being our own 1950s wife | INFJ Forum

being our own 1950s wife

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by beetpoet, May 31, 2010.

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  1. beetpoet

    beetpoet Community Member

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    the following are from a 1950s home economics textbook for women about how to treat their husbands. it's kind of creepy thinking of the expectations back then. anyway, i thought i would steal them and change them up. i think they are better as guidelines for how we could all treat ourselves at the end of a long day:

    -Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal. This is a way of letting (you) know that you have been thinking about (you) and are concerned about (your) needs. Most people are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

    -Prepare yourself for (your) arrival home. Wash up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. (You) may have just been with a lot of weary people through the day. So be a little gay. (Your) tiresome day may need a lift.

    -Clear away the clutter. Make a quick trip around the main part of the house to gather up books, toys, paper, etc. then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your (self) will feel that (you) have reached a haven of rest and order by coming home.

    -Prepare the children (cats/dogs/housemates) for (your) arrival: Take a few minutes to have them wash their hands and faces, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and your (self) would like to see them playing the part.

    -Minimize all noise: At the time of (your) arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Put on some quiet background music. Be happy to see (yourself). Greet (yourself) with a warm smile and an embrace.

    -Some don'ts: Don't greet (yourself) with problems or complaints. Consider what (you) might have gone through that day. When (you) are more relaxed, these things can be talked through in a calm manner, and (you) will feel appreciated for the opportunity to give advice.

    -Make (yourself) comfortable: Have (yourself) lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that (you) lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for (yourself). Arrange (your) pillow and offer to take off (your) shoes. Speak to (yourself) in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow (yourself) to relax-unwind.

    -Listen to (you): There may be a dozen things to do, but the moment of (your) arrival is not the time. Let (you) talk about your day, or anything else on (your) mind first.

    -Make the evening (yours): Never complain if (you) do not want to go out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand (your) world of strain and pressure, and (your) need to be home and relax awhile.
     
  2. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    It really is amazing to think that this indeed was the expectations largely for people back in that time period, and that most people embraced it. I truly can not wrap my brain around this whole mindset because I am so may generations apart from this.

    I really do like the spin you put on this. It makes it feel very refreshing, in particular for people who really do not take the time to truly care for themselves, when they are so concerned for others or other things. Very ironic as this is how this book was written in the first place.
     
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  3. Feelings

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    PIERCE LIKES PIERCE LIKES!!!
     
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  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Sounds like way too much work.
     
  5. chocky

    chocky Regular Poster

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    Change the pronoun and suddenly it all makes sense.

    I grew up in a time warp with matriarchs that were still very much in the 1950s mold. They seemed to despise it, but compulsively behaved in the manner - so bitter. They died that way, early and bitter.

    Worded this way, obviously it is a psychological attitude that is meant to engender love, not bitterness. Does bitterness arise when the subconscious sees the nurturance directed toward the other at the cost of the self? Is it a natural reaction to a kind of perceived injustice?

    Hmm....

    Yet I find the concept of self-love (nurturance) doesn't apply easily. I wonder if this is something the NF types find more natural, or if generational removal from the toxic variant has greater impact on how balanced the psyche is toward its own needs.

    What if you just plain forget that you have needs? It's kind of inconsequential to the pursuit of knowledge.
     
  6. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    Wow... I wouldn't have made a good housewife then! Not that I would make a good one now, but really not then!
     
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  7. IndigoSensor

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    That's partly because the stereotypical 1950's housewife is an ESFJ :tongue1:.
     
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  8. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    No wonder I never thought I was one of those.
     
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  9. Feelings

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    i would like an INFJ who will do all these things for me, and also is super hot and makes a ton of cash
     
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  10. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    those are not so bad, keeping the house clean and not greeting people with problems the moment they step into the house is simple courtesy.
     
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  11. TurtleTrooper

    TurtleTrooper Community Member

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    weird.
    Lol. The 50s were the best, i don't care what anyone says. Just the style back then was freaking amazing. I loved loved loved the recent video games bioshock and fallout 3 with their 50s theme. amazingg

    But seriously, these are mostly just cultural differences. I'm not that shocked. In Africa the man will go out and have sex with as many women as he possibly can. That's just what they do there. That's why AIDS is so prevalent. I also just read about 40 pages on it. don't know how i managed to do it.

    Different times, different ways. I'm sure in 50 or 60 years people will look back and think about how weird we were too.
     
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  12. Matariki

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    Everyone was trying to be gay in the 50's.
     
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  13. TurtleTrooper

    TurtleTrooper Community Member

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    weird.
    Good input. The nuclear family is so gay.
     
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  14. Feelings

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    Only in Africa?
     
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  15. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    Instant-Rage!

    [​IMG]

    Taking care of a household, children and doing the housework is actually rather stressful and difficult. The hypocritical dirt bag husband should take off his wife's shoes and give her a foot massage for taking care of his ADHD demon spawn and cleaning the house all day long!
     
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    #15 Peppermint, May 31, 2010
    Last edited: May 31, 2010
  16. chocky

    chocky Regular Poster

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    Children should be sealed in jars of formaldehyde at birth and tastefully arranged on the sideboard, then everyone could appreciate life.
     
  17. Chessie

    Chessie Community Member

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    You're dreaming.

    INFJ women are VERY independent, for the most part only passingly terrible with money ( I know I am) , and they have the highest rates of marital strife of any personality type.

    They're also curious, with a tendency to explore new things.

    You might walk in one day to her waiting in the 1950's housewife style, but she'd have a bondage harness on underneath and a whip behind the front door.
     
  18. TurtleTrooper

    TurtleTrooper Community Member

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    weird.
    I know almost nothing about the 50s, but it seems to just have this wonderful charm to it.

    If I could decide my own fate, I would have been born in 1945. Grow up in the ideal suburban household of the 50s, experience the counterculture amazingness of the 60s, then have kids and not care about the 70s or 80s or 90s or 00s. lol. Would definitely miss my iPod touch though.
     
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  19. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    They should rub each others feet and then have sex.

    Kids kinda kill the sex part though.
     
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