you are what you love, not what loves you | INFJ Forum

you are what you love, not what loves you

Morgain

Morgain

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from the film "Adaptation":


I loved her
Although she made fun of me
I loved her
it was mine that love
i owned it
even she hadn't the right to take that away from me
I can love whomever I want to
she tought I was patentic
but that was her business not mine
you are what you love
not what loves you

it striked me. I have spend my entire life wondering who loves me, what people think. But this guy turned it all around. Not what loves you is important but what you love. It doesn't matter what other people think or feel, I can't control that, I can't feel that. Even if they don't love you back, ore make fun of you, they can't take that feeling, the happiness of loving away from you

any thoughts on that?
 
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You know morgan, there is one thing, if you don't love yourself then you will not able to love others or things of the earth.

Another thing itself says, Happiness inward to outward, it will survive from inner self, So there is no need to think about others, if they are loving us or no. They are not loving us, no problem, Stay on your road. You love those things for which you have feelings in your heart and you really want it.

You will get hurt, when you go for outward to inner. You kept thinking about others, they are loving you or not. But now, you can change it, keep in to out. You will get whole world loving you. Sorry, i did not mean hurt you, just giving little support to understand it.

This is more than about unconditional love, i think.
 
Federer said:
You know morgan, there is one thing, if you don't love yourself then you will not able to love others or things of the earth.

Another thing itself says, Happiness inward to outward, it will survive from inner self, So there is no need to think about others, if they are loving us or no. They are not loving us, no problem, Stay on your road. You love those things for which you have feelings in your heart and you really want it.

You will get hurt, when you go for outward to inner. You kept thinking about others, they are loving you or not. But now, you can change it, keep in to out. You will get whole world loving you. Sorry, i did not mean hurt you, just giving little support to understand it.

This is more than about unconditional love, i think.
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yes I totaly agree, It is not about unconditional love.
Earliar when I feel something about someone, or just happines for something I did, and they didn't agree with what I did, or they didn't answered my love for them, my precious feeling went away, disappeared and I only felt stuppid for ever feeling that way.

with "Happiness inward to outward" do you mean that you have to be happy on the inside first and than you can let it beam outward?

you are right, you have to love yourself and others inside and that is the only think that matters. Not there love or not. Even if they love me, it will never help me love myself because there will always be someone who doesn't love me.

it is a really difficult thing to do for me. After spending 26 years of my life going from outside to inside. It takes a 180 degree shift in my way of thinking to go from inside out...
 
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Morgan said:
Earliar when I feel something about someone, or just happines for something I did, and they didn't agree with what I did, or they didn't answered my love for them, my precious feeling went away, disappeared and I only felt stuppid for ever feeling that way.

You got hurt because you kept high expectation from others.

with "Happiness inward to outward" do you mean that you have to be happy on the inside first and than you can let it beam outward?

I meant that, really. Love yourself first, just be concerned about your thinking for others, never watch for outside. Remember, whatever you are feeling or watching outside, is your refection of your inner thoughts.

it is a really difficult thing to do for me. After spending 26 years of my life going from outside to inside. It takes a 180 degree shift in my way of thinking to go from inside out...
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It is never too late, to learn or change anything. You have enough time to change. Don't feel sad for it, just don't repeat those mistakes which you made in past.

I hope you are understanding what i am saying. :)
 
Federer said:
It is never too late, to learn or change anything. You have enough time to change. Don't feel sad for it, just don't repeat those mistakes which you made in past.

I hope you are understanding what i am saying. :)
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I completely understand what you are saying :becky:

I meant that, really. Love yourself first, just be concerned about your thinking for others, never watch for outside. Remember, whatever you are feeling or watching outside, is your refection of your inner thoughts.

you are so right. What I see on the outside is not what is really there, It is what I think is there.

It is such a big shift
and I have the feeling that this concept is slipping out of my hands
and that tomorrow I'm focussed outside again
But I'm really going to try to change my focus from outside to inside
 
You can transform your thinking. It will take time and your ability to be patient. You will make many mistakes and time will come you will start doubting on yourself.

But i want to tell you that, just hang in there. Never give up. Try to change it slowly, let it grow. Don't force yourself. When time and your preparation, you will start experiencing its effect. Yes, it is long lasting.
You will enjoy your life for everything you have.

Have faith in yourself.
 
On the flip side, as an INFJ sometimes I hurt because I see everyone stuck inside their own shell and unable to connect or care because they are too afraid to reach outside of their walls. They can't see the walls of others because of their own.
 
Solar Empath said:
On the flip side, as an INFJ sometimes I hurt because I see everyone stuck inside their own shell and unable to connect or care because they are too afraid to reach outside of their walls. They can't see the walls of others because of their own.
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Disability to take any action. I can understand. It is not that easy thing to do. You have to think and then go for try to do it. Majority don't take any action, because they are focused on its result, instead of focusing on their action and thought.
 
Love it. Have said it for years, even though I probably haven't believed it for every minute of my life since.
 
That's quite a discovery indeed :D I've learned that myself just a few years ago (at your age) from a children's book... I think I've felt it one way or another all the time, but seeing it embraced in such a simple sentence moved me.

I can only expand that we can give our love freely to anyone we want without being loved firsthand. That's our privilege as human beings. We can make the first move and change the hearts of people. It is not fair to wait until someone loves us in order to give something back.

BTW I just love Charlie Kaufman movies. My favorite is "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
 
Morgan said:
from the film "Adaptation":


I loved her
Although she made fun of me
I loved her
it was mine that love
i owned it
even she hadn't the right to take that away from me
I can love whomever I want to
she tought I was patentic
but that was her business not mine
you are what you love
not what loves you

it striked me. I have spend my entire life wondering who loves me, what people think. But this guy turned it all around. Not what loves you is important but what you love. It doesn't matter what other people think or feel, I can't control that, I can't feel that. Even if they don't love you back, or make fun of you, they can't take that feeling, the happiness of loving away from you.

any thoughts on that?
Click to expand...

I completely get this. And it's a beautiful thing. There's a freedom that comes with it, that does not depend on whether or not they return the love. And as long as it respects their feelings as well.
 
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it is indead a freedom
not having to wait untill your love is accepted
not having to be affraid that your love is not received or unwanted!
just love :becky:

I just love what you all have been writing here
I just love you all :becky:

:kiss:
 
You are you, not what you love.
 
Morgan said:
it is indead a freedom
not having to wait untill your love is accepted
not having to be affraid that your love is not received or unwanted!
just love :becky:

I just love what you all have been writing here
I just love you all :becky:

:kiss:
Click to expand...

You changed yourself, so quickly, that means you are a quick learner. :D

Enjoy freedom of being here amongst INFJs. I am glad for you my friend. :)
 
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