Another ISTP thread
- Thread starter myst
- Start date
First of all: "another ISTP thread"? - come one, we don't have enough! There seems to never be enough info about, or participation from, ISTPs online- little rebels!
ISTPs are awesome.
One of my bestest friends is an ISTP- and he is like the smartest person I know, and we get along GREAT. I only met him a few months ago, but we have become close very fast. We hang out about twice a week for like 12 hours straight just sitting on the couch, talking and watching movies all night, lol. (the weird thing is that the relationship between ISTP and INFJ has been described as "activity partners" - they hang out and do activities together and in the beginning find each other interesting but quickly become bored of each other - but I have found this untrue for the two of us. We have just become more and more comfortable with each other, and we still can talk for hours. But...we also are both very intelligent, and we are both unlike our types in certain ways...so yeah, maybe I can't generalize. hm)
ANYWHO:
He influences me to be more realistic, practical, scientific, non-judgmental, adventurous, to live in the here-and-now, and to stand up for myself.
It's wonderful!
I actually like how ISTPs praise so rarely- it makes it more special when they do. And I ADORE their ultra honesty- so appreciated. I love how ISTPs save their sensitive/caring/sweet side for important people- I think that is honorable, and it makes you feel even more wonderful when you earn the ability to be one of those trusted, important people. And, I find it ADORABLE when ISTPs start listing off data and facts about something. I can't really focus on what they are saying because I am trying not to laugh because it is so cute! t-hee
<3 ISTP <3
(my only complaints of ISTPs are their rigidity when it comes to their opinions, and their lack of consistency in feelings and in relationships. The lack of consistency brings out my paranoid, self-doubting side...which is no fun....but I've been using the experience to make myself STOP that! or trying to....)
ISTPs are awesome.
One of my bestest friends is an ISTP- and he is like the smartest person I know, and we get along GREAT. I only met him a few months ago, but we have become close very fast. We hang out about twice a week for like 12 hours straight just sitting on the couch, talking and watching movies all night, lol. (the weird thing is that the relationship between ISTP and INFJ has been described as "activity partners" - they hang out and do activities together and in the beginning find each other interesting but quickly become bored of each other - but I have found this untrue for the two of us. We have just become more and more comfortable with each other, and we still can talk for hours. But...we also are both very intelligent, and we are both unlike our types in certain ways...so yeah, maybe I can't generalize. hm)
ANYWHO:
He influences me to be more realistic, practical, scientific, non-judgmental, adventurous, to live in the here-and-now, and to stand up for myself.
It's wonderful!I actually like how ISTPs praise so rarely- it makes it more special when they do. And I ADORE their ultra honesty- so appreciated. I love how ISTPs save their sensitive/caring/sweet side for important people- I think that is honorable, and it makes you feel even more wonderful when you earn the ability to be one of those trusted, important people. And, I find it ADORABLE when ISTPs start listing off data and facts about something. I can't really focus on what they are saying because I am trying not to laugh because it is so cute! t-hee
<3 ISTP <3
(my only complaints of ISTPs are their rigidity when it comes to their opinions, and their lack of consistency in feelings and in relationships. The lack of consistency brings out my paranoid, self-doubting side...which is no fun....but I've been using the experience to make myself STOP that! or trying to....)
Oh cool, another post on here Wow, it is amazing how similar what you wrote is to my experience. Almost to a T. Well, the part about talking a lot is different with me and my ISTP though. I think he influences me with all of the same good qualities you listed, Crabby, and I have the same complaints. And I completely identify with this:
"I actually like how ISTPs praise so rarely- it makes it more special when they do. And I ADORE their ultra honesty- so appreciated. I love how ISTPs save their sensitive/caring/sweet side for important people- I think that is honorable, and it makes you feel even more wonderful when you earn the ability to be one of those trusted, important people. And, I find it ADORABLE when ISTPs start listing off data and facts about something. I can't really focus on what they are saying because I am trying not to laugh because it is so cute!" Well, I completely identify with it, except, being close to him makes the lack of positive feedback overwhelming sometimes. That's a difference between being friends and being in a relationship I guess.
Wow, it is amazing how similar what you wrote is to my experience. Almost to a T. Well, the part about talking a lot is different with me and my ISTP though. I think he influences me with all of the same good qualities you listed, Crabby, and I have the same complaints. And I completely identify with this:"I actually like how ISTPs praise so rarely- it makes it more special when they do. And I ADORE their ultra honesty- so appreciated. I love how ISTPs save their sensitive/caring/sweet side for important people- I think that is honorable, and it makes you feel even more wonderful when you earn the ability to be one of those trusted, important people. And, I find it ADORABLE when ISTPs start listing off data and facts about something. I can't really focus on what they are saying because I am trying not to laugh because it is so cute!" Well, I completely identify with it, except, being close to him makes the lack of positive feedback overwhelming sometimes. That's a difference between being friends and being in a relationship I guess.
Oh cool, another post on here
"I actually like how ISTPs praise so rarely- it makes it more special when they do. And I ADORE their ultra honesty- so appreciated. I love how ISTPs save their sensitive/caring/sweet side for important people- I think that is honorable, and it makes you feel even more wonderful when you earn the ability to be one of those trusted, important people. And, I find it ADORABLE when ISTPs start listing off data and facts about something. I can't really focus on what they are saying because I am trying not to laugh because it is so cute!" Well, I completely identify with it, except, being close to him makes the lack of positive feedback overwhelming sometimes. That's a difference between being friends and being in a relationship I guess.
No, I know what you mean about the lack of positive feedback being overwhelming at times. I hate how I don't know where I stand almost all the time with my ISTP-buddy. He is one of my closest friends, and usually when I am this close with someone I KNOW how they feel about me, and I can be comfortable. But with him it's a lot of guessing and not knowing where boundaries are or how he is feeling or what he is thinking. I try to remain calm and just not worry about it, but I am who I am, damn it! haha. I think if he and I were in a relationship I'd be fishing for compliments on impulse.
Yeah, not knowing what he's thinking or feeling about you is exactly it... he probably doesn't know what he's feeling, or even whether he's feeling anything, either... if he's like my bf. Just kinda knows he really likes talking to you and doesn't analyze it much. It's pretty cool you understand all the qualities in him...
hahaha. Yeah.
Well I've read that when ISTPs have feelings they are very STRONG ones, so if your bf is feeling something, he probably just doesn't know how to express it, since they rely on Thinking practically 100% of the time. Has he ever had one of those ISTP moments where they get such strong feelings and they don't know how to handle them so they express them in inappropriate ways? I know that can be a burst of anger, but I've wondered how that would come out if it were feelings of love for someone--it sounds humorous.
Also- my ISTP buddy has a super monotone, non-expressive voice, does your bf?
I'm not sure about the monotone voice... I'd describe it more as a consistently adamant, debating kind of voice... he talks very fast paced (slightly anxious I think) and sometimes is hard to understand because of it. He's very outgoing in groups and talks the same way with others as with me.
As far as the overwhelming feelings, yes, he had an uncontrolled crying outburst once, though not really inappropriate... I think I'll refrain from explaining too much private stuff here on the odd chance he ever decides to read this. He says he's learned to control his emotions more as he gets older and that he doesn't feel negative emotions (aagh- a little too much control methinks). I wouldn't say he did anything inappropriate as far as anger or love. Things were passionate at the beginning of our relationship, but not over the top. If you're hoping your buddy shows some feelings for you... I wish you the best !
As far as the overwhelming feelings, yes, he had an uncontrolled crying outburst once, though not really inappropriate... I think I'll refrain from explaining too much private stuff here on the odd chance he ever decides to read this. He says he's learned to control his emotions more as he gets older and that he doesn't feel negative emotions (aagh- a little too much control methinks). I wouldn't say he did anything inappropriate as far as anger or love. Things were passionate at the beginning of our relationship, but not over the top. If you're hoping your buddy shows some feelings for you... I wish you the best !
Hm. My buddy doesn't speak fast, but he is also very outgoing in groups and at parties (which is odd to me because he is SUCH an introvert).
I totally understand not wanting to share too much- I'm sorry if I was being pushy, I didn't mean to dig into your or his personal stuff.
I agree about the "too much control" thing, lol. I found for myself that the more controlled and "stronger" I tried to be on the outside, the weaker I became on the inside. It was only through allowing myself to be vulnerable and weak, that I grew real strength. (but enough about me!)
Well thank you for the well wishes....we'll see how things go. Pretty sure he's not interested. (which is too bad, cuz he's a freakin awesome person...and hot as hell......) hahaha
I've just read in more than one place that ISTPs have a tendency to express their love in inappropriate ways, and, well....maybe it's just me but the idea of someone, especially someone so stoic and logical, making a huge inappropriate romantic gesture just sounds too hilarious. lol.
oh well.
Hey Crabby, you weren't asking too much at all! You didn't ask me about that, it's just something that came to mind that I could have written about and then thought maybe I shouldn't. So no need to apologize!
Yeah, the outgoingness totally confused me for a while too. Now my boyfriend seems incredibly reserved when he's with individuals, but I didn't understand that for a long time since I got to know him mostly when we were in groups. It's cool that your buddy talks to you alone for long times.
I know what you mean about letting yourself be vulnerable giving you real strength... it's still happening with me after 2 years of dating... problem is, of course, you can't go around being vulnerable all the time, so i haven't figured that out. We end up arguing.
My boyfriend totally surprised me by very directly asking me if I was dating anyone, which I was at the time, pretty early when we were getting to know each other. Maybe that's almost inappropriate? I'm guessing your buddy is younger than my guy, since you're younger than me, so I wonder if he hasn't developed that skill of asking for a date yet. So maybe you will get your inappropriate-gesture- entertainment ;P Or maybe you want to help him along and ask him out yourself, just to practice that vulnerability thing?
I should probably say I'm still really unsure about my relationship (don't know if you've read any of my other threads about it). So, I'm encouraging you since it sounds like you're already sure it's what you want, but I have to be honest that I think ISTP relationships are pretty tough. You're young though, so I think you'll have fun, and you seem really perceptive, so I think you'll be okay whether it works in the longer run or not.
Yeah, the outgoingness totally confused me for a while too. Now my boyfriend seems incredibly reserved when he's with individuals, but I didn't understand that for a long time since I got to know him mostly when we were in groups. It's cool that your buddy talks to you alone for long times.
I know what you mean about letting yourself be vulnerable giving you real strength... it's still happening with me after 2 years of dating... problem is, of course, you can't go around being vulnerable all the time, so i haven't figured that out. We end up arguing.
My boyfriend totally surprised me by very directly asking me if I was dating anyone, which I was at the time, pretty early when we were getting to know each other. Maybe that's almost inappropriate? I'm guessing your buddy is younger than my guy, since you're younger than me, so I wonder if he hasn't developed that skill of asking for a date yet. So maybe you will get your inappropriate-gesture- entertainment ;P Or maybe you want to help him along and ask him out yourself, just to practice that vulnerability thing?
I should probably say I'm still really unsure about my relationship (don't know if you've read any of my other threads about it). So, I'm encouraging you since it sounds like you're already sure it's what you want, but I have to be honest that I think ISTP relationships are pretty tough. You're young though, so I think you'll have fun, and you seem really perceptive, so I think you'll be okay whether it works in the longer run or not.