age difference in a relationship
- Thread starter Morgain
- Start date
Half your age plus 6, if you are male.
Two thirds your age plus 6, if you are female.
If you are 28 and he's 38, no problem (38/2=19+6=25)
If you're 28 and he's 18, that wouldn't work (28/3=9~x2=18+6=24)
What's in a number?...
Will the person be able to be friends with those already in your life and vis-versa? Some couples have been successful life long and 20-30 years apart even.It's really up to them and the people already in ther're lives, as to whether it's a truly good thing. Two famous American couples come to mind for me: Harrison Ford/Callista Flockhard and Lauren Bacall/Humphrey Bogart.These couples are some very interesting people, I think. Their influence power and wealth, did/doe's seem to change the issues a bit for them. It's interesting to observe that even though were/are well off, I really don't believe they are primarily after rich love mates, nor seeking out those with extreme beauty/good looks.Thanks for posting this, Morgain. It's a pleasure to be able to respond to something close to my Heart.
Will the person be able to be friends with those already in your life and vis-versa? Some couples have been successful life long and 20-30 years apart even.It's really up to them and the people already in ther're lives, as to whether it's a truly good thing. Two famous American couples come to mind for me: Harrison Ford/Callista Flockhard and Lauren Bacall/Humphrey Bogart.These couples are some very interesting people, I think. Their influence power and wealth, did/doe's seem to change the issues a bit for them. It's interesting to observe that even though were/are well off, I really don't believe they are primarily after rich love mates, nor seeking out those with extreme beauty/good looks.Thanks for posting this, Morgain. It's a pleasure to be able to respond to something close to my Heart.
Last edited:
I'm 28 and he is 37. We play badminton together. He already knows one of my friends and they can talk very well together. Also other friends of mine have boyfriends off 33 years old. So I would say yes, I think he will get along with my friends. In fact you wouldn't say he is 37. When I first saw him I thought he was about 34-35 and I don't feel an age difference, we are in the same period in our lives.
[MENTION=1591]Morgain[/MENTION]
Age diiference of nine is no problem. Belive me...if you both are single and intersted, forget this topic!!!
Listen to me, really! What age difference??? life could be more complicated that just few stupid years
Age diiference of nine is no problem. Belive me...if you both are single and intersted, forget this topic!!!
Listen to me, really! What age difference??? life could be more complicated that just few stupid years
Well, there's the old "half your age plus seven" rule -- but I just take it on a case-by-case basis, really. I've seen more age disparity in my dating life than most people I know who, generally speaking, seem to have stayed within a 3 year age bracket (over or under). In my early 20's, I dated a woman in her early 40's and I'm currently talking to a girl who's more than ten years my junior. This also holds true in my friendships where the ages range from 18 to 75.
The reason for this, I believe, is that age is mostly incidental when you're wired like I am (and most INxx's probably are). I tend to care little about attributes that are contingent upon chronological age such as physical perfection, ability to sustain high energy activities, partying until 4am, overt familiarity with pop culture references, etc. For that matter, I have little regard for orthodox relationship trends set forth by Western culture. What I like has more to do with attributes like intelligence, how she interprets the world, what's going on inside of her mind -- things which are only very loosely tied to her age. I mean, a brilliant 21 or 41 year old female who is well-read is going to be far more attractive to me than a 31 year old female who has a nightly ritual of watching reality TV and passing out drunk.
The reason for this, I believe, is that age is mostly incidental when you're wired like I am (and most INxx's probably are). I tend to care little about attributes that are contingent upon chronological age such as physical perfection, ability to sustain high energy activities, partying until 4am, overt familiarity with pop culture references, etc. For that matter, I have little regard for orthodox relationship trends set forth by Western culture. What I like has more to do with attributes like intelligence, how she interprets the world, what's going on inside of her mind -- things which are only very loosely tied to her age. I mean, a brilliant 21 or 41 year old female who is well-read is going to be far more attractive to me than a 31 year old female who has a nightly ritual of watching reality TV and passing out drunk.
well my folks had twenty year gap and remained married for thirty five years. Though I find the older you get the more the easier the gaps are to jump. I follow a simple 2 up 2 down rule.
Last edited:
You play badminton together!
It's a love match, girl. Why did you even start this thread?
Do whatever you like. Life is too short to let arithmetic dissuade you.
P.S.: In case that seemed flippant, I think character is the overriding factor.
I would say that the heart wants what the heart wants and pays little attention to the details. I have not dated anyone more than 5 years off my age but I don't know that was done on purpose. Honestly, I would have more trouble with the idea of dating someone who was shorter than me.
Morgain?
Are you worried about what others might think of you for dating him?
Are you worried about some future physical issue?
Are you looking for excuses to not be with him?
NO?
Well...enjoy the time you have with him and see where this leads you.
Seriously.
I know couples where the woman is about 15 yrs older than the husband and they still love each other. And I know the other way around. They've been together for years and years and years.
The way I see it is this:
When there is a true, vulnerable love between people ....One heart sees another heart. Not the exterior body. Not the accomplishments and failures of the mind.
Relax.
Enjoy this.
Are you worried about what others might think of you for dating him?
Are you worried about some future physical issue?
Are you looking for excuses to not be with him?
NO?
Well...enjoy the time you have with him and see where this leads you.
Seriously.
I know couples where the woman is about 15 yrs older than the husband and they still love each other. And I know the other way around. They've been together for years and years and years.
The way I see it is this:
When there is a true, vulnerable love between people ....One heart sees another heart. Not the exterior body. Not the accomplishments and failures of the mind.
Relax.
Enjoy this.
it is not me having an issue. I always wanted a guy who is more mature than guys of my age. I don't see him as an old man with a green leave. You don't see much of an age difference physically or mentally. And non of the people I have spoken to (friends, family, colleagues) saw this as an issue. But he is really worried that he is too old for me. I don't know why he is. because of what others think? or that he is selling me short?
so that is why I'm asking. Is there a good reason why the age difference is too big? but I haven't heard a good one yet
.He probably had an image in his mind of what the person he wanted to be with would be like. You are different and it's taking some time for him to reconcile it. If it really is worth it to him then he'll be able to put the age difference behind him but until then he's probably just getting his own thoughts in order.
so that is why I'm asking. Is there a good reason why the age difference is too big? but I haven't heard a good one yet
Honey, belive me. Age issue is no issue at all.
I am specialist for affections with lot of issues...age difference would be refreshing for me.
So, keep playing that badminton!
It depends because the older you are the more of an age difference is ok in my eyes. As an example, when looking for a serious relationship at say, age 21, a difference of five years isn't bad but pushing it. At 30 having an age difference of seven years sounds fine. It's always good to ask yourself one question when dating a distinctly older or younger person: "What is it about this person that makes them undesirable to their peers?" Whatever you answer with (Which maybe you're telling yourself what you want to hear so consult with friends) you have to be ok with.
The elder sister (I almost always side with the non-aggressor in the relationship) fear I have for age differences is that often times one of the persons is predatory. The younger one is either after the older person
The elder sister (I almost always side with the non-aggressor in the relationship) fear I have for age differences is that often times one of the persons is predatory. The younger one is either after the older person
i have a raging crush on a 46 year old
oh, and to add to the thread: i really do think it depends on the people involved. i get along better with people way older than me. and whenever i'm checking on guys my age i feel like im robbing the craddle.
oh, and to add to the thread: i really do think it depends on the people involved. i get along better with people way older than me. and whenever i'm checking on guys my age i feel like im robbing the craddle.
Individual....
I've agonized over this one myself. Being over fifty, yet looking more like over thirty, I find myself attracting women who obviously want a boyfriend and are willing to present themselves as such. It's wonderfull and scarry too. Why? My Biggest fear is that of getting my heart involved and having my loved one's joy and desire for me ruined- by adverese emotional presure from friends, family, peers. Other than that, I believe it to be very important to find someone you find very interesting and they you, both on a continual trend (not just initial fascination). This will allow you to get to that place, in time, where you realize your roamntic partner to be other than just someone you can live with, but someone you can't live without..!.. I also am finding the specific person to be of much more importance than age or other issues.
I've agonized over this one myself. Being over fifty, yet looking more like over thirty, I find myself attracting women who obviously want a boyfriend and are willing to present themselves as such. It's wonderfull and scarry too. Why? My Biggest fear is that of getting my heart involved and having my loved one's joy and desire for me ruined- by adverese emotional presure from friends, family, peers. Other than that, I believe it to be very important to find someone you find very interesting and they you, both on a continual trend (not just initial fascination). This will allow you to get to that place, in time, where you realize your roamntic partner to be other than just someone you can live with, but someone you can't live without..!.. I also am finding the specific person to be of much more importance than age or other issues.