are you emotionally expressive? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

are you emotionally expressive?

Akiko said:
I'm the same way. I grew up in a house where my parents tried to control they way I felt and wouldn't allow negative emotions, so I learned how to hide how I feel. This has made it very difficult for me to form close relationships with other people since I come across as "cold" and "distant". I've tried to be more open and vulnerable to form closer friendships, but the habit of hiding is so ingrained I almost physically can't. And I think you're right about Fe--since our Feeling function is outward focused, we concentrate more on other people's feelings. INFPs, with Fi, are generally better are expressing how they feel. But INFJs feel better when they can express themselves; not doing so can lead to feeling depressed or detached.
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I empathize with you on this. It is an extremely hard habit to break. I've read self help books and tried to be open with my emotions but it almost always comes out really awkwardly now when I try to express myself. Very unnatural. It's hard when it's burned into your brain. Agreed, it is very hard to form close relationships when you can't be open with anybody. Would have to erase years of being withholding in order to do that, try to remember how to do that. Maybe someday the dam will break and it'll all come spilling out, positive and negative haha
 
Aww man, I hope they didn't see that micro shred of emotion that tried to escape.
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Please tell me they didn't see that.
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No? Oh thank you... Hugs!!!
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It depends. I can look like an asshole went I want to and I can look really cute, sweet and nice when I want to. So I guess I am pretty expressive.
 
Framed said:
Funny you mention this because even if I'm fine or in a contented mood, people would sometimes think something was wrong. So, I had to learn to be more facially expressive just to prevent people from asking me if something is wrong with me. It was the oddest thing to deal with for a long time. I had to learn to "show" them I was happy to make them feel I was ok. Maybe it's the culture where I am, but if you don't have a perpetual smile on, people think you're upset.
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I get this when I'm in thinking mode, people start asking what's the matter, dunno maybe it's because the rest of the time I'm very expressive (at least around my friends), like [MENTION=6303]Jimmers[/MENTION] mentioned sometimes you have to adjust your expressiveness with certain people:sometimes the problem being people mistaking kindness for flirting, other times like you mentioned you have to make sure you're more expressive so you don't come off as insensitive or disinterested.
 
Elektra said:
I get this when I'm in thinking mode, people start asking what's the matter, dunno maybe it's because the rest of the time I'm very expressive (at least around my friends), like @Jimmers mentioned sometimes you have to adjust your expressiveness with certain people:sometimes the problem being people mistaking kindness for flirting, other times like you mentioned you have to make sure you're more expressive so you don't come off as insensitive or disinterested.
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Everything in moderation is a good philosophy to live by. Too much expressiveness can be overwhelming and too little can seem as if someone is not really trying. Yeah, sometimes adjusting expressiveness to fit different people or situations is necessary. However, I've also been on the other side where being nice or more expressive has people thinking I want something or need something. You can't control what people think. People find ways to interpret behavior in ways which fit their feelings or perceptions. No matter what the intention, people will read something into behavior especially if they don't understand. At the end of the day, you can't please everyone. Trying to adapt to everyone's expectations of how you should behave or act in every situation is not healthy. It's better to keep a balance.
 
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I don't show my emotions very much unless I am overwhelmed, grief and sadness I'll break down in tears.
 
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Framed said:
So, are you?

Is it easy to see your feelings on your face or are you good at hiding how you feel?


hey @rawr , can you move this thread to the Psychology & MBTI section? thx
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I am emotionally expressive toward people that I trust emotionally. Emotional trust occurs when two or more people can bond emotionally and allow the other to express without judgement and participate in the emotional expression. For example my mom is not emotionally expressive however she likes to express her repressed emotions through intellectual talking so I would adjust my expression according to it. I know better to open up emotionally to her on a level that I would personally desire but i know it is not possible with her and I just learn to accept it. It is important for me that the other person participates emotionally and that I am not the only one being emotionally expressive and the other person just listens without participation. Also the environment needs to be non threatening. We all know as children what it feels like to open up and express how we feel and get laughed at or misunderstood.

As far as body language goes I can look stone cold and distant if I wish to be or be openly expressive if I choose. Its really about developing outer masks to suit different situations and needs in the outer world. I enjoy being a chameleon because it is the practice of flexibility and adaptation with our changing environment.
 
Elektra said:
Someone said to me once you should never ask INTJs how they feel about anything, only what they think about it. haha What do you think about that? :tongue:
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You could ask me how I feel about something and get a legitimate response. But I might be a little more in tune with and expressive about emotion than your average INTJ. I think there's some merit to that approach.
 
Framed said:
Everything in moderation is a good philosophy to live by. Too much expressiveness can be overwhelming and too little can seem as if someone is not really trying. Yeah, sometimes adjusting expressiveness to fit different people or situations is necessary. However, I've also been on the other side where being nice or more expressive has people thinking I want something or need something. You can't control what people think. People find ways to interpret behavior in ways which fit their feelings or perceptions. No matter what the intention, people will read something into behavior especially if they don't understand. At the end of the day, you can't please everyone. Trying to adapt to everyone's expectations of how you should behave or act in every situation is not healthy. It's better to keep a balance.
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You hit the nail on the head with this one: my life long struggle for achieving balance: balance is something I strive for yet I have found its maybe the hardest to achieve, it doesn't come naturally at all (E4sx),the rest of what you wrote is close to my own conclusions on the matter. :smile:
 
I would say that I am emotionally expressive. I don't hide my feelings about some situations and am always willing to give my opinion. However, if you are talking about whether I allow someone close enough to share my feelings and commiserate with them or speak about them, not really. I keep people at arm's length and outside the bubble of my inner world. I don't allow many people to get close and if they perchance do something that makes me wary, I will push them away fast and not look back.

I think there is a lot of obnoxiousness about being "personally expressive" though and try to be better at working at group harmony. I don't think everyone should know if you are angry or impatient. It is much better to cultivate a more pleasant demeanor than to run around leaking emotions on everybody. So, while I project my emotional state at times, I try hard to stop that habit.
 
I'm a sentimental goob. The older I get, the more it shows.
 
Someone who I don't really know but who is friends with my boyfriend told me that the only emotions I show are anger and amusement. My boyfriend says I'm "stoic" my ex boyfriend said I was overly emotional. I don't know. I really try to keep it all concealed.
 
not particularly.
 
No. Except when I find something funny. It doesn't matter if I'm at a funeral, I'll still laugh. It has resulted in a few awkward moments.
 
Only with two specific people. Otherwise no. The only emotion I freely express is contempt. But then again that's usually the only emotion I'm feeling when I interact with people.
 
It's weird, I have a really hard time knowing how I feel, although lately I feel much more in tune with myself. My boyfriend says that he can read my face like a book- every emotion easily expressed in each grimace, smile, pensive stare into the distance, and look. Other people think that I am incredibly hard to read. Idk. Lately I wonder if I give myself away every time I feel disgust or disinterest? Hard to say. When I am at work I feel like I wear a mask of indifference.
 
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