Would you rather have an introverted or extroverted partner?
- Thread starter IrenaShav
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introvert. the whole tip of the iceberg quality to their characters is very intriguing. I love that I can share something, some idea or thought or feeling with them and know they'll really listen to it, that they'll take it in and absorb it. it's just cool. I feel like I have something to share with introverts. With extroverts, a lot of the time it's just about them and their desires, or on the flip side it's all about what I want. It doesn't feel balanced, somehow. I enjoy extroverts -in small doses-, but most of my long term relationships have been with introverts.
I put that I don't have a preference. Whomever I allow feelings to develop for, they are whomever they are. Doesn't matter what type they are. Type shouldn't even be a deciding factor in your relationship decision making process.
And I don't believe in this "change for me" stuff unless it has intrinsic value for them, and them only. That's not who they are and I expect them to stay true to that. Even if it means I'm not in the picture, because they deserve someone who'd accept them as a romantic partner. If I don't, that's due to low common interests (I need someone who will happily drown in deep intellectual discussions) or mismatch of values/life goals. But if things line up and this person happens to be an ADHD, party-animal ENFP, so be it. If they happen to be a reclusive ISTP, with a side of cynic and a "bad" streak...so be it. Typology is all about understanding anyway, even if it's only a simple understanding that they are different from you.
And I don't believe in this "change for me" stuff unless it has intrinsic value for them, and them only. That's not who they are and I expect them to stay true to that. Even if it means I'm not in the picture, because they deserve someone who'd accept them as a romantic partner. If I don't, that's due to low common interests (I need someone who will happily drown in deep intellectual discussions) or mismatch of values/life goals. But if things line up and this person happens to be an ADHD, party-animal ENFP, so be it. If they happen to be a reclusive ISTP, with a side of cynic and a "bad" streak...so be it. Typology is all about understanding anyway, even if it's only a simple understanding that they are different from you.
I'm always more attracted to introverts (in the generic and non-Jungian sense) lol. Mysterious and quiet, and talking to them makes me feel like I'm prying apart their social virginity.
I sort of like to talk and to inquire as I please, and I like to be with my thoughts in silence the remainder of the time, so I like someone who can like and understand silence at least to some degree. I'm pretty particular actually. Too much talking, and I'll think the person is too self-centered, and be left waiting for them to shut up and looking for an excuse to leave. Too little talking, and I'll think the person isn't interested in me and/or is boring or socially retarded. Is that selfish? Idk.
I sort of like to talk and to inquire as I please, and I like to be with my thoughts in silence the remainder of the time, so I like someone who can like and understand silence at least to some degree. I'm pretty particular actually. Too much talking, and I'll think the person is too self-centered, and be left waiting for them to shut up and looking for an excuse to leave. Too little talking, and I'll think the person isn't interested in me and/or is boring or socially retarded. Is that selfish? Idk.
ambivert? I like the energy, and adventurous nature of the extrovert along with their enthusiasm. They can also bring me out of my shell but still respect that introverted aspect of me. I like that introverts are private and protective of their inner world and will only share it with a few people.
It depends for me. Naturaly, being an introvert, i'm attracted to extroverts. ha ha I remember when I first "fall in love" ( almost ): it was an extroverted girl, a very extroverted one. I was looking at her and literaly absorbing everything what she was doing: her playfulness, outgoingness, and also her openess to almost everyone.
But, on the other hand, many extroverts tend to be very shallow, and in a strong relationship, there is not place for something like that. Hoewer, I've met many extroverts who are very serious people, in the sense that they search for meaning in life, they take a relationship very seriously, they are responsible, they understand what it means to enter into a relationship. Those are some basics values that I expect from a extroverted girl. If she's a child that wants to have fun all the time, or party or something like that, that's not for me, at all.
Introverts are ok for me if they've got some social skills developed. I met some introverted girls wich were very attractive.
Regardless of what I just said, I thing typology isn't a deciding factor.It is really the person !
But, on the other hand, many extroverts tend to be very shallow, and in a strong relationship, there is not place for something like that. Hoewer, I've met many extroverts who are very serious people, in the sense that they search for meaning in life, they take a relationship very seriously, they are responsible, they understand what it means to enter into a relationship. Those are some basics values that I expect from a extroverted girl. If she's a child that wants to have fun all the time, or party or something like that, that's not for me, at all.
Introverts are ok for me if they've got some social skills developed. I met some introverted girls wich were very attractive.
Regardless of what I just said, I thing typology isn't a deciding factor.It is really the person !
I was in a committed relationship with an extrovert once. He could not understand what I meant when I said that human-interaction is mentally-exhausting. I do not know if this was because he was clingy, or what, but he did not understand what I meant by “alone time”. He also did not understand what I meant when I said I prefer to be the listener, not the talker. It was exhausting to be with him, but I could not bring myself to break-up with him for the longest time. I guess it was because of the empathy that so many INFJs possess. I knew that he liked to spend time with me, so I would bend-over-backwards to make him as happy as possible. There are a few things that I prefer in an extroverted person rather than introverted. For instance, I rarely initiate conversation; extroverts usually have no problem doing that. On the other hand, their idea of fun is not my idea of fun. I greatly dislike going to parties and going to social events; this is also because I am shy as well as introverted. I could deal with a laid-back extrovert, or an extrovert who understands my introversion and is okay with it. Introverts would probably have more in common with me and I believe they tend to be deeper, more mindful. Plus, it makes things more intimate and personal when they open up to you. You will know that they aren't opening up to everyone, that they trust you.
An extroverted partner would not only take too much energy from me, but would also require me at times where I need a bit of space. It also depends on the following typology. I think an IS would be far more energy-sapping and cause more arguments than an IN. I'm generalizing though, as we all are in this thread, by definition.
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Deleted member 10171
I'm an introvert and married to an introvert and I wouldn't have it any other way. We're a good match in that I'm the extroverted one in the relationship so generally the one being invited to some "do" or other and I'm also the keeper of the diary. However because we are both introverts I'm very sensitive and respectful in ensuring we both have our own space and time (apart and together) so I/we have no hesitation in declining an invitation (particularly if it means being out consecutively for 3 nights in a row every weekend etc).
Trying to balance our energy levels depends very much on the type of interaction/function/social event we're attending. So if it's a good party (ie buzzing and colourful atmosphere and generally always accompanied by loud music, food and interesting people) then I can get quite excited and energised. I feel very comfortable meeting new people, initiating conversations (I'm in bubbly mode etc) and hubby is happy to tag along.
If it's a formal event (particularly when it involves nothing more than just mingling) then hubby takes the lead as he's much more skilled at holding conservative conversations (I call it surface level pleasantries) while I smile and yawn inside until someone comes along and perks me up and then I'm away!
I’m very conscious of my energy levels so the constant need to feed an extrovert would just throw my equilibrium out the window!
Trying to balance our energy levels depends very much on the type of interaction/function/social event we're attending. So if it's a good party (ie buzzing and colourful atmosphere and generally always accompanied by loud music, food and interesting people) then I can get quite excited and energised. I feel very comfortable meeting new people, initiating conversations (I'm in bubbly mode etc) and hubby is happy to tag along.
If it's a formal event (particularly when it involves nothing more than just mingling) then hubby takes the lead as he's much more skilled at holding conservative conversations (I call it surface level pleasantries) while I smile and yawn inside until someone comes along and perks me up and then I'm away!
I’m very conscious of my energy levels so the constant need to feed an extrovert would just throw my equilibrium out the window!
Whilst I find extroverts amazing in their own right, I do gravitate more towards other introverts when it comes to seeking a partner.
The reason is simply because I need my own space to some degree, I also feel more at ease when I am with people who are fine with slow conversations and don't look at me like they expect a record speed answer.
Somehow I feel like a fellow introvert would be more understanding in these aspects. Especially now that people seem to label introversion as a bad thing.
The reason is simply because I need my own space to some degree, I also feel more at ease when I am with people who are fine with slow conversations and don't look at me like they expect a record speed answer.
Somehow I feel like a fellow introvert would be more understanding in these aspects. Especially now that people seem to label introversion as a bad thing.
I've been in relationships with both introverts and extroverts. Both have their advantages. However, lately I've found myself more inclined to prefer to be in a relationship with an introvert.