Being confident of your type | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Being confident of your type

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by arbygil, Dec 3, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Personally, I think it's key to figuring certain things out, including strengths and weaknesses, but we can fit more than one type description. Although, you're not supposed to care or limit yourself by type, for me, I would prefer knowing for certain which type I am. I identify as INFP, but tests mostly say INFJ. It's one of the main reasons I joined the forum almost 7 years ago. I've started "type me" threads, but not much finalized there, since people get annoyed with someone questioning their type, especially if they think it's obvious, at least from their pov, that you are a certain type. I think for the purpose of learning more about ourselves, and what makes us tick, it's useful information, but maybe shouldn't be counted on.

    Discovering who we are is a lifelong endeavor and interesting journey. Even if we knew our types for certain, will not suddenly reveal all aspects of who we are. As humans, we are more complicated than our types. Yes, a type label may give some indication our inner workings, but not all. I've probably disliked most being told what type because some expert said so. Although, I was typed by an so-called MBTI expert in person as INTP. But without any real discussion as to how this was determined, the analysis is iffy.

    Sometimes, it's merely a curious mind which enjoys exploring the possibility of being various types. I don't think it's necessary to be confident in your type, but it's ok to want to identify with a group or category because it makes us feel as if we belong somewhere, and are understood. It makes us feel not so alone, to fit in with similar types of people as we are. So, everything in moderation, the Good Book says. So, yeah. :)
     
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  2. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Ran across this...how many are we really??:confused:

    http://personalityjunkie.com/07/infj-other-side/

    "...there is something romantic about this perception of the INFJ as rare and unusual (such rarity inspires practically everyone to want to identify as an INFJ!) It would be fallacious to suggest, however, that “rare” necessarily translates to “special” or “favored.” INFJs who (ab)use their “1th” percentile status in support of the idea that rarity is the central defining characteristic of the INFJ and a great way to set them apart from the rest of the typological “riff-raff” are missing the point. At worst, combine this with an immature or undeveloped INFJ’s propensity for “know it all” behavior and you have a killer recipe for offending a heck of a lot of people.

    Without a doubt, the most frequent complaint about INFJs (or INTJs for that matter) is the way in which their unswerving devotion to their own visions and intuitions causes them to be closed off to alternative opinions or arguments."
     
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  3. charlatan

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    I think it's worth noting that any statistics on "rare" INFJ are probably from the MBTI instrument/test, not from cognitive functions analysis, as really, there is no empirically validated MBTI functions measure directly....there's things like keys2cognition which are ultimately their own thing. So actually, there's no real reason to suspect NiF types are rarer than others -- it's well known among people who know Jungian theory well that the MBTI test aligns very loosely at best with it. I think it's noncontroversial to those who have thought through this stuff that the actual MBTI test is more related to the Big 5 dimensions of personality than to Jungian theory.
     
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  4. Rcs6r

    Rcs6r Must be the feeling~
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    I haven't had time to read the whole OP, but I think MBTI/personality is fluid and shapes/adapts to whatever situation we are in in the present, as well as over the course of our lives.

    So while we have our main cognitive functions we gravitate to (which determines type), we can and do utilize other functions for as long as we need to under the right circumstances- whether it is because stress, at work, around other people, etc.
     
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  5. Happy Phantom

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    This.
     
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  6. invisible

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  7. invisible

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    The foundational concept of type theory and what it offers is not fluidity but stability. Sure things are fluid but that doesn't necessarily provide a good foundation for analysis. Recognising our own strengths, specialness, and individuality is a constructive beginning for development of those personal characteristics.

    It is OK to see ourselves as special, it is a good part of robust self-esteem and self-concept, and it does not necessarily involve cutting others down. We can't be responsible for others who believe that we make them less special by celebrating our own specialness. Everyone is responsible for discovering and building up their own specialness. Arrogance is a separate problem.

    Actually throughout life we will meet people who will desire to cut us down by denying our specialness. Don't let them - they do it out of their own insecurity.
     
  8. Ryso89

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    It is healthy to recognize our talents and abilities as unique, but equally healthy to remain humble on our paths, wherever they lead. I am a confident person, but have not always been. If we answer to no one but our own inner voice and abide by our moral compass, we can achieve great things. It is wise to avoid any kind of spotlight, but we are naturally different, and because of these differences, it is normal for us to be the outcast in a given situation. We must remain strong and diligent if we ever intend to make the change in the world our universe has created us to make.
     
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  9. Brandon

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    The truth is, I don't think at least at first that it was possible accepting myself for me. SHOOT, being confident about it? Yeah right. I felt it's hard to accept myself in this world bc I am sorrounded by people who are different from me and I often feel misunderstood. I feel out of place with people, society, and time. Not in a depressing way. Just in the way of always feeling a little different from everyone else.. once I took the Myers brigg test and found out I was INFJ everything matched so perfectly and made sense and offered a lot of insight into who I was and all of this intrigued me deeply. My entire point of signing up to this website was trying in an attempt to find people like me and try to relate and some level and find that connection to another person that I don't feel that I've ever really had. I feel at times I'm too serious and think too deeply and I can't stop the ever going mind of mine :( I live inside my head and it sucks. I have bad anxiety and maybe a little depression and I'm on antidepressants for this. I feel I have a lot of potential and without trying to sound like an arrogant asshole: Maybe even greatness underneath all of this. I knew from the beginning I was different bc I looked at the world different from everyone else. And I guess the best way to describe me is: "open minded skeptic". Lmao. By seriously. My life is complicated and I'm always in between a place of accepting myself and I wouldn't have it any other way and I hate myself. Idk at this point. If you've read this far I appreciate you greatly.
     
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  10. Gaze

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    Welcome! :m045: You're not alone, and will find many people here who feel the same as you. There's also a good amount of support and advice that people have learned from their experiences to help deal with the struggles everyone faces everyday. Hope you find hope, strength, and understanding to help you through your journey. :)
     
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  11. RunDeep

    RunDeep Regular Poster

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    Is it bad that in the past I have tried to convince myself I wasn't an INFP? I guess I couldn't quite come to terms with the confirmation that I didn't fit into society's "macho man's man" that my dad and brother are... It's been a couple years though and I've grown up a lot-- I'm now learning to love myself and my personality type. ;)
     
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  12. ElleG

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    Both J's and P's can be messy or organized, structured or unstructured. J and P in MBTi denotes whether your dominant judging function (F or T) is extroverted or introverted.

    If your dominant judging function goes inward (Fi or Ti), then you're a 'P'
    If your dominant judging function goes outward (Fe or Te), then you're a 'J'

    With that said, if you are a person who is often on the fence about their MBTi, it's better to take a test that measures your cognitive functions, which are the building blocks for MBTi. In my opinion, I think the MBTi test relies too heavily on people's interpretations of the questions asked, which can lead to mistyping. Also, MBTi was designed to be quantitative, it puts you on a scale, and the closer you are to center on those scales, the harder it is to type yourself based on MBTi.

    I'd start here:
    http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

    And here is a great article on J vs. P:
    http://psychologyjunkie.com/2015/09...standing-what-the-jp-preference-really-means/
     
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  13. ButterflyChaser

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    I kind of wonder if that may be my situation too. Upbringing having a lot to do with confusing my type and picking unlikely function stacking. I also have autism, which might be weakening one of my functions, (likely the Fe) while at the same time strengthening others (Ni and Ti)

    I haven't figured out my parents' type, but if I were to hazard a guess, I believe my mother is an INFP (caught in loops of Ni-Ti/ Ne-Fi/ Te-Si) to research, support, understand her personal beliefs, validate them, try to express them to others, then shy away and start the loop over again. We can talk on and on about her beliefs, past experiences, but if my beliefs differ, she will at first (kindly) then more assertively try to point me back in whatever perceived right direction. In her case towards conservative Christianism. So yeah brought up to be open and honest, but it had to align with her beliefs. If not, then it seemed like I was in the wrong and needed correcting.

    Father: Occasionally shares his emotions and thoughts, more so now that I am older vs when I was a child. When I lived with him, I kind of got stuck as the therapist for him and my mother to a degree. He was focused on helping me stay on task and get things done, but otherwise he still keeps to himself a lot and doesn't take much action. Whenever I visit the house I'm in for a major task of cleaning up and organizing. (which he couldn't care less about.)

    Younger sister: She types herself as an INFP, but as a child, growing up with her I saw clear extroverted, people pleasing traits. Reflecting back, I believe she displayed FeNi, (or NeTi) but I suspect upbringing and life events caused her to lose her extraverted traits and pick up perceiving traits.


    I'd say both parents I suspect are perceivers. My sister and I likely picked up perceiving traits from our parents, whether we really are one or not. Much of my childhood frustrations I remember was wanting my parents to do stuff. Take action. Get out of the house and do things. "If you said we are going to the park, then let's go!" and then grow annoyed when they changed their mind and stayed at home.
     
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  14. Ren

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    I relate to that. I'm pretty sure upbringing explains to a large extent why I can be a conflicted Fe user, though I'm really trying to work on engaging that function more. I think it makes me feel happier, ultimately. Still, I always score higher on Ni and Ti when I do functions tests.

    I see you changed your profile from INFP to INFJ :) are you now hesitating between T and F? You sound like an F to me.
     
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  15. ButterflyChaser

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    Yeah,I came to accept my function stack lines better with INFJ (regardless of the INFP results I got on past tests). I see myself very clearly in the INTJ too. For now I can live with being confused between INFJ/INTJ. (they line up closer than trying to make sense out of an INFP/INTP divide) I like the ability I have to think objectively, but again I can't continue it forever or my emotions come up like wild animals and bite me at unexpected times.

    I believe upbringing has a lot to do with it. As children, we adapt to please our parents, get positive affirmation. At the same time they are flawed, just like us grown up, so those hurts and slights, misunderstandings, as well as the good times help shape us to who we are.

    Anyways, my mother called and I had this discussion with her starting with asking her about her type. Turns out she's done rather extensive self analyzing about it well before I even popped the question. It was like "Wow it's about time we talk about that!" between both of us.
    Turns out she is an INFJ, but her upbringing (feeling and fears of being lost and misdirected self awareness, fears of having lost herself in such an extent to please others) led her to take on perceiving traits. More less her extraverted impression to me growing up was a rather unstable INFP. (too focused on self, introverting, but not enough extraverting Se going on.) Bringing that up to her, she reflectively agrees on that analysis.
    So I guess it is no surprise I see this happening with myself and find it neat and comforting in a way, but also frustrating. For my mom - her mental visual path to idealism is to get more grounded in her personal beliefs, understand her own emotions, personal beliefs. More less trying to strengthen Fi and Si.

    Me: Perhaps the opposite. I see flaws in myself dwelling in Fi, do it too much, but realize it is like indulging in rich chocolate. A little bit helps me understand myself, emotions and beliefs, but too much and I'm in pain, vomiting uncomfortable emotions, not understanding myself any more than I think I understand an outsider. So my focus is to try to move out of myself. Not saying this is happening at the moment, but it is something I ticked off in my mental to do list for growth.

    Result: I love my mother, enjoy the conversation, but see us at a disagreement right now at what is the best direction to go for self growth. (move out of oneself to focus on the bigger picture, or focus inside oneself to ground one's own personal beliefs and figure out moral standing.) (there really isn't a "better" or "right way vs. wrong way", just what helps personally for each individual).
     
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  16. zetturn

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    pppft, cognitive functions are pretty much confidence, any INFJ could archive confidence in ESTJ functions, but they're not as special and INFJ is the special snowflake, which is useless apart from throwing it at jerk's face.
     
  17. heartcore

    heartcore Regular Poster

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    Man, I've been through so much of grueling re-searches, layer peelings, disillusions, self-interrogations, blind experiments, etc for far too long and decided to give myself some breaks. In a molecular scale we may never know who we are, but at least if we have done our best within the mental and emotional capacity available and got the most probable result, we should at least trust it. I believe that mistakes can at least teach us to make them less next time. So keep learning, but don't be too hard on yourself if you've studied hard and yet mistyped yourself a few times.

    One thing I'm quite sure about is that if you feel like you 'want to be' something, or If you feel like you need to stretch yourself to be something, you're not it. What you are is often something much closer to home, something you may often find trite or boring, even (while others may think what you are is awesome and interesting, to your surprise). I believe it's in human nature to neglect what is too easy or available, and instead pursue what is more different and exciting. But actually the qualities that you find mundane and boring but come easy to you are most likely who you are (MBTI as your dominant function, and enneagram as your type). One of the quick and dirty trick is to read about each type's worst version. The one which makes your heart hurts and makes you want to cry, or makes you irrationally blue, it's likely to be your type. What hurts you the most is the deepest (hidden or unrecognized) version of you, I think that is why.
     
  18. the

    the Si master race.
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    Mmm wrong.
     
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  19. Rcs6r

    Rcs6r Must be the feeling~
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    Nyukka that post is ancient, from the old Horatio. Get with the times, man.
     
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  20. Wyote

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    What are your current thoughts about it?
     
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