Your perceptions/experiences of INTJ's | INFJ Forum

Your perceptions/experiences of INTJ's

Stealthjelly

Newbie
May 11, 2014
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INTJ
I know a few INFJ's, and I'm curious to know, of those of you who know an INTJ (or more than one), what your experiences are? What did you like? What didn't you like?

Also for those who don't know an INTJ, what's your impression of the type?
 
I have a very close friend who is an INTJ and I absolutely love her. She's an interesting complement to me- and I find her direct, no emotional BS to be awesome!

I've met other INTJs that had an awful ego and preachy demeanour- and we didn't get along!
 
I love INTJs. They are generally pleasant and well mannered. They also have no problem with the truth.
 
I love love love INTJs, I have had the pleasure of knowing one for almost nine years, and he is the most solid awesome person in my life. We understand each other in uncanny ways, with the occasional disagreement, but what I love most is that he always can pinpoint the logic of an argument and break it down so that it is understandable. He is like the ultimate debater (but not in an obnoxious way like some people who just go on and on for the sake of their ego, or purely just to be contrarian). He is also exceptionally good at explaining abstract concepts in a very approachable fashion. What I love most/value most are perhaps the skills that I lack. I greatly admire his communication abilities and the way that he sees things.

Of course, sometimes he also points out my lack of logic, and might sometimes be more distant than I'd like, but he is the one person in my life I always want around. Even when I might be upset, sometimes he might not respond the exact way I want him to, but at the end of the day, I always want to work through misunderstandings and the like because I always fundamentally appreciate him as a person. We don't always hang out every day, but I always look forward to our long talks and I always feel inspired and driven after I hang out with him. He always makes me want to be a better person. I know that he enjoys my company immensely too, and don't take his hermit-like lifestyle too personally, because I know that for him time is precious and that he wants to spend it as efficiently as possible.

That being said, I have met probably five other INTJs in my life-time. There is a great diversity and difference in the people who type as INTJs, and different people interact with them differently.

I have met INTJs with alcohol dependency, I have met very shy INTJs, depressed INTJs, very fashionable INTJs and INTJs who seem so removed from the pleasure principle that they appear very uptight. There is a great range from which I could draw my observations. With the INTJ I first mentioned, he is very sympathetic, and I think the longer together we are, the more I see sympathy come out in him, and understand how he views things, but that has taken a long time to understand him the way that I do now. Obviously regarding the other INTJs the more well-rounded and psychologically sound the person, the more likely I am to seek out/have a great relationship with them.

From first observations, INTJs usually are assertive, able to express their ideas succinctly and sometimes with flare (in a poetic sense) they come off as not exactly charismatic, but somewhat enigmatic and they tend to draw people in. My boyfriend for example always creates an impression on people, and people tend to be very impressed with him and to think highly of his intelligence after even brief meetings with him. That being said, he also has a hilarious sense of humor and can do very good impressions of people.

Other INTJs I have met might have been more withdrawn, but whatever the case, there was always this spark when I met them, where I felt that they were kindred spirits. It's funny because although INFJs and INFP/ENFP/ENFJ are supposed to get along quite well, I find that I have a much harder time maintaining healthy relationships with other idealists. I don't know if it's because I see aspects of myself reflected in them, or perhaps in the case of ENFP/INFP that there is just too much emotional stuff going on, but my relationships with those two types in particular are very hot and cold. Sometimes I might see them as kin and we will completely get each other, and sometimes they are like from a distant planet speaking a foreign language. Particularly with INFPs, although I feel like we usually have similar interests/goals, it's almost as if it is too hard for them to communicate with me directly, the few I have met seemed to live very deep lives, but seemed unable to connect with me on those levels.

With INTJs though, communication (for the most part) comes easily and naturally. INTJs seem to have that same depth that INFPs have, but where with the INFP I see the fluctuation of emotion constantly changing, with the INTJ I see this very direct process for dealing with particular subjects. When my boyfriend makes up his mind, he makes it up and it does not change unless given ample information. Other idealists can be very wishy-washy (I speak generally and do not intend to offend) but this logic towards making decisions is comforting to me. It gives me this sense of stability and this sense of comfort. For my boyfriend, if he has an issue with a friend, he has a resolve to work it out and extend the benefit of the doubt for years, if he feels that the other party is putting forth effort. Sometimes this behavior is perplexing to me, because I am much more likely to make up my mind about someone and act on those feelings, but being around him has taught me to be more patient.

In contrast with other rationals including ENTJ/INTP/ENTP, I find the ENTJs much more unforgiving (again no offense) and more likely to be emotionally hurtful, it's almost as if they are a little too Spartan about things. Occasionally I can have great abstract conversations with them, but mostly I find myself too sensitive for seeking out their company. Regarding INTP/ENTP they tend to be a bit pedantic, obtuse and flighty. I genuinely appreciate and admire the stability of the INTJs I know. I also greatly love the fact that they have a moral backbone and tend to be altruistic, and sometimes almost more idealistic than myself as an INFJ. They usually show their love through acts of service, and by trying to improve things, that can be misunderstood sometimes, but they are very sweet and caring at their core.
 
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I happen to know somebody, althought not as a close friend, who is a INTJ. He has qualities which I envy in him, like being no non-sense and direct, good chess player, somehow humble and honest, althought he also have a big ego on his smartness. Indeed you guys are very smart, you just leave no hope for anyone...
 
What to say about INTJs. We're gods amongst ants, obviously. Many INTJs look down upon other types, but I think that's misguided. We should pity them instead.

I have a very close friend who is an INTJ and I absolutely love her. She's an interesting complement to me- and I find her direct, no emotional BS to be awesome!

I've met other INTJs that had an awful ego and preachy demeanour- and we didn't get along!

No no, I'm male. And while I'm touched, I simply don't feel that way about you. One day you'll find someone, he'll be but a shadow of my greatness, but you'll be settle and be grateful just for knowing me.
 
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No no, I'm male. And while I'm touched, I simply don't feel that way about you. One day you'll find someone, he'll be but a shadow of my greatness, but you'll be settle and be grateful just for knowing me.

What's the point of living now?

HUH?

There is no point....

Goodbye world...and goodbye my dear dear [MENTION=5667]Jacobi[/MENTION] ... you are the only light in this cruel, dark, and cold world....

:m142:
 
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They are hard to live with - show few emotions - and know everything there is to know under the sun. :D
For an emotion feeling INFJ who uses their intuition AS knowing - this can be daunting to pair up with an INTJ.

I think they're magnificent at seeing the BIG picture and excel in the macro perspective on ALL subjects.
I rely on them for logical thought and grounding of myself when contemplating projects.

They should be co-leaders with INFJs at all levels of governance.
 
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They are hard to live with - show few emotions - and know everything there is to know under the sun. :D
For an emotion feeling INFJ who uses their intuition AS knowing - this can be daunting to pair up with an INTJ.

I think they're magnificent at seeing the BIG picture and excel in the macro perspective on ALL subjects.
I rely on them for logical thought and grounding of myself when contemplating projects.

They should be co-leaders with INFJs at all levels of governance.

Yeah they have lots of good stuff going for them...you just can't expect the ideal quota of hugs which for tactile, affectionate types can be tough!
 
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I dislike intjs on a level hard to describe.
 
rigidly cynical
judgmental of the intelligence of others
down-to-business problem solvers
self-interested goal oriented (but willing to form alliances) / sociopaths
 
Yeah they have lots of good stuff going for them...you just can't expect the ideal quota of hugs which for tactile, affectionate types can be tough!


:lol: hahahahaha.....yep. More like no hugs at all unless prompted. [wink]
 
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Wow, lots to reply to here.

I love love love INTJs, I have had the pleasure of knowing one for almost nine years, and he is the most solid awesome person in my life. We understand each other in uncanny ways, with the occasional disagreement, but what I love most is that he always can pinpoint the logic of an argument and break it down so that it is understandable. He is like the ultimate debater (but not in an obnoxious way like some people who just go on and on for the sake of their ego, or purely just to be contrarian). He is also exceptionally good at explaining abstract concepts in a very approachable fashion. What I love most/value most are perhaps the skills that I lack. I greatly admire his communication abilities and the way that he sees things.

Of course, sometimes he also points out my lack of logic, and might sometimes be more distant than I'd like, but he is the one person in my life I always want around. Even when I might be upset, sometimes he might not respond the exact way I want him to, but at the end of the day, I always want to work through misunderstandings and the like because I always fundamentally appreciate him as a person. We don't always hang out every day, but I always look forward to our long talks and I always feel inspired and driven after I hang out with him. He always makes me want to be a better person. I know that he enjoys my company immensely too, and don't take his hermit-like lifestyle too personally, because I know that for him time is precious and that he wants to spend it as efficiently as possible.

That being said, I have met probably five other INTJs in my life-time. There is a great diversity and difference in the people who type as INTJs, and different people interact with them differently.

I have met INTJs with alcohol dependency, I have met very shy INTJs, depressed INTJs, very fashionable INTJs and INTJs who seem so removed from the pleasure principle that they appear very uptight. There is a great range from which I could draw my observations. With the INTJ I first mentioned, he is very sympathetic, and I think the longer together we are, the more I see sympathy come out in him, and understand how he views things, but that has taken a long time to understand him the way that I do now. Obviously regarding the other INTJs the more well-rounded and psychologically sound the person, the more likely I am to seek out/have a great relationship with them.

From first observations, INTJs usually are assertive, able to express their ideas succinctly and sometimes with flare (in a poetic sense) they come off as not exactly charismatic, but somewhat enigmatic and they tend to draw people in. My boyfriend for example always creates an impression on people, and people tend to be very impressed with him and to think highly of his intelligence after even brief meetings with him. That being said, he also has a hilarious sense of humor and can do very good impressions of people.

Other INTJs I have met might have been more withdrawn, but whatever the case, there was always this spark when I met them, where I felt that they were kindred spirits. It's funny because although INFJs and INFP/ENFP/ENFJ are supposed to get along quite well, I find that I have a much harder time maintaining healthy relationships with other idealists. I don't know if it's because I see aspects of myself reflected in them, or perhaps in the case of ENFP/INFP that there is just too much emotional stuff going on, but my relationships with those two types in particular are very hot and cold. Sometimes I might see them as kin and we will completely get each other, and sometimes they are like from a distant planet speaking a foreign language. Particularly with INFPs, although I feel like we usually have similar interests/goals, it's almost as if it is too hard for them to communicate with me directly, the few I have met seemed to live very deep lives, but seemed unable to connect with me on those levels.

With INTJs though, communication (for the most part) comes easily and naturally. INTJs seem to have that same depth that INFPs have, but where with the INFP I see the fluctuation of emotion constantly changing, with the INTJ I see this very direct process for dealing with particular subjects. When my boyfriend makes up his mind, he makes it up and it does not change unless given ample information. Other idealists can be very wishy-washy (I speak generally and do not intend to offend) but this logic towards making decisions is comforting to me. It gives me this sense of stability and this sense of comfort. For my boyfriend, if he has an issue with a friend, he has a resolve to work it out and extend the benefit of the doubt for years, if he feels that the other party is putting forth effort. Sometimes this behavior is perplexing to me, because I am much more likely to make up my mind about someone and act on those feelings, but being around him has taught me to be more patient.

In contrast with other rationals including ENTJ/INTP/ENTP, I find the ENTJs much more unforgiving (again no offense) and more likely to be emotionally hurtful, it's almost as if they are a little too Spartan about things. Occasionally I can have great abstract conversations with them, but mostly I find myself too sensitive for seeking out their company. Regarding INTP/ENTP they tend to be a bit pedantic, obtuse and flighty. I genuinely appreciate and admire the stability of the INTJs I know. I also greatly love the fact that they have a moral backbone and tend to be altruistic, and sometimes almost more idealistic than myself as an INFJ. They usually show their love through acts of service, and by trying to improve things, that can be misunderstood sometimes, but they are very sweet and caring at their core.

It's awesome you get on with one so well. One of my best friends is an infj, and though we do argue sometimes (sometimes to the point where I get a headache), we always make up a while after. I'm actually a really poor debater in my own opinion, and unless someone is being quite clearly factually wrong, I find it hard to make another change their view. Though to be fair, my "debating partners" have been an infj (rigid in his own self-righteousness), an entp (my god they can be clever sods when they want to), and an istp (he knows the details I don't see).

INTJ's do come in a wide variety, as I'm sure all types do. Personally I'm not very fashionable (I wear what I consider smart casual clothes which are comfy, practical, and almost exclusively black, hahaha). I used to be quite shy til my istp friend took me out to the pub a few times (though I don't drink alcohol), and now I can do social interactions far more comfortably, just don't ask me to a party lol.

I have a very close friend who is an INTJ and I absolutely love her. She's an interesting complement to me- and I find her direct, no emotional BS to be awesome!

I've met other INTJs that had an awful ego and preachy demeanour- and we didn't get along!

I definitely find some intj's to be like that too. I generally prefer to be more chilled and actually dislike being drawn into arguments/debates for the sake of it. I know how some INTJ's can enjoy debate for sport, but personally I find it very draining and would rather do something more co-operative, or at least less abrasive.

They are hard to live with - show few emotions - and know everything there is to know under the sun. :D
For an emotion feeling INFJ who uses their intuition AS knowing - this can be daunting to pair up with an INTJ.

I think they're magnificent at seeing the BIG picture and excel in the macro perspective on ALL subjects.
I rely on them for logical thought and grounding of myself when contemplating projects.

They should be co-leaders with INFJs at all levels of governance.

Hahaha, we don't know EVERYTHING, though some INTJ's might like you to believe so. An INTJ is usually VERY knowledgeable about a very narrow focus of things, ask one about something which isn't their field and if they're being honest, they'll tell you they haven't got a clue most likely.

So, INFJ's consider what they feel to be what they know? Interesting, similar to how an INTJ considers what they think to be what they know.

I dislike intjs on a level hard to describe.

Interesting thing to say, from one whose MBTI says they may be one. Do you not like the INTJ's you've known, or just read about it and thought "Wow, they sound like horrible people!"

rigidly cynical
judgmental of the intelligence of others
down-to-business problem solvers
self-interested goal oriented (but willing to form alliances) / sociopaths

Admittedly I can be very cynical, though I think this is a life experience thing, I was the complete opposite before I became an adult.

Judgemental on another's intelligence? Yep, I can be that too, but I try to remember, intelligence comes in many forms. There are many things I'm not capable of, and therefore respect anyone who can do what I cannot.

Down-to-business problem solving... most definitely. Let's get to the heart of the issue, this is it, and this is how to fix it. That's my advice, take it or leave it, and if you leave it, don't come crying to me about it if it screws up.

Self-interested goal oriented (but willing to form alliances) / sociopaths... Hmm, a tough one... I know some INTJ's who really hate what they as being forced to socialise, or go out among the "mere mortals" or whatever the INTJ thinks of most people as, hehe. For myself, I do have some goals I am trying very hard to achieve, though I always consider the impact of my actions and decisions on others carefully, and avoid needless hurt/trouble/problems whenever possible.

Interesting stuff!
 
self-interested goal oriented (but willing to form alliances) / sociopaths
Did you just said "sociopaths"?
I can't imagine how you think. I just can't.
 
What to say about INTJs. We're gods amongst ants, obviously. Many INTJs look down upon other types, but I think that's misguided. We should pity them instead.



No no, I'm male. And while I'm touched, I simply don't feel that way about you. One day you'll find someone, he'll be but a shadow of my greatness, but you'll be settle and be grateful just for knowing me.

Lol!
 
[MENTION=11464]Stealthjelly[/MENTION] I was trying to be funny by implying that I dont like intjs I dont like myself. As a note I see others mention it here, I am not a big hug person though I do hug my nephew on occasion because he seems to need it.
 
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What's the point of living now?

HUH?

There is no point....

Goodbye world...and goodbye my dear dear [MENTION=5667]Jacobi[/MENTION] ... you are the only light in this cruel, dark, and cold world....

:m142:
Such a light that undoubtedly would leave you with very sore toes.
 
[MENTION=11464]Stealthjelly[/MENTION] I was trying to be funny by implying that I dont like intjs I dont like myself. As a note I see others mention it here, I am not a big hug person though I do hug my nephew on occasion because he seems to need it.

I was particularly confused by your previous statement, because I thought how could he hate INTJs yet identify as one. I suppose the beauty of sarcasm gets lost on here sometimes.
 
I was particularly confused by your previous statement, because I thought how could he hate INTJs yet identify as one. I suppose the beauty of sarcasm gets lost on here sometimes.
Yes forgetting the smileys doesnt always work out. :)