I've revised my position based on my experience. I don't want to date a single parent again or at least for a while, and the child had nothing to do with it. Rather the parent was the problem. It really is the person you're dating, not just that they're a parent that matters. How they handle their responsibilities, and juggle the various elements in their life. I never asked this person to prioritize me vs. their child, yet still, very little time was ever made for me. They had so many others things going on besides their responsibilities, that I wasn't on that list of important things. I had to make most of the accommodations in terms of time. So, how busy your lives are, how you prioritize people and responsibilities is a huge part of this. I would never ask a parent to put their child before me in any way. But I don't want to be last or afterthought in someone's life. This person made time for almost everything else but me. They expected me to make all the compromises, which counters the whole concept of a compromise.
So, I am reluctant to date another single parent for fear they'll use it as an excuse to justify inconsiderate behavior. Some people are going to hate me for saying this, but it's very common today it seems to use "busy lives" to justify not having to put effort into a relationship. Yes, of course, people do have busy lives, and responsibilities and can't pretend they don't. However, when you're simply another thing to juggle in this person's life including work, mothers, family, side obligations, etc., you can easily pushed aside. Many of these people have too many pots on the fire, and struggle with knowing how much time to give to each. Sometimes, people of course will use anything they can to give bare minimum effort. They want to be able to do all these things, but then expect the person to be waiting patiently for them, until they achieve all these dreams or goals. There's no consideration for how this behavior affects anyone. Although I know this person cared (or appeared to), they obviously didn't care enough. And this makes me hugely uncomfortable with trying to make it work with another single parent. All I can think of is how many excuses is this person going to use to make the least amount of effort to include me in their lives? Honestly, I'd rather be single than go through this crap again.
