Doesn't Cast Shadows
- Jun 9, 2009
So, Forum, why do you date (or try to)?
Slant, I certainly understand your dilemma. On the other hand, what other options are there? Certainly you cannot tell a book by its' cover. There is a kind of syncrhoicity in successful dating, but the reality is that you can get hurt no matter the circumstances. You often meet the one in very unusual or synchronistic circumstances. It takes honest introspection, and that ain't easy. It isn't like you are the only variable in the equation. I think a lot of your honesty, but I wish you would try to be more of a positive thinker. At some level it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you start everything in a minus way.
honestly i think dating is for girls so they can make guys spend all thier money on them and protect them.
without dating... it would probably just be sex
I don't, because I'm too shy and awkward on dates. I think I'm much more likable if just hanging out as friends without any romantic pressure.
Because they wanted usually. I prefer to... hang around together... but I mean more like, casually. Go do something together, because we enjoy the company.. like friends.. but not like - today I put my best clothes just for you, even though tomorrow I won't. Makes no sense. I don't like dates as a factor for nervousness and pretense. Should be more calm, sweet and down to earth. No idea why people invented this dating weirdness to complicate their own stuff; it's not necessarily been this way in every human society.
I'm not even interested in people looking all shiny and opera-like. I'm more interested in their casual relaxed style.
I don't automatically consider dating to be quite so 'dressed up' as that sounds, me; just getting out with the person you want to be with, whether that's dancing or hiking or sitting on a bench. =P
slant said:I don't date.
The predominant reason that I don't date is that it confuses me what the difference is supposed to be between a relationship and a friendship. If you think about it, it seems like romantic relationships are the same as friendships except that you have to talk more and if you dont talk to each other for eight months and then hang out, there is a big problem, whereas friends usually don't care a whole lot.
Relationships are so much more needy and time consuming. It's like people feed off of being able to have someone's beck and call.
And you know why I would fail in a relationship? Because if I wanted to go out or something then he/she that I was dating would do the thing they always seem to do
"But I want you to stay here with me. I'm lonely."
"Well then go hang out with YOUR friends."
"I don't feel like hanging out with them right now they all hate me."
"I don't see how that's even my problem. If they all hate you, make them un-hate you. And if you can't, you can come and hang out with my friends."
"I really don't want to, let's just stay home, me and you."
"No! FUCK! Stop smothering me!! Go hang out with your damn friends!" -door slam-
haha. I'm the same way, @slant. :tongue:
I haven't exactly gotten there yet, though dating only seems like a nuisance. to me, it's a process of trying to make yourself like someone or feel a connection with them -- it's experimental. it feels unnatural, whereas if I just focus on building a friendship, I don't have any pressure on me. nine times out of ten, when I like someone, they're my friend first and I've already developed a connection with them far before any romantic feelings arise.
and yes, I agree that a relationship is no different than a friendship in the end, though the feelings involved are deeper and there may be a physical aspect.
plus I need my space in any relationship, which so many people nowadays are not willing to give. they need reassurance in the most pointless ways. just because I don't hang out with you 24/7 doesn't mean I don't care for you.
Friendships are just as complex and meaningful as romantic relationships, and if some people just don't see appeal in romantic relationships (which by the way, if you aren't having sex in your romantic relationship they are essentially EXACTLY the same as friendships), there isn't anything wrong with that.