you are what you love, not what loves you | INFJ Forum

you are what you love, not what loves you

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Morgain, Nov 22, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 2 users.
More threads by Morgain
  1. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    from the film "Adaptation":


    I loved her
    Although she made fun of me
    I loved her
    it was mine that love
    i owned it
    even she hadn't the right to take that away from me
    I can love whomever I want to
    she tought I was patentic
    but that was her business not mine
    you are what you love
    not what loves you


    it striked me. I have spend my entire life wondering who loves me, what people think. But this guy turned it all around. Not what loves you is important but what you love. It doesn't matter what other people think or feel, I can't control that, I can't feel that. Even if they don't love you back, ore make fun of you, they can't take that feeling, the happiness of loving away from you

    any thoughts on that?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 Morgain, Nov 22, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2009
  2. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,519
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I went through something eerily similar to this. I absolutely hate the guy now. As they say, a fine line....
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    You know morgan, there is one thing, if you don't love yourself then you will not able to love others or things of the earth.

    Another thing itself says, Happiness inward to outward, it will survive from inner self, So there is no need to think about others, if they are loving us or no. They are not loving us, no problem, Stay on your road. You love those things for which you have feelings in your heart and you really want it.

    You will get hurt, when you go for outward to inner. You kept thinking about others, they are loving you or not. But now, you can change it, keep in to out. You will get whole world loving you. Sorry, i did not mean hurt you, just giving little support to understand it.

    This is more than about unconditional love, i think.
     
  4. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    Hate that guy, why? and what is the meaning of eerily??
     
  5. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,519
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Eerily is like scarily.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    Thankx, :D
     
  7. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    yes I totaly agree, It is not about unconditional love.
    Earliar when I feel something about someone, or just happines for something I did, and they didn't agree with what I did, or they didn't answered my love for them, my precious feeling went away, disappeared and I only felt stuppid for ever feeling that way.

    with "Happiness inward to outward" do you mean that you have to be happy on the inside first and than you can let it beam outward?

    you are right, you have to love yourself and others inside and that is the only think that matters. Not there love or not. Even if they love me, it will never help me love myself because there will always be someone who doesn't love me.

    it is a really difficult thing to do for me. After spending 26 years of my life going from outside to inside. It takes a 180 degree shift in my way of thinking to go from inside out...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Roger likes this.
  8. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    what is the meaning of scarily? :becky:
    (google translator doesn't know the word)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,519
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Oh, eerie is like scary. Sorry. :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -

    It is never too late, to learn or change anything. You have enough time to change. Don't feel sad for it, just don't repeat those mistakes which you made in past.

    I hope you are understanding what i am saying. :)
     
  11. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I completely understand what you are saying :becky:

    I meant that, really. Love yourself first, just be concerned about your thinking for others, never watch for outside. Remember, whatever you are feeling or watching outside, is your refection of your inner thoughts.

    you are so right. What I see on the outside is not what is really there, It is what I think is there.

    It is such a big shift
    and I have the feeling that this concept is slipping out of my hands
    and that tomorrow I'm focussed outside again
    But I'm really going to try to change my focus from outside to inside
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    You can transform your thinking. It will take time and your ability to be patient. You will make many mistakes and time will come you will start doubting on yourself.

    But i want to tell you that, just hang in there. Never give up. Try to change it slowly, let it grow. Don't force yourself. When time and your preparation, you will start experiencing its effect. Yes, it is long lasting.
    You will enjoy your life for everything you have.

    Have faith in yourself.
     
  13. Solar Empath

    Solar Empath Community Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    39
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    On the flip side, as an INFJ sometimes I hurt because I see everyone stuck inside their own shell and unable to connect or care because they are too afraid to reach outside of their walls. They can't see the walls of others because of their own.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    Disability to take any action. I can understand. It is not that easy thing to do. You have to think and then go for try to do it. Majority don't take any action, because they are focused on its result, instead of focusing on their action and thought.
     
  15. flux

    flux Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFPerplexed
    Love it. Have said it for years, even though I probably haven't believed it for every minute of my life since.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. Tamagochi

    Tamagochi Sushi Destroyer
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    922
    Likes Received:
    364
    Trophy Points:
    622
    Location:
    Lithuania
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    That's quite a discovery indeed :D I've learned that myself just a few years ago (at your age) from a children's book... I think I've felt it one way or another all the time, but seeing it embraced in such a simple sentence moved me.

    I can only expand that we can give our love freely to anyone we want without being loved firsthand. That's our privilege as human beings. We can make the first move and change the hearts of people. It is not fair to wait until someone loves us in order to give something back.

    BTW I just love Charlie Kaufman movies. My favorite is "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
     
  17. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,273
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,794
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    I completely get this. And it's a beautiful thing. There's a freedom that comes with it, that does not depend on whether or not they return the love. And as long as it respects their feelings as well.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #17 Gaze, Nov 22, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2009
  18. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    it is indead a freedom
    not having to wait untill your love is accepted
    not having to be affraid that your love is not received or unwanted!
    just love :becky:

    I just love what you all have been writing here
    I just love you all :becky:

    :kiss:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. the

    the Si master race.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Threads:
    479
    Messages:
    14,392
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,780
    Trophy Points:
    1,112
    MBTI:
    ISTJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    You are you, not what you love.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    218
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    You changed yourself, so quickly, that means you are a quick learner. :D

    Enjoy freedom of being here amongst INFJs. I am glad for you my friend. :)
     
Loading...

Share This Page