Using your voice | INFJ Forum

Using your voice

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by flux, Dec 5, 2009.

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  1. flux

    flux Community Member

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    Got this idea from the INFP board, and I figure it's equally relevant here. I'm going to use "voice" to mean both the physical sounds made by you, and the contributions you make.

    Do you feel you use your voice to its best advantage? Are you confident with the tendencies of your speaking/singing voice? Do you hear it as other people do? What do you think of the contribution you make? Do you feel voiceless or muzzled? Do you feel as though you're not making the contribution you could be?

    ^ I don't know. Some of these questions reflect my mood of late. As much as I like online communication and have made friends both local and international from it, I don't feel very connected recently, here or in "real life". I'm not quite depressed or lonely, but I probably need a deeper connection as of late. I feel like I'm not part of a community, and yet I have numerous communities. I believe this is an arrow out into the world, it doesn't only point at me.

    There are times that I have used my voice to its optimum and it seemed that not enough people (or the wrong people) were listening. So in various ways, over the course of years, I just stopped talking. And started talking in other places. It's a sort of rootlessness.
     
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    #1 flux, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
    tovlo likes this.
  2. jmclaypoole

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    As an ISFP, I do not typically use my voice to the extent that others would. This tends to get me into trouble because I'll keep my thoughts that should be expressed externally inside of my own head. It's very difficult for me to open up without first being provoked by someone else.
     
  3. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I do not...

    I am not confident in my speaking or singing voice...tho i was classically training in operatic style...I dont think my voice is good at all...

    Yes It has gotten me in trouble too...
     
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  4. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    My voice is soft, and in a room full of people hardly anyone ever hears me. I've taught myself to speak in a different tone, but it's not comfortable. Sometimes I don't mind being mute and just listening. That's what a lot of people seem to want anyway - a chance to talk about themselves without having to stop to listen to someone else.
     
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  5. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    I support this way of thinking too. The person is a measure for the world. By yourself, your own struggles, you can judge about a sufficient part of the other people (not all, of course). Which is good, because in finding methods to solve personal problems, you certainly help someone.

    Naturally, I feel okay in live situations. Internet causes me more trouble, exactly because people have no voices. Written words have no voices. I invent them in my head, along the way, but that's not the same, and I'm not crazy enough to make it the same. (sigh)

    People repress each other's voices, or their own voice, for different reasons. Part of them seek very personal connection, the other part seek more universal connection. These two basic needs among people clash a lot, which causes some of them to shut their voices, feeling like it's the only right thing to do.
     
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  6. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    No. I still feel too insecure in it's sound.

    I believe my speaking voice can be something to be admired.

    I think my singing voice is very weak. Sometimes it can be pretty in it's weak sound, but usually I think it's just uncomfortable.

    How would I know?

    I do not think it is it's potential.

    Yes.

    see above

    I have much resonance with what you speak here. I wish I had a sense of rootedness in purpose that would allow me the motivation to speak. Yet I do not.

    I do not feel inspired to speak when I do not think the effort means anything to anyone else.

    It means something to me to be realized.

    I think sharing of self in a place that receives you can bring about that realization. If one does not feel there is a place that will receive, the inspiration to continue speaking can wither.

    There are other ways to be realized and there are other reasons to speak. Perhaps these could be disentangled. Purpose and sense of being can be realized outside of voice and voice can provide benefit outside of being realized.
     
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  7. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    At time yes, my voice is 'deep' but also lacks any type of accent. This makes me sound less pretentious when I use my vocabulary.
    Do I hear my voice like others do? No, I tend to think my voice is on either extreme, very deep or extremely high pitched. I also tend to think my voice is a lot quieter than it actually is. I don't feel voiceless, if I talk people will most likely listen, but I often don't talk.
    I know how you feel, I recently went through a personality change (really just me growing up and stopping some of my childishness) and I don't feel connected in real life with a lot of people that I known for the longest time. It feels like they expect me to act in one manner when I earnestly want to act the way I want too. I love you guys, this forum and all, but I don't seek to become great friends with anyone here. At least, if I do, I want to meet that particuarly person, in person.
    Although I hated the class even though I'm a good speaker, oral communications has taught me that the audience has just as much to do with how a speech is going to be received just as the speaker has to make a good speech to be a good speaker. (Sorry, if that does not make sense)
     
  8. Afrelen

    Afrelen Community Member

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    I'm fairly confident I've used my voice to my satisfaction (and when singing to many's dissatisfaction), but I'm fairly confident that I haven't been heard to my satisfaction. This is because the world is full of all types and motives, and some of those simply aren't interested in listening. I know many people who are just talking to hear themselves or to be heard. They don't participate in community to contribute to it, they expect the community to contribute to them.

    Sometimes, even in all our caring for other people and longing to be part of the community, we are that person. We're all selfish human beings in the end, and when we forget that all means "even you" we act the part more freely. So just speak up, do what you can to contribute. Force yourself to be confident. Sometimes, you're your own mute.
     
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  9. sassafras

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    Cool topic.

    I have a deep, booming voice that sometimes makes me feel a little self-conscious. I'm really bad at whispering or not being heard... much to my more gossipy friends' chagrin sometimes. So I can't say I have much control over how I modulate my voice. It just has its own agenda most of the time.

    Still, while sometimes being loud has its disadvantages, it has its advantages too.... examples being during presentations or work forums. I speak clearly and concisely, and while I do occasionally fumble over my pronunciation, I do enunciate my words carefully.

    I do not know what you mean by 'singing voice.' I do know possess one.

    Yeah, to a degree, but its not because of a lack of opportunity. I'm just anxious about putting myself out there sometimes. And it kind of makes me feel like a coward. I tend to speak up just seconds before the shit hits the fan... and that's usually when I'm too panicked to care about how I'm coming across.

    So do I feel like I'm making the contribution I could? Heck no, I could do a lot more. We could all do a lot more... if we only wanted to.
     
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  10. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I have a relatively soft voice.....I have spoken much more forcefully through the actions and deeds of my life.
     
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