What is the secret to falling out of love? | Page 5 | INFJ Forum

What is the secret to falling out of love?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Satya, Sep 5, 2008.

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  1. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Generally, when things fall they get broken.
    ..........................
    Another note,
    To love is grand
    To reciprocate Divine

    :D
     
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  2. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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  3. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer

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  4. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    I don't think there's ever any falling out of love --- just an acceptance that they're not supposed to be in our lives anymore.
     
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  5. flower

    flower

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    Move on and maybe fall in love with someone else?
     
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  6. Aneirin

    Aneirin AKA, David
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    the best medicine for it for sure
     
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  7. acd

    acd jezi baba

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    I agree with this. Maybe you will always love someone once you establish that bond..... Maybe you love them but are no longer in love.
     
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  8. Hostarius

    Hostarius A L I G N

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    I think that's true.

    There's another situation, though, where you fall in love with a carefully-fabricated persona, and when the truth outs the entire illusion gets shattered. In those cases, falling out of love is like leaving a cult, with the realisation that none of it was real.

    Loving a real person, though - there's no death to that.
     
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  9. GreenTea

    GreenTea Community Member

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    If I really loved the person I don't find it easy to move on. I guess through time it gets easier.
     
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  10. acd

    acd jezi baba

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    Absolutely. It is like deprogramming yourself in that case. I've been there. But I don't think I actually loved that person. I loved the idea or persona.
     
  11. InTRovErT34

    InTRovErT34 Community Member

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    Well I would have to say door slam isolation from the one you loved,
    Time ,occupancy with day to day
    Activity,and knowing it was for the
    Best of both people. Or it would have lasted.. eeeeee. Sad but true. As a INFJ
    U would think there's all kinds of emotion ..yes ..yes there is it sucks there's plenty of over thinking. I.couldve done this , she could of loved me deeper , blame myself etc...blame something else but at the end of 10 months u will learn..and apply it as a thicker skin when ,if , love happens again, to be better prepared to not dive in ,make sure your partner is going to go the extra mile..treat u like u treat them, make sure you both can handle ones needs. Etc.. getting off topic ..u just gotta have your heart broke couple times. Then u Will know. it's hard to be cold but sometimes necessary...
     
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  12. InTRovErT34

    InTRovErT34 Community Member

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    It definitely isn't easy but I can't say really because I go way deeper into . meaning, adoration,trust, conversation,empathy, commitment,yeah etc.im a romantic and all the women I've encountered don't understand what that means it's hard to be on my wavelength Of what I believe love is. I've been in relationship holding it together bending over backwards.to no avail tied trying to make them happy it's sad how materialistic some people are. true deep love is not existent in there hearts I've spent 6years in a fake relationship not once did I think about marriage because I knew they were not right for my needs I can read there lack of commitment and emotion I guess that's why I can get over a relationship.i have hope for my soulmate but I am patient. Trust in the universe. And believe she's out there.. One day to manifest in the most miraculous way.
     
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  13. Hostarius

    Hostarius A L I G N

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    Hmm...
     
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  14. InTRovErT34

    InTRovErT34 Community Member

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    Well there's no secret it is opinion based per individual.everyone will feel different and handle it to their Accord..
     
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  15. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Very true @Hostarius

    When we give our love to the Mask it is almost like suffering a pain filled death of sorts when that mask drops. We realize that we have love for a fictious character that the Player either could not keep up, or their end game has arrived and we are left the casuality.

    When my last relationship ended in 2014 I felt like my soul had been raped. My Spirit broken. The cycle of emotional upheavals in the aftermath were the stuffs of good writing. I felt all fucked up with no where to go...I was floundering directionless. It took almost 2 full years to right myself, and I confess, I still have issues related to that relationship.

    What I did do was work through the grieving process. I mourned the death of the Mask, the relationship, and what I thought might have been my future had I not been duped.

    It worked and I'm better for it.

    Though, like I say, I still have issues about relationships. Yet, I'm grateful to have had the experience. Trust issues mostly, but those aren't unfamiliar to me. I get asked out. I explain to the other that I'm not ready for the seriousness that comes with relationships. Some walk away, some keep asking. ;) When, more if, I'm ready, I'll know.

    Repreprosity is important in any relationship, even unromantic ones. I've found that much of the time speaking the same love language is most important in the romantic ones. Hashing out expectations, making agreements, shared goals and acceptance levels are important at the onset. Somewhere here in the forum is a thread about "what are deal breakers in a relationship". I think that's important to sort out 1st or 2nd date. Otherwise, the relationship simply won't work, regardless of efforts. The whole idea of a hookup culture in these modern times is seeds of heartbreak.

    Anyhoo, just my take on why I agree with you on both accounts. Real Love knows no bounds or time...it continues indefinitely. In loving another it is honorable to love them yet let them go once it's realized it's not working.

    To me, Love equates freedom...free to Be, to love and be loved...to do any other is Ego.

    :) ...another reasoning to loving often and absolutely.
     
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