What is a normal amount of jealousy or control in a relationship? | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

What is a normal amount of jealousy or control in a relationship?

alynn11 said:
I've been told "I'm a guy and I know how guys are and how they think and how they act. I don't trust him." many times. I always come back with, "You don't have to trust him. It takes 2. You only have to trust me. If you don't trust me either, then I guess we have a serious issue.". Needless to say, I'm currently single. LOL.

Honestly, on top of agreeing with your response, I also don't get his type of argument at all, like....OK, if your friend being a guy => your boyfriend doesn't trust him, why not apply that logic to him, himself i.e. you ought to not think very highly of him, like he's ultimately not that trustworthy either.

I think nearly all these problems are ultimately rooted in not viewing romantic relationships as a subtype of standard loving/empathetic relationships, and as inherently more territorial and so on. I for the life of me can't see this as rooted in anything but our more primitive biological instincts, akin to craving sugar no matter what surplus of calories are available.
Territoriality might've served a crude purpose in some animalistic time-frame, but it seems pretty dumb to me in any intelligent way of doing things.


The way he makes it sound, why even be in a romantic relationship instead of just doing friendship? Just seems a very non-tender relationship.