[INFJ] - What do you hate about being INFJ? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] What do you hate about being INFJ?

Rferraris

Rferraris

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Mar 3, 2012
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Is there a part of being INFJ that you wish were different. When I first typed, I felt relieved. I felt understood because most of my life I felt different. I grew up in a pretty intense way which I'd rather get into some place else, but suffice it to say it was intense. Not more intense than anyone else's, just intense is all. And I thought as a consequence I turned out like I did.

I wish I wasn't so judging. And while I'm always looking for values and holding myself and others to those values, I wish I didn't care. I wish I wasn't always paying attention to how I feel about situations. I can't ride in a car and not pay attention to how my intuitions rake me over the coals. Just leave me alone. I don't want to feel anything. Just like to go into a room sometimes blindly and not have the answer before I sit down.
I'm not convinced I know the answers. I'm convinced I make the situation the way I imagine it to be and pretend I have the answers.

Do I have to watch every person and every move everyone makes. Can I not come to all sorts of conclusions based on how you look, walk, sound. I wish I could get away from your aura, or energy or whatever it is that makes you transparent to me.

I wish I could get drunk and play in a bar, but I'll stay home straight by myself and walk the beach alone to get over this. No sound, no lights. Just stare into the black and close my eyes half way.
 
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Going to a bar isn't the most awesome thing ever, but you should try it at least once... Don't be all judgmental about it broooo.

I grew up intense, I am a crazy fuck like you in a way, gender roles caused me to have a developed Ti which can trick me into thinking I am just a lazy INtJ or even eNTj sometimes. Learn about your inferior Se and hidden Si, and your hidden Ti and auxiliary Fe. They come together to make sense of the universe, and it's all up in your head, just like every other human being. You just happen to be more sensitive than your peers, receptive you are, not padawan... but silent Jedi Knight you are, hmm!

"Basically you're fucked up, and your shit's all retarded."

...but there are benefits to being INFJ: I feel love all over, for example.
 
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BTW I hate the word hate, and this is probably the onliest thing I hate.

On the topic ... dude ... just go to a bar with an extreme confidence, screaming deep inside in yourself "I am f''' awesome'.

That is all from me on this topic.
 
I hate (maybe not that strong...dislike) it when I try and express myself verbally and it does not come out right sometimes in a group and people just stare at me as if I had a third eye! (I do better writing).

I also wish I could connect with more people on a deeper level without it draining me but, we are who we are so, even though I would like to be able to do better in these areas I am also content and happy with who I am.

On the good side, I like that I can predict or already know the outcome of a situation or what a person will say before they even say it and, most of the time, I am on the bullseye with what I knew inside. I did not understand this at all until I learned about the different MBTIs and then when I realized there were others like me...I could not believe it, I did not feel so isolated (please don't take me wrong, I can make friends easy but still feel isolated because of that inability to connect with people at a deeper level except for a very, very few; it is hard to explain but I think everyone on this forum can relate to what I am saying to varying degrees)
 
being overanalyitical
not turning off mental noise
checking/second-guessing self, don't really ease up
 
I hate that, because I'm not outgoing or gregarious, people just look right through me, like I'm invisible.
 
Rferraris said:
Is there a part of being INFJ that you wish were different. When I first typed, I felt relieved. I felt understood because most of my life I felt different. I grew up in a pretty intense way which I'd rather get into some place else, but suffice it to say it was intense. Not more intense than anyone else's, just intense is all. And I thought as a consequence I turned out like I did.

I wish I wasn't so judging. And while I'm always looking for values and holding myself and others to those values, I wish I didn't care.
Click to expand...

I too wish I was not so judging sometimes. It is just that I see things others do not see as readily/quickly and I am naturally expressive. I hardly share my perspectives with others except ESTPs now because they usually see what I see if I point matters out to them.

What I think I hate most about being INFJ is that I never feel like I really fit in or belong anywhere with any group (not totally sure if this is totally INFJ related though). I am always on the fringe of groups. I hate that some people sincerly try to understand me but due to the fact that I am the opposite of the ESTJ ideal, the comparative rareness of the INFJ type and my individual personality, they often fail miserably even though I think I am more like others than they think I am.
 
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I never really notice the knowing stuff. What I mean is it's not a conscious effort. And I start a conversation or say something like it's fact and people look at me like I'm dead, or nuts.

I don't take well to that, so that just makes it harder. I'm not the shy type.
 
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I hate the long hours.

I don't hate the kaleidoscope of ideas but it does really irritate me that I do not have enough time to try them all out. I hate when I get sidetracked by another idea while I am following through with something I did decide to chase down the rabbit hole.

I hate second guessing myself all the time making sure I made the right decision, gotten better at this over the years.

I also hate that Firefly and Farscape were taken off the air. I know that doesn't really relate to being an INFJ, but it popped in my mind while I was writing this post.
 
Honey said:
I too wish I was not so judging sometimes. It is just that I see things others do not see as readily/quickly and I am naturally expressive. I hardly share my perspectives with others except ESTPs now because they usually see what I see if I point matters out to them.

What I think I hate most about being INFJ is that I never feel like I really fit in or belong anywhere with any group (not totally sure if this is totally INFJ related though). I am always on the fringe of groups. I hate that some people sincerly try to understand me but due to the fact that I am the opposite of the ESTJ ideal, the comparative rareness of the INFJ type and my individual personality, they often fail miserably even though I think I am more like others than they think I am.
Click to expand...

Plus one! I'm very worn out right now, so trying to put into words what I mean is difficult.

I love being different but at the same time Ihate being different. I hate how my different approach to things is ususally used as a negative against me. I generally don't put my opinions forth in conversation these days, people don't seem to find people as interesting as I do, and often the norm is what people like.

My main problem has laways been what the above poster mentioned. I make friends easily, and usually get on well with people. I am very friendly and can be outgoing and enerally care about other people and making them feel welcome. I don't connect on a deeper level with people often. I have lots of aquaintances and am on the fringes of a good many groups...but my entire life I've never had a solid group of friends. I have individual close friends from different circles, none of whom know each other or conect up. This does bother me quite a lot...it would be nice to have a group of friends that all hang out together, instead I generally feel isolated and left out because while I do get invited out places, I'm not totally a part of any of these groups, so my friends are out doing their thing and I end up feeling left out. Heh. What you gonna do!
 
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[MENTION=5297]Neverwhere[/MENTION]

Can relate.
Lots of people all around. People seem to what to know something. Friends from different groups. None know each others. Not sure how many people have one big group of friends where they are friends with all of them. Not really me.
I also tend to like to come and go and keep to myself. I get to be good friends, but with individuals. Usually they are loners too.
 
Neverwhere said:
Plus one! I'm very worn out right now, so trying to put into words what I mean is difficult.

I love being different but at the same time Ihate being different. I hate how my different approach to things is ususally used as a negative against me. I generally don't put my opinions forth in conversation these days, people don't seem to find people as interesting as I do, and often the norm is what people like.

My main problem has laways been what the above poster mentioned. I make friends easily, and usually get on well with people. I am very friendly and can be outgoing and enerally care about other people and making them feel welcome. I don't connect on a deeper level with people often. I have lots of aquaintances and am on the fringes of a good many groups...but my entire life I've never had a solid group of friends. I have individual close friends from different circles, none of whom know each other or conect up. This does bother me quite a lot...it would be nice to have a group of friends that all hang out together, instead I generally feel isolated and left out because while I do get invited out places, I'm not totally a part of any of these groups, so my friends are out doing their thing and I end up feeling left out. Heh. What you gonna do!
Click to expand...

[MENTION=5297]Neverwhere[/MENTION] expressed my same feelings exactly so, DITTO. Thanks, Neverwhere.
 
[MENTION=5297]Neverwhere[/MENTION], I know what you mean.

I've never had the same groups of friends either. I feel that they come into my life for a purpose, and when that purpose is fufilled, they drift out of my life, and I make new friends. I sometimes feel envy for people my age and older who have stayed friends with people since they were in elementary or middle school. I seem to be like a nomad between groups of people.

Also, [MENTION=5753]Brodskizzle[/MENTION] YES!!!!!

And [MENTION=5927]Patrick Williams[/MENTION]....muahahaha I get that too, but probably because I actually speak from my third eye XD



I also had this experience with study groups in my Anatomy class. I never quite stuck solidly with a specific group, like most people did, though there were certain people I liked studying with more than others.
 
I hate that it's so easy for me to kick people to the curb sometimes. It's a good thing, but sometimes I do it when I THINK they've wronged me, and I don't even wait around long enough to find out. Psheeeeeeew...outta there. I have a very small tolerance for what I perceive to be bullshiot.
 
sevenx said:
I hate that it's so easy for me to kick people to the curb sometimes. It's a good thing, but sometimes I do it when I THINK they've wronged me, and I don't even wait around long enough to find out. Psheeeeeeew...outta there. I have a very small tolerance for what I perceive to be bullshiot.
Click to expand...

I wonder what it is about our personality types (INFJ) that makes it so easy for us to cut the cords with out much thought or remorse and not look back? Interesting....
 
I dislike the fact that I felt so alone in the world for so long. I also dislike the intensity of emotion and the way people can manipulate me because I am too busy over-analyzing my own reaction to their reactions. I dislike people thinking I am a know-it-all because I am so intuitively aware of what they are going to do and say before they do and say it. I also dislike having a random thought pattern that would make most people insane and the sleepless nights and no one really ever "getting it." Now I am sad, I am so messed up. :(
 
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Patrick Williams said:
I wonder what it is about our personality types (INFJ) that makes it so easy for us to cut the cords with out much thought or remorse and not look back? Interesting....
Click to expand...

I'm not sure! I can quite literally forget people ever existed if I want to. Must be a self defense mechanism of some sort.
 
I wish I could be more completely present for a longer period. I find it takes all my ability to be present to the world around me. I start a conversation and then am suddenly thinking about what caused the collapse of the Mayan civilization and then realize someone has asked me for a position in terms of whether or not I am going to pass the peas at the table, and they are all looking at me like wtf. So I have to scroll back through the registered sound waves and understand what was asked, and then respond. I am even like this in sex. I might remember in the middle of it some other partner and suddenly fall through the present into a present that is no longer present and then understand how I want to end a poem and wish I could stop and write it down but figure it's probably impolite but try to create mnemonic to remember it, and then ... Only maybe in soccer am I completely present and only for that play and then I go back to wondering about what someone meant ten years ago when she said I wasn't present very often.
 
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