I spent 10 minutes trying to come up with a decent title for this tread before I got annoyed and went with something stupid.
Anyway, I had a discussion with an ex of mine last week . . . It was unpleasant, she was hostile, and in the end we established that she still hates me. But a couple zebra nuggets of truth came out of the discussion. Toward the end of our relationship (and by end, I mean the last two years of it) she went batshit crazy in attempts to make me love her again. She agrees her actions were incredibly stupid, however one of the underlying causes of it was something that made clear and obvious sense to me. . . but she thought I was an ass for doing.
She basically felt that as the relationship continued, I began to value the feelings of others increasingly more than hers. That as we continued the relationship, that I'd give greater priority to people I'd just met, than her. . . who I'd known for 6 years. This really hurt her, because she felt that I should be giving her more and more priority. But in my view, as the relationship went on, I saw her less of a target for my priority, but more of an accomplice in prioritizing others. (unfortunately she didn't want to be an accomplice)
It just struck deep with a continuing trend that I have that drives people away from me . . . the closer someone gets to me . . . the more I demand of them. They get less and less of the continual fluffy happy side of me, and get subjected to the annoying side of the shit I do to make people around me happy. . . and they wonder why I'm being so shitty to them and nice to someone else.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking that we're teaming up to be nice to someone else.
Just curious if this sounds familiar to anyone else. . . .
B
(personally, I feel it's a Fi/Fe thing . . . )
Anyway, I had a discussion with an ex of mine last week . . . It was unpleasant, she was hostile, and in the end we established that she still hates me. But a couple zebra nuggets of truth came out of the discussion. Toward the end of our relationship (and by end, I mean the last two years of it) she went batshit crazy in attempts to make me love her again. She agrees her actions were incredibly stupid, however one of the underlying causes of it was something that made clear and obvious sense to me. . . but she thought I was an ass for doing.
She basically felt that as the relationship continued, I began to value the feelings of others increasingly more than hers. That as we continued the relationship, that I'd give greater priority to people I'd just met, than her. . . who I'd known for 6 years. This really hurt her, because she felt that I should be giving her more and more priority. But in my view, as the relationship went on, I saw her less of a target for my priority, but more of an accomplice in prioritizing others. (unfortunately she didn't want to be an accomplice)
It just struck deep with a continuing trend that I have that drives people away from me . . . the closer someone gets to me . . . the more I demand of them. They get less and less of the continual fluffy happy side of me, and get subjected to the annoying side of the shit I do to make people around me happy. . . and they wonder why I'm being so shitty to them and nice to someone else.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking that we're teaming up to be nice to someone else.
Just curious if this sounds familiar to anyone else. . . .
B
(personally, I feel it's a Fi/Fe thing . . . )