[INFJ] Are People Good?

P

PandasaurusRex

One
MBTI
INFJ
This is my first time posting so it may be a little rough but bear with me. I was wondering how other INFJs feel about people in general and whether or not people are naturally good. This question comes about because when I was younger I used to think that everyone was, for the most part, good. I was always the one who believed that people tried their best to be decent people and that this trying was enough to mean they were good people.
Now that I've gotten older I've become far more cynical in my view of human beings and how our brains work. I hold the view that as humans we're stuck in this horrible point in our evolution. On one hand we're still greatly influenced by animal impulses and the need for survival. We used to have the common animal desire to preserve our species but now that we've reached this point of overpopulation, this isn't something we need to worry about. Instead this drive seems to have been transferred to our selfish desire to raise ourselves up above others. We want what we want and we're willing to ignore or hurt others to reach our goals.
On the other hand I feel like our social awareness and mental capacity is large enough that we SHOULD be able to understand how our actions have a negative effect on others. If you sat and thought it through for a little while it should be clear how you hurt someone or at least the fact that you potentially hurt them. Unfortunately I feel like most people choose not to exercise this part of their brains. There have been many moments in my life where people have knowingly betrayed my trust. They made conscious decisions that ended up hurting me and benefiting them and later claimed that they didn't think I would be hurt. Maybe I would have believed them before but now I feel like they do it because they assume with how passive I am that I would simple forgive them and back down. Instead it just showed me that no one can ever be fully trusted because we'll all act selfishly at the expense of others.
I've started honestly believing that most people are bad. This of course also applies to me. I know I act selfishly and sometimes choose not to help people when I should so I do consider myself to be a bad person. Thinking this way makes life and making new connections very difficult because I constantly struggle with wondering when someone will hurt me, what secret motive they have behind their actions or are they trying to take advantage of me as well as wondering why I can't be a better person. I was wondering if other INFJs found themselves thinking in similar ways or having a similar shift in perspective and opinion as they got older.
 
I think you are at a point, where you feel stuck and see no way out. I also see a lot of selfishness and self-centredness in people, not just irl. It is easy to lose faith in people, in humanity even, but I keep up hope that if even only I act unselfishly, it may have a positive effect on the people that I interact with.

As for your interactions with (I assume) toxic people, you need to stand up for yourself and your principles. I know it's hard, because most people don't listen to reasonable principles, but what are doorslams for :P? Try to regain your faith in humantiy, even if the individuals you meet aren't representing your view of it. Always believe that even if you are just one person, you have the power to make a change.
 
I don't think that people are inherently good or inherently bad. Good and bad are artificial categories, very binary. We can't apprehend the minds of others so we shouldn't judge. I think that if people could do better, they would do it. (Many do.)

Betrayal is a part of life. "Well, that was disappointing! What's next? I think I'll have a sleep in tomorrow before continuing on my adventures."

Maybe you can surround yourself with more things that inspire you, stories or works of people who have made efforts to contribute to humanity. What do you or anyone else stand to gain by you dwelling on doom and gloom, and loathing your human flaws? It's depressing and unproductive.

Forgiveness... acceptance... peace
 
I used to be somewhat naive when I was younger. However, after coming across several toxic people over the years, I realize that I should be more careful about who to trust. I think that many people seem selfish or superficial, but I think that if I would really get to know them I would see a different side, so I try not to judge people too much. I'm sure people who meet me for the first time think I'm too reserved and quiet, maybe even boring, but that's because I don't open up to complete strangers.
 
It's not that most people are bad, it's that there's no such thing as an absolute in terms of bad/good. Life and social interactions are way more complicated, and you'll only limit yourself by defining people by those absolutes. I guarantee you that you've unknowingly hurt people without being aware of it, and I don't have to know you to know that. It's the human condition. That may qualify you as a bad person, but I bet there's way more to you than that.

Edit: Who we hurt and how depends upon what we value, and it's entirely plausible that even the noblest individual's values may result in what may be interpreted as selfishness or being inconsiderate to someone who has differing values.
 
Last edited:
UlpvUOW.jpg
 
I couldn't label people as good or bad. I think all of us are just different expressions of a spectrum of behaviours and intentions. What I think is good or bad may be different than what someone else believes is good or bad. I can only interpret other people through my own filter. From my perspective there are behaviours I don't like and behaviours that I do. Whether they're good or bad, I don't know. It's usually about what suits me. I'm not objective enough to say anything about it otherwise.
 
We are good right up to the point that it doesn't interfere with our own desires. For some people these lines are more defined than others, some people desire more or different things.
 
People have base programing. For a majority that means survive and reproduce. Everything else is secondary to include being "good". But then, peoples idea of "good" is subjective anyway.
 
I agree with most that is already stated before me.

I don't know for sure if people are good or bad, although in some cases, for example, serial killers, I have the idea that those people are inherently bad.
For normal people, most of the time I think people are stupid. No matter how smart a person is, they can still make stupid decisions that hurt themselves and/or other people. They just do not think about the possibility of hurting others with that decision. Or they just do not care (and in that case I also think they are bad).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top