Where the hell do you get energy from? | INFJ Forum

Where the hell do you get energy from?

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lorkan

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Aug 25, 2008
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Yes?! From where? I feel I loose energy from day to day, both because I don't really have any very close friends anymore, and also because my SJ-family is overloading me with their responsibilitys (making their's mine).

I feel I have lost almost all excitement. Just wake up in the morning and am tired and go to bed tired, day after day. Don't like reading and dont play threw my videogames anymore because it's to big deal nowadays.

Have you been in a state when everything is just plain grey in your enviroment, and can't find motivation nor inspiration?
 
Get out of it(the environment), don't take shit from people because they say you have too, cause most of the time you don't. You make your own decisions, it's up to you to decide if you want to stay in a situation that drains you or not.

That's how people distinguish children from adults.
 
I had a good long time where it felt like I didn't have a purpose, and that gave the same feeling.
My recommendation:
Go to nature. Do some self-reflection by yourself in an area where there are few to no people.
I prefer nature because you don't have as much to keep you tied up in your worries. No clocks ticking, no music blaring, nothing to remind you of anything except your ties with the universe, and how it all works...
And do that often. It won't make your problems go away, but it may very well give you a breath of fresh air; a nature walk does wonders :)
 
I'm just getting out of a horrible period like that, and my best advice is a change of setting, at least for a moment, trying to get out of your routine as much as you can.
 
I am here to tell you I was there too...I felt like day in and day out my life was a useless speck of an existence and nothing made me happy nothing was worth much I felt like a robot an empty useless shell...I think many of us have periods like this...And so far I agree a DRASTIC and exciting change needs to occur! Thats the only way I know to fix that..
 
Lorkan, you sound a little depressed! I have to agree with everyone above, especially SH-it sounds like you need some personal time alone. The only thing I would add to all the great advice above is taking some kind of journal with you in case the urge to express yourself comes out. SJ's are such awesome energy sappers . . .

Oh, and hi everyone . . . it's been awhile . . .
 
Ha, I opened this thread expecting to be talking about cellular respiration...now I feel odd.

Well to answer the question in the way you asked it...

I pretty much agree with what everyone else said, nature does it for me. I went through a period of depression last spring and found that going outside and sitting in a secluded area with a journal was the best therapy. Writing out all of your thoughts helps out a lot, and reading them back to you will help you reflect to help you figure out your problems. Depending on your reaction to them, you may feel motivated to do something about it.

The only reason I dont recommend a therapist is because I know that it wouldnt help me. I dont really like talking to other people about my problems unless I know they are asking me out of care for me. Even after that, I am still incredibly hesitant. Think of a journal as using yourself as a therapist. No one knows you like you do, unless you actually have a psychological disease that is caused by something internal, treatable with drugs.
 
Sleep, personal time, caffeine, and sex (I'll take the world on after sex)
 
cocaine

Don't drink those Red Bull things; they're not good for your heart.
 
lol
 
Videogames, while we're on the topic of quick-fixes. I recommend trying to complete the entire journal in Kingdom Hearts (II); that'll keep you busy for a while

But actually, I would recommend a therapist of some sort. Naturally, it has to be a person that genuinely interest in helping, and they have to be unjudgemental. But I've found that if there is someone that meets that criteria, it's easy(er) to talk to them because it doesn't feel like they're out to judge you. They know you have a problem, and it's their job and, if you get the right person, their passion to help.
I don't know how to explain it, but it's a relief to have someone you can just vent to without worrying that they think you're crazy (because they already know)
 
lorkan said:
I feel I loose energy from day to day, both because I don't really have any very close friends anymore, and also because my SJ-family is overloading me with their responsibilitys (making their's mine).

I feel I have lost almost all excitement. Just wake up in the morning and am tired and go to bed tired, day after day. Don't like reading and dont play threw my videogames anymore because it's to big deal nowadays.

Have you been in a state when everything is just plain grey in your enviroment, and can't find motivation nor inspiration?
Click to expand...

Kwistalline said:
Lorkan, you sound a little depressed! I have to agree with everyone above, especially SH-it sounds like you need some personal time alone. The only thing I would add to all the great advice above is taking some kind of journal with you in case the urge to express yourself comes out. SJ's are such awesome energy sappers . . .
Click to expand...

Does sound like there is some mild depression there, the above advice is good. I'd say physical activity and eating healthy really are the best ways to physically pull yourself out of a rut and try not to spend too much time sleeping. Also trying to get rid of anything in your life that is causing you stress while you are working on this would help, maybe you could talk to your family about backing off with giving you responsibilities for a short time.
 
I'm right there with you. Smack in the middle of the most similar sounding experience, so here is a bit of advice that I will try to take myself...Try to be forgiving with yourself for whatever reason that has created the extra dose of stress. Be forgiving of your family for relying upon you so much and, sorry, I don't know what SFs are, but if they are controlling and domineering then, again, I understand. This forum should help you talk to people who will understand your needs for both boundaries and space better than others in your other world. Journals are good. Read a lot until you get some news that will help you understand how to dust it off. It should pass, just keep learning, forgiving, loving.

Ok - gotta get to my family now...


Or, do what I have been doing...Have a tantrum followed by avoidance ! Ya know, I have to add that I like who I am, but man was I a jerk lately, which has prompted me to start trying to get where that came from and led me to this site. It is helping me.:mpaddy:

Keep in mind the the larger environment these days is also pretty stressed out with the economy tanking and all, so perhaps people like us are a bit more intuned to many of these external stressors.

Reestablish the boundaries right now. You can change them later if you want. Your choice. Mine have gotten so blurry lately that I am backing away for a bit, just so I can be there when really necessary for my job and family...like now, gotta go.
 
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Hi Lorkan,

I have been feeling like that in the past, lack of energy and motivation. I can only suggest what has helped me, and hopefully you are able to relate this to your situation:
  • walking (or running) out in nature is GREAT. Walk a dog if you need an excuse to get out there, or find another good excuse. I find that whenever I don't want to go out walking is probably when I need it the most! Just do it - you will feel better afterwards. It is quiet time after all -> and its time away from annoying members of the family.
  • reflection time, write if you need to, journal/bullet points whatever helps you to express yourself and organise your thoughts.
  • get clear regarding your values. I got into this depressed state when my life was contrary to my inner values, but I did not realise this at the time. I was so unhappy, unmotivated and physically unwell that eventually I had to quit my job and after a few months went to see a life coach (admittedly, some of her advice did not apply to me, and I did not take it on board, BUT getting clear re my values was so important! Now I have been typed 'INFJ' I realise why).
  • focus on the values, make changes where you can (e.g. I was not able to change my profession, however I have realised that my job does not define me as a person, I can find value in other areas of my life).
  • having good friends can make this process easier. But I was unable to share it with friends my anyway. It is a state where only YOU can help yourself. Try and be your own best friend for a couple of days and be good to yourself - can you do that?
  • if you have any ideas for a different direction/motivation, do NOT immediately dismiss these (write them down, make a list). Do one thing each week "as if" you were moving into that direction, e.g. ask for brochures, make a phone call, research on the internet. Pretend just for 5 minutes you were an "E". I do pretend I am an "E" - it is pretty exhausting but entirely necessary sometimes. Good practice to be able to draw on this "E" when you need to sometime...
Hope this helps you a bit.

All the best,

Skye
 
^ great advice Skye and :welcome:
 
Hey, thanks so much!! I must admit it took a couple of deep breaths (and two glasses of wine - LOL) to write all that, but I feel I am amongst friends.

I know,mostly it's stuff about myself really (are we all so self-absorbed?), BUT I don't know Lorkan very much, so this will have to suffice, Also, you may be the only people out there that ARE actually like me. Weird but wonderful. Ah, the feeling, not you fellow INFJs (!)

S.
 
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My bad, I totally took this off topic :D

Anyway stuff moved here.
 
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