thank you all for showing your interest
this week has been especially draining
trying to keep my friend from the edge
barely got to sleep this week...but i'm handlin'
and life goes on
i was sitting with my friend Rivers
he is almost 4 years old
we had a staring contest
it took a few attempts to get him to focus
and i just let myself feel 'blank' while i looked at him and he looked at me
after half a minute we broke the gaze
i asked him how he felt, if he felt anything
he said "i feel funny"
he was relaxed, and feeling good about our eye exchange
i could tell that it did something for him
then he pointed to his right eye and said "mommy", pointed to his left "daddy"
i have tried this exercise with him twice
the second time our eye contact was shorter and less focused, as there were many other people around to distract/make noise
but even after a brief moment of eye contact...maybe 10-15 seconds
he said "i feel better"
and again, pointed to his right and left eye, appointing mommy to the right and daddy to the left
you must understand, this kid is an exceptionally gifted one
he is extremely creative and bright
i think he is young enough to actually feel his mom and dad coming through his eyes
it kinda makes sense
try closing your left eye, look around and feel the scene
do the same with your right, and test it out
pay attention to the difference in your perception
maybe we all have mom on one side and dad on the other
i can feel a difference, if i pay attention to it
maybe it's just a dominant right eye i've got... not really certain
all this doesnt matter so much
this is just one small piece of the puzzle
my most intense experiences with eye contact have involved people dealing with heavy shit
when i look into those eyes, at first see nothing but walls
those walls have to be breached
when the defenses are down
the real person behind that face begins to come out
this is an extremely intense, emotional process
i think i am allowing troubled individuals to be calm
through this gaze i establish a level of trust
and there is acceptance which takes place on a deep level
just one person, wholly accepting another
some people never get to feel that, and they need it so desperately