I'm back after a hiatus. Needed time to readjust to the natural world. So I've been thinking of this recently and I haven't come to any conclusions yet. So I know the Enneagram deals with motivations for your actions yet the topical behaviours associated with them confuse me at times. In my case, I relate very strongly to some of the traits of Type 4 yet I feel like my primary motivation is very 1ish. I know it's not common for INFPs to be typed as 1, but when I first took the Enneagram test on Truity, I answered as honestly as possible without any prior knowledge of the Enneagram and I got Type 1. I thought it was relatively accurate. I just need help understanding this. Why I think I maybe Type 4:I tend to ruminate on my purpose and identity in this world. Not so much who I am at my core (I honestly don't know/understand that) but more in how I can justify my existence here.I'm in touch with my feelings particularly in generating feelings of heroism/triumph. I listen to the Halo OST in order to feel this.I usually question my actions/work based off my initial judgement of them from an internal value system (maybe a 1 trait??). I usually have to feel like what I'm doing matters in the grand scheme of things.I can be emotionally incontinent and have broken down emotionally before. Been very reactive and vengeful in the past.I can be sensitive to people's demeanor at work (can't stand it when people are frowning and being sour all the time).I have a hard time relating to most people with how I think and do things (though I suspect that's my Aspergers?).I want to be seen as worthy in the eyes of people I respect (like my BJJ instructor, after being singled out for coming in late).Why I think I maybe Type 1:I'm highly perfectionistic with high standards for myself and those around me. I have a hard time tolerating degeneracy.I strive to fulfill some kind of sacred duty/purpose. I try and justify my existence here by dedicating myself to a trade/vocation that is of value and can be of use to people (questioning whether this is a 4 trait or a 1 trait??).I question my identity (4s are known for having a strong sense of who they are?) and rather justify it through action than simply being.I can't make autonomous decisions unless the rules clearly state otherwise.I strive to be a moral, competent and reliable man despite my flaws and shortcomings.I've always seen things in black and white. When I was a hardcore Christian in my earlier days, I tried forcing my mother and friends to convert in order to save them from Hell.Love order and structure in my day (I don't always get that but when I do, it feels comforting and motivating).I constantly question whether what I said/did was the right thing. Very self critical.Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. What do you think I am? If there's anything you want to know in order to make a fairer assessment, ask and ye shall have it. For those whom initially knew me when I came here, I was under stress, so please don't base your judgements of me on first impressions.