Why do girls that have turned you down, expect you to sympathise? | INFJ Forum

Why do girls that have turned you down, expect you to sympathise?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Shai Gar, Aug 22, 2009.

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  1. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Some INFJ girl who turned me down in Brisbane is attempting to get me to sympathise with her, now that "her whole life" has just gone to shit.

    I don't mind chatting occasionally when I've got nothing better to do, on msn. But attempting to get me to give a shit? After she turned me down for a "player".

    I'm not having a bitch and a moan that she turned me down. I couldn't care less anymore, after all, she's in brisbane, and I've got some nice prospects in darwin, three numbers in a current black book, and a strong interest in a girl online. But damn, it just seems that coming for sympathy is not really the way to go.

    Anyway, I found it weird. Back to GW.
     
  2. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Well thats because you've slipped back down to the friend zone, and that's exactly what a woman from brisbane would do if things were going wrong: bitch about it to a dude she gave the slight.
     
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  3. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    But I'm rude to her and Ignore her whenever she talks... How am I even remotely friendly?
     
  4. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    I'd say she's probably searching her black book looking for whichever man will try and sympathise with her. Maybe she hoped you were one of the everyday arrogant pricks, but when "real" situations arise; you will be like a modern day lancelot. Who knows.
     
    #4 drsolace, Aug 22, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2009
  5. sassafras

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    I guess she assumes that if you've pursued her before, you must've really cared about her a person (you probably tried to appeal to her INFJness while you were pursuing her, didn't you?)

    Now that she needs a friend, she's turning to the individual that once gave her the impression that they actually give a damn. I don't think it computes with her that there are people out there who've only got a fixed idea of what they want from others, and once they're blocked from achieving those ends, they discard the person and move on.

    That, or maybe she's trying to get you interested again.
     
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  6. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I think TDHT is on to something -- she probably assumed that, because you were actually interested in "getting to know her" better, that you might have actually had some sort of interest in her as a person beyond the romantic intentions.
     
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  7. the

    the Si master race.
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    What do you mean by 'turned down', I thought you were gay?
     
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  8. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    hahahaha, burn

    Yes yeah, nothing wrong with being gay ofc.

    Addressing the topic at hand, yes ofc she expects you to sympathise, she turned you down, not the other way around...
     
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  9. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Yeah, I did. Until she turned me down for a player. That's when I dismissed her as a person worth getting to know.

    Dismissing me for a nicer guy, or a guy she's known longer... That's different.

    Yeah, but whenever I get turned down, for someone who's not as good as me, I immediately remove them from the lists of "ever asking again".
     
  10. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    123
     
  11. drsolace

    drsolace Community Member

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    123 i agree
     
  12. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    She still might have thought of you as a friend or confidant, though. Maybe she's just desperate for someone to talk to.
     
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  13. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    My dad in his younger years before he met my mom had a girlfriend who broke up with him by just not talking with him. Years later, when engaged to my mom, she called him and told him that her brother was dying of a major heart attact b/c he's close with his siblings. But it's like, seriously, wtf, why are you only talking to me now when you need help? What's that all about?
     
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  14. OP
    Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    No, i am pretty blunt with my intentions.
    That is even more insulting.
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
  15. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    She would be better off cutting him out of her life if he is going to be an ass.

    I'm sure she will either stop trying or find someone else.
     
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  16. HaHa

    HaHa Community Member

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    He could've been someone to talk to. Y'know, if she'd said yes. Now she's insulted him as a man and he will not be that person to talk to. Decisions have consequences, and she's being a bitch.
     
  17. Creon

    Creon Community Member

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    Yes, it is. Makes me doudt her infjness, since she seems to be so inconsiderate of your position and feelings. Make her suffer.
     
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  18. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Do you know what she wants to talk to you about?

    When I say desperate, I mean that there might be something going on that you might not be considering. I always assume the worst with stuff like that -- I've talked to too many people who have had problems with attempted suicide, rape, domestic issues, etc.

    And the idea that she has to suffer because she turned you down is very immature. She had a right to say no. Even if it was for someone else, even someone unworthy -- I mean, if the feelings weren't there, then they weren't. I'm not saying you have to like it or be nice to her, but a vengeful take on it shows a lack of understanding of the true base of the emotion -- if you're feeling betrayed or let down or like you've had a blow to your manhood, own up to that. Don't create a wall of hate to save yourself from it.

    It's understandable that you wouldn't want to talk to her or anything. But the anger is a bit unnecessary :/
     
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  19. Creon

    Creon Community Member

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    Regardless, she still didn't seem to care about Shai's position in all of this. I mean, someone exposes his feelings, you turn him down and then you turn to him again when things don't go well although you know his desires and intentions? I don't know.

    Gloomy's right, but you should make her suffer anyway. Obliterate her.
     
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