Writing your own marriage vows. | INFJ Forum

Writing your own marriage vows.

S

Shai Gar

A vow is an oath. It's a statement of what you're swearing to give the other person.
I've been to a few weddings where people have "Written their own vows", and they're invariably the persons subjective definition of what love means to them. They don't promise anything.

This thread, is about writing your own vows. Actual vows.
I'd write more now, but I've got to shower and then go check out rock climbing facilities. (didn't want to lose the thread idea)

Write what you'd promise the other person, so, what are your vows?
 
Writing own vows? I don't know, people can become too banal and sugarish in moments like that. I don't want to be sugarish in such moments, so I wouldn't write my own vows, traditional words for curch wedding will be enough.
Besides, own vows have to be personal, I don't like to be very personal in front of many people.
If I will get married to someone, than my all life with him has to be vow.
You aksed what I would promise.
I would promise that I will try to get over little things that could complicate our lives.
 
I can't imagine saying what I would do to a crowd of friends, family, and in-laws, and saying it to my bride would be difficult enough.

Why? Emotions go in; they don't come out.

I'd say it to my fiancee though.
 
1. I swear to provide sexual gratification in a missionary or cowgirl position any time you desire it.
2. I swear to protect you any time you ask for protection.
3. I swear to respect your library, and not treat your books as mine.
4. I swear never to ask for a separation or divorce on the basis of ill health or finances, or for reasons I had prior knowledge of and could have stopped.
5. I swear to provide intellectual stimulation, and emotional gratification, on the basis that you talk over what your needs are so I can better provide for you.

I can't think of better vows at the moment.
 
For Her
I promise to put out at your greatest times of need; after work, when your soccer team loses, when your soccer team wins, after you have worked out, after you have been demoted, after you have been promoted, after I have fed you, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and at any point in the middle of the night.
I promise to provide a hot meal that tastes amazing every meal time unless you should say otherwise. On the weekends I will serve these meals naked.
I promise to understand my place is at home; mainly the kitchen and the bedroom. You will always come home to a clean house.
I promise to serve and obey you in any additional ways.
I promise to understand and agree that these vows can be amended by you at any point to add any additional duties you have for me in the future.

For Him
I promise to love and enjoy the rest of my life with you and provide for you financially.
 
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I've been with my husband 20 years, married most of that time. We did not write our own vows (due to the fact that we are not writers, and we understood each other quite well enough without having the spoken vows.)

I'll add a few suggestions as the voice of experience.

1. I promise to man it out during childbirth and not pass out or otherwise behave like a schoolgirl.
2. I promise that despite the many, many outside obligations we both shall inevitably have, I will make my home with you, and remember that we have made a family together, and that we are a team.
3. I promise to honor your sleeping patterns, and not force you to become a night/morning person against your wish*.

*Unless there is a colicky baby in the picture, in which case I promise to help you get the sleep you need. Applies to both partners.

Maybe I will think of more later, but those are three that definitely should be included, from my experience! At least if you plan to have children.
 
I plan to adopt. Too many children are without parents, and the world is too overpopulated to bring in more. Why add to the oxygen suckers and carbon pumps on the planet when you could give an existing one a home?
 
Mine is for him and her:
- All of our possesions, including income, cars, apartment payments, will be kept seperate
- I gurantee to help you learn english as a new immigrant to America
- Once we've been married a year and you've been granted your green card these bonds will be terminated
-I'll leave you alone if you leave me alone. And if you don't leave me alone, it's possible that the bonds will be terminated prematurely. So please, leave me alone.
- We'll go on several roadtrips to various places. I like traveling.
- No romance is involved in this agreement, there will be no acts of intimacy and no children produced/adopted etc from this bond. It's temporary and will last no longer then it takes for a green card to be acheived.

-end-
 
That's the only reason I would get married. There was another reason but I forgot what it was.
 
Oh no, now I remember. It was being a gold digger.
 
Lol, I see. I suppose it is how much stock you put into what it means. I am also getting the feeling you have absolutely no faith in 'love'... and why should you... it is just a word at the end of the day.
 
slant said:
Mine is for him and her:
- All of our possesions, including income, cars, apartment payments, will be kept seperate
- I gurantee to help you learn english as a new immigrant to America
- Once we've been married a year and you've been granted your green card these bonds will be terminated
-I'll leave you alone if you leave me alone. And if you don't leave me alone, it's possible that the bonds will be terminated prematurely. So please, leave me alone.
- We'll go on several roadtrips to various places. I like traveling.
- No romance is involved in this agreement, there will be no acts of intimacy and no children produced/adopted etc from this bond. It's temporary and will last no longer then it takes for a green card to be acheived.

-end-
Click to expand...


In all honesty that doesnt sound too bad. The roadtrips sound soo fun!!! I love travelling too. But most of all I think it shows a true kindness that you would help a foreigner pass the gateway to the land of opportunities and freedom. Bless you!
 
I though it was well known fact on the forums that I don't believe in love...?

o_O
 
Alright.
 
Uh, myself?
 
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