do in unwarrented cases.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2009
    Threads:
    132
    Messages:
    2,838
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,992
    Trophy Points:
    802
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I think there's a psychological concept for this known as the locus of control. If you have an internal locus of control, you tend to blame yourself for problems even if they were outside of your control. On the other hand, if you have an external locust of control, you tend to blame problems to outside influences such as bad luck or on other people.

    Weirdly enough, people with a high external locus of control tend to be more happy individuals as opposed to people with internal. Of course this is a correlation, so there's no way of knowing if blaming others is directly affected by it.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Threads:
    62
    Messages:
    6,560
    Likes Received:
    1,903
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Beep Boop
    Enneagram:
    Beep Boop
    I feel that blame is completely unnecessary. Life happens. Things happen. People happen. Placing blame does not change what is. It points a finger and in the end I don't feel it solves anything. I don't feel that blaming something or something will truly help people to move on from what IS. I used to heavily blame other people for fear of having to deal with the fact that perhaps it was my own perceptions, reactions or actions to things that were causing my particular circumstance. We have a choice to accept what's happening in our lives, or continuously resist and pass the buck so as to avoid responsibility.

    I do think there's an element of control here. I think more often than not people like to be in control of things, but they don't want to be responsible for things. I think it's fairly clear when something or someone is at fault, but when something happens to you as caused by someone else, don't forget that they too are having this thing happen to them as well.

    In my head what I'm writing makes perfect logical sense, but I'm exhausted so it may not be translating into words.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2008
    Threads:
    160
    Messages:
    4,066
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    319
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ISFP
    It made me think of "The Cove" the other day, where the Japanese government tried to blame the lack of fish on the whales, the whales! No it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you've raped, pillaged and eaten everything not only in your own seas but in oceans all around the world, of course it's the whale's fault. :rolleyes:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Inquisitive

    Inquisitive Steering By The Stars

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    92
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    .
    Makes perfect sense...

    Cause and effect is a pretty observable law. So I think it
     
  9. slant

    slant amour-propre
    Donor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2008
    Threads:
    357
    Messages:
    11,497
    Featured Threads:
    50
    Likes Received:
    22,489
    Trophy Points:
    1,901
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    ****
    Enneagram:
    6-4-9
    In one of my college study essentials book there is article like 'love your problems' and it basically tells you that with each problem try to take responsibility in it even if you have none and celebrate your mistakes. Um, anyway, I thought it was a stupid concept to be teaching because in certain situations you don't have any responsibility in a situation and working with people who have been sexually and physically abused the idea of taking responsibility for problems that have nothing to do with you [which is specified is what you should do] encourages a sort of self-harm inflicting attitude. Taking responsibility, blame, or credit for something makes a person feel in control because they feel like they had a part in making something happen, therefore they are not the victim.

    I feel this is really unhealthy.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
    Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Threads:
    323
    Messages:
    10,047
    Featured Threads:
    49
    Likes Received:
    5,629
    Trophy Points:
    1,102
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    MBTI:
    INTJ - A
    Enneagram:
    10000
    Finding the cause of problems is important if you want to solve/prevent them. I suspect that finding a negative/unwanted cause is virtually instinctual in us - so that if the real cause is not found (mis-information, for example), many will simply start trying to blame someone in order to satisfy a need for closure.
     
  11. Detective Conan

    Detective Conan Doesn't Cast Shadows

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Threads:
    31
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    184
    Trophy Points:
    210
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1
    Really, I think blame is a useless tool, especially when it's directed at yourself. It doesn't help anyone (in most cases; blaming someone for a crime might actually be productive) and usually ends up in bruised feelings. What's odd is the people who blame themselves for something they had no control over (basically what slant said) and that's where blame really shows how useless it is.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,821
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,253
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    Blame is only useful in that it points to the true guilty party so that they can be granted the repercussions of their actions. A car accident for example needs someone at fault to determine who will pay for it. Or a trial for a murderer, the accused is blamed for a crime that must be punished by our own laws. Also a murderer shouldnt be allowed into public.

    Blame also works in that it can get the lesson to the right person. If we never have to accept blame for a fuck up, how can we learn from our mistakes?

    Blame only becomes a problem when its used to of course less then noble reasoning. But then, thats the case for things isnt it?
     
  13. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2009
    Threads:
    197
    Messages:
    6,503
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,726
    Trophy Points:
    380
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    Blaming establishes a sense of control, but :
    a) Is that for a good cause? (say; denial, for instance)
    b) Would that make them better? (say, self-blame. Would putting blame on oneself gives control, or strips themselves of their own control on themselves?)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page