Unintentionally Offending Others When Talking

Does anyone here ever feel like you offend others when you talk?

That has been the central issue of most of my relationship with people. At my most comfortable state, I talk in an impersonal manner and have a slightly brash way of conversing (it's the way I was brought up). In this case, people tend to be offended by whatever I say or have a negative reaction despite my best intentions which led to people ignoring or avoiding me.

I can, however, be very soft-spoken and try to think from the perspectives of the person I am talking to but it happens only in environments where I feel like I am supposed to do that (for me it is the workplace, as an example). Very soft-spoken and accommodating to the point that I feel like some people would see me as incompetent and weak, which is counter productive especially in a work environment. Also this way of interacting with others gets tiring after a while because I feel like I am soaking in too much of the person in my psyche (if you get me)

I can't seem to balance between the two.

I was wondering if anyone here can relate to this or have any particular experience or advices you could share

 

That's me at work.. Led to everyone thinking that I am antisocial. It's a lose-lose situation.

Definitely. Life is all about learning. It just gets tiring on some days that despite meaning well, most people misunderstand my intentions simply because I can't express myself the way I would want it to be.

Excuse me