Would you rather have an introverted or extroverted partner? | INFJ Forum

Would you rather have an introverted or extroverted partner?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by IrenaShav, Mar 7, 2012.

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  1. Extroverted

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  2. Introverted

    14 vote(s)
    42.4%
  3. It Depends

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  4. I Don't Have A Preference

    9 vote(s)
    27.3%
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  1. IrenaShav

    IrenaShav Regular Poster

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    For those of you who prefer having an introverted/extroverted partner: I want to know if you're more of the extroverted or introverted type, and which type of partner, introverted or extroverted, you think would suit you best for a long-term relationship and why? And would you like them to be slightly, significantly or extremely extroverted/introverted?



    For example, I'm slightly more introverted than extroverted, and my partner would ideally be slightly more extroverted than introverted. I need someone who could easily initiate a conversation about any topic, even the unpleasant ones, and be very open and straight-forward about expressing their emotions, since those are my weaknesses. However I wouldn't want an extremely extroverted partner, cause they'd drain me. An introverted partner wouldn't suit me because I am introverted, and with two introverts, sometimes there would just be silence instead of discussing important issues.
     
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  2. technics

    On Holiday

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    I'm right in the middle of introversion-extroversion and I like "significantly" extroverted women. I definitely don't like introverted women, not even slightly. The same goes for extremely extroverted women.
     
  3. This

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    I'm introverted, an ideal partner would be introverted because I'm not sure an extroverted partner would understand the extraordinary amount of time I need to spend alone.
     
  4. technics

    On Holiday

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    Wouldn't that be a strange relationship? I mean the two of you by their own. I can imagine your partner having thoughts that you both aren't in a relationship at all.
     
  5. This

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    That's exactly the kind of relationship I'd want, two independent partners. It's an awfully hard thing to find. Most people seem to be codependent.
     
  6. Quiet

    Quiet i know nothing

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    I really dont think it would matter. Certain types seem more intriguing and more compatible to me, but I dont think that the extroversion/introversion scale would have a great effect. Its more about how developed and grounded they are as a person, and how compatible we are as people. A very extroverted partner would only become problematic for me if they demanded too much attention. But introverts can be very needy as well.

    I think I hear what youre saying though- youre looking to create balance and harmony by matching strengths and weaknesses. This is definately important.
     
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  7. detectivepope

    detectivepope Permanent Fixture

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    extroverted, I want contrast, not me again....
     
  8. Sriracha

    Sriracha Not here.
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    Most definitely introverted. [MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION] +1
     
  9. Gaze

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    This^^^ is me. I am more introverted than extroverted except in one-on-one situations. I don't mind talkign about feelings or issues openly but it's how open the person is which determines how comfortable I feel. I don't think it could work with someone who is too introverted. I want someone who I can talk with about any and everything. I'd prefer my partner to be more extroverted than I am but not overly so. That would be draining. I appreciate my space but I also need to have time with my partner of course. I don't want to be with my partner all the time. Everyone is entitled to their space but I don't think it would work with someone who wants a ton of space all the time.

    In any case, I wouldn't want someone who is just like me.
     
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  10. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I could go either way really because both have their own benefits, but I would say extroverted I suppose as a preference simply because I usually mirror the energy of the people around me and I have a love for high energy even though it exhausts me, I try to exercise my social muscles like that. So its usually beneficial for me to be with someone who is a bit more extroverted.
     
  11. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I'm an introvert and my partner is an introvert. I like it this way, and I couldn't imagine it any other way. We both are very confident and social, but we default back to our introverted tendencies when life gets overwhelming, and it's refreshing to know that I'm with someone who understands that need just as well as I do. We have absolutely no trouble communicating, and I think it's a fallacy to assume that because someone is introverted that they have difficulty starting "hard" conversations. I think the ability to do that is something you build in a relationship, and not something that just comes naturally to extroverts.
     
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  12. jimtaylor

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    I am just going to go the route of being a polygamist and have both. It makes it so much simpler that way. Then I am not forced with deciding. :p haha jk
    Honestly, I don’t know. It depends on the person.
     
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  13. #@&5&49

    #@&5&49 Well-known member

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    Another interesting question. Most if not all of my intimate relationships have been with extroverts. Perhaps because they are the ones who initiate the conversations!

    I was just recently telling a dear friend of many years about this forum. I said "in a nutshell, it seems to be for and about introverted people". His reply was, "you mean there are other people on the forum". I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants.

    Back to the initial question. Sorry, some of these topics are so fascinating and spur so many other thoughts I have a tendency to mentally wander and forget the actual topic at hand. What was the question? Oh yes, introverted or extroverted partner. I would have to say extroverted with introverted tendencies. This way I can have my time alone and they can have their time with the masses, then we can come back together and share our similarities and differences. Someone too much like me would be like having a palette with only one color. I may not always understand the other colors, but they certainly make painting much more fun, interesting, and challenging.
     
  14. Gaze

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    This is the issue I have with a partner with high introversion. I've had too many experiences where I was always the one initiating interest or the conversation. Or even with friends, I had the bad luck of having to be the one who initiates going places. It's kinda disappointing after a while because you feel as if you're the only one making any effort. This is why I'd want someone who is more extroverted than I am. I want someone who will initiate things but doesn't over do. I won't expect them to always initiate. I don't mind sharing the responsibility just as long as I'm not doing all the initiating.
     
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    #14 Gaze, Mar 8, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2012
  15. JGirl

    JGirl no chocolate flavored gum? wow

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    my partner is an extrovert. i am introverted. he doesn't seem to mind taking center stage and i don't mind letting him - gets me off the hook lol
     
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  16. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    This exactly,except replace partner with best friend. I would like the same of a partner though.
     
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  17. #@&5&49

    #@&5&49 Well-known member

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    Hmm, I never looked at it like that. Actually I never even thought about it before. I'll have to ask the folks close to me if they feel that way.
     
  18. Lerxst

    Lerxst Well-known member

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    I have to plead the 5th.... although I can think of pros and cons to each.
     
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  19. Cryo Soul

    Cryo Soul Regular Poster

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    It depends. I think being outgoing is fine, but I know for myself that too much time on the "outside" is draining in the extreme to me, and having to maintain focus, on what is explicitly said vs. inferring what is implicitly said can be agrevating...most of the time, anything that leaves nothing to imagination is boring to me....any conversation/concept that is less than "3D" is boring to me....if you can't take it and look at it from many sides conceptually, it bores me...a succinct answer isn't always the best one....perhaps it's the easiest to fit into perception, but MUCH less fulfilling...
     
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  20. Air

    Air Community Member

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    I'm happier with an extroverted partner. Typically I like to lead in most situations, but in romantic ones I like being relieved of that responsibility and an extrovert seems more likely to fulfill that role.
     
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