Thoughts From A Tired Soul

I can see why.
I usually get ENTP and INFP as other options in those test that give alternative result options.
My age and life experience has impact on test results too. And, with that in mind, it's practical to assume that I've learned to work with the negative aspects of being INFJ. It's just a test.

I took a workshop back in 2008ish that the company I worked for hired a gal that typed several of us. At the time the workshop was for conflict resolution. I tested as INFJ and on the second part of the test she spent two days trying to explain how my letters were just impossibly wrong as they were Ne, Se, Fe and Te...all extroverted. Confusing. At the time I took that test I was much more anxious than I am now. I think if a person is going to put stock in how they type they should test periodically to gauge lest they have 'changed' some.

It was pitiful to watch her struggle to explain such an anonmoly as my freakish wrongness because I wasn't textbook INFJ. Looking back, I'm suspect that she wasn't as skilled as she claimed. ;)
 
I am a bit uncertain on how to answer a few of the questions of the test, so I did it again, not much difference to me but
first time :
Te (Extroverted Thinking) (50%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (100%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (35%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (40%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (60%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (45%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - infj


Second time:



Te (Extroverted Thinking) (55%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (100%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity


Se (Extroverted Sensing)
(10%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (40%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (55%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (40%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - unclear

Yeah. Based on the looks I usually get from people I think the type "unclear" fits me like a glove
 
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I am a bit uncertain on how to answer a few of the questions of the test, so I did it again, not much difference to me but
first time :
Te (Extroverted Thinking) (50%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (100%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (35%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (40%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (60%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (45%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - infj


Second time:



Te (Extroverted Thinking) (55%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (100%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity


Se (Extroverted Sensing)
(10%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (40%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (55%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (40%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - unclear

Yeah. Based on the looks I usually get from people I think the type "unclear" fits me like a glove

Try maybe doing that other test I've linked too. It was less unclear for me.
 
Vic

If your first introduction to the world of Myers-Briggs was through an online test, chances are you’re confused about your type. Online tests are notorious for giving inaccurate/changing results, for the following reasons:

(1) The questions are overly theoretical and can be unclear.

(2) The self-bias factor (that is, seeing yourself as you’d like to be rather than as you are) skews results immensely. This is true for any self-assessment quiz.

(3) Most of the free online Myers-Briggs quizzes test using the letter dichotomies (Telling you you’re an I or an E, an F or a T, etc.) rather than employing the underlying theory of Type Psychology – the cognitive functions.

What are these “Cognitive Functions?”
Glad you asked. Cognitive functions are the technical term for “Modes of processing information and making decisions based on your Myers-Briggs type.” Each type has four (out of a possible eight) cognitive functions, which they use in a specific order. Identifying which functions you use – and in what order – is the most accurate way to type yourself or anyone else. The functions necessitate the four-letter type, not the other way around. This is why the best way to determine your type is to either visit a practitioner who types using cognitive functions, or to educate yourself on them and determine which ones you use.

Tell me more about these functions!
Of the eight cognitive functions, four are extroverted (oriented toward action and interaction with the world around you) and four are introverted (oriented toward analysis and reflection). Regardless of whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, we each have two extroverted functions and two introverted functions. Extroverts just prefer using their main extroverted function over their main introverted function and vice versa.

Of the eight cognitive functions, four are perceptive (focused on taking in new information and examining possibilities) and four are decision-based (focused on reaching conclusions and implementing plans). Regardless of whether you’re a perceiver or a judger, we each have two perceptive functions and two judging ones.

Overall, you have one extroverted perceptive function, one introverted perceptive function, one extroverted judgment function and one introverted judgment function.

Of those functions, one is an intuitive function, one is a sensing function, one is a thinking function and one is a feeling function. This explains why Thinkers occasionally have feelings and Feelers occasionally make logical decisions. It also explains why Perceivers can sometimes be very structured and Judgers can sometimes go with the flow. We’re all a bit of everything, but your type is ultimately determined by which cognitive functions you have and what order you use them in.

So what are my options?
Great, let’s get to it. Here is an overview of the eight cognitive functions:

Perceptive Functions:


Extroverted Intuition (Ne):

Extroverted intuition generates new possibilities, synthesizes abstract ideas and picks up on connections in the external environment. Extroverted intuition is capable of entertaining multiple contradictory ideas simultaneously as it sees almost every side to every situation. It is predominantly a future-oriented function that examines all the possibilities of what could happen next.

People who lead with extroverted intuition are usually excitable, entrepreneurial and highly creative. They intrinsically enjoy debating ideas, exploring various interests and they view almost everything in life as a challenge. They are constantly thinking about what to do or experience next, but have a difficult time sticking with just one idea or plan long-term.

Introverted Intuition (Ni):

Introverted intuition forms a framework of how the world works based on thorough, abstract analysis of past and current events. It aims to identify the ‘essence’ of ideas, theories, people and situations in order to fit them into a larger schema. Introverted intuition is a forward thinking function that seeks to identify the optimal or most likely outcome of future events.

People who lead with introverted intuition are usually intense, focused and highly perceptive of inconsistencies that arise in their external environment. They enjoy riddles, puzzles and wordplay. They often experience ‘hunches’ or ‘aha’ moments that they may identify as epiphanies. Their intense foresight is a product of their future-oriented introverted intuition subtly pairing with their inferior extroverted sensing.

Extroverted Sensing (Se):

Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.

People who lead with extroverted sensing are often naturally athletic, highly impulsive and enjoy ever-changing stimuli. They place a high value on aesthetics and lust after the ‘finer things in life.’ Extroverted sensors usually aren’t interested in over-analyzing a situation – they simply see what they want and they go for it. These types tend to exude a natural sense of confidence, as they are usually quite sure of who they are and what they want.

Introverted Sensing (Si):

Introverted sensing is a detail-oriented, information storage function. It takes note of facts, events and occurrences exactly as they happen and categorizes them, somewhat like an internal filing system. This is a past-oriented function that dwells predominantly on what has been and it often gives way to nostalgia.

People who lead with introverted sensing are organized and structured, as they believe in being prepared for any potential mishap. They hold tradition in high esteem and believe that the tried and true method is always the best way of getting things done. Introverted sensors believe that the future will repeat the past, more so than any other type.

Judging/Decision-Making Functions:

Introverted Feeling (Fi):

Introverted feeling is the in-depth analysis of emotional processes and morality. It seeks to break down emotions to their core and understand them as wholly as possible. It also develops a strong internal system of right and wrong, which the Fi user employs to make decisions. Introverted feeling searches for the deeper meaning behind absolutely everything. Introverted feelers are highly aware of and in touch with their own emotions, and when they put themselves in the shoes of others, they can often feel their pain or joy on a personal level.

People who lead with introverted feeling are compassionate, analytical and often highly concerned with moral issues. They are usually highly creative or artistic, and may feel as though nobody else truly understands who they are deep down. Because their feelings are introverted, Fi-dominant types aren’t always comfortable expressing how they feel outwardly. They have a rich inner world that they want to guard and yet they often secretly wish that others were capable of tapping into it.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe):

Extroverted feeling is highly concerned with maintaining social norms and keeping the peace. It is a decision-making function that strives to do what is best for the group and picks up naturally on the emotions of others. It is a mirroring function that may cause the user to have trouble deciphering their own feelings without the input of others. Extroverted feeling requires social interaction to stay fulfilled, more so than any other function.

People who lead with extroverted feeling are highly reactive to the feelings of others. They seek out social interaction relentlessly, as they feel the happiest and most alive when they are in the company of loved ones. They seek to maintain harmony and keep the peace at all costs – they cannot fully enjoy themselves unless the people around them are healthy, happy and comfortable.


Extroverted Thinking (Te):

Extroverted thinking seeks to impose order on the external environment as efficiently and logically as possible. It values productivity above all else and is a results-based, action-oriented function. Extroverted thinking naturally implements concrete plans for accomplishing goals and is quick to make decisions.

People who lead with extroverted thinking are frank, decisive and highly productive in every capacity. They are natural leaders in the workplace as they are quick to take charge and impose order. Dominant extroverted thinkers may come across as bossy or opinionated to those who lack the function, but in reality they are simply pointing out what they believe to be the most efficient course of action for everyone involved.

Introverted Thinking (Ti):

Introverted thinking is an information-gathering function that seeks to form a framework for how the world works on a concrete, tangible level. It is adept at understanding systems and naturally notices inconsistencies within them. Introverted thinking seeks a thorough understanding of how things work – it wants to deconstruct things to look at the individual parts and see how things function as a whole.

People who lead with introverted thinking are logical, systematic and objective to a fault. They enjoy finding ‘short-cuts’ that increase efficiency within a given system. Ti-dominants are often heavily introverted, as they take a great deal of time to understand how things work before they feel comfortable sharing or acting on their knowledge.

Which type uses which functions?
It is important to note that you cannot pick and choose cognitive functions: They work in specific groups, some of which are mutually exclusive. For example, you cannot have extroverted feeling AND introverted feeling: You have one or the other.

Also, the order in which you use each function is incredibly important. While looking at the types, think of which functions you use all the time, which you use some of the time, and which you rarely use. You may not even notice yourself using your third and fourth functions on a regular basis, so it’s best to identify which two functions you use most regularly.

How do I know what order I use my functions in?

It can be confusing trying to figure this out. We’re often more aware of our second function than our first, as we are somewhat removed from our second function and can see it more objectively.

Think of it like this: You are in a swimming pool and your first (or “dominant”) function is the water. It’s everywhere. It’s what you do without thinking about it. It’s your natural first impulse to every situation – it comes to you so naturally that you may not even notice yourself using it.

Your second function (known as your auxiliary function) is like the ladder, or the waterslide. To an extent, you can choose to use it or not use it. You are very aware of its presence. You can’t make it go away, but you can temporarily ignore it. You have to swim through the water to get there.

Your third and fourth functions (Or your “tertiary” and “inferior” functions) are less accessible to you, as you may not fully develop them until you are nearing middle age. When you’re younger, your third and fourth functions are primarily called upon when you are under stress. If you started drowning in the water, your tertiary and inferior functions would be the life raft that you cling to. Eventually, you can integrate them to become pool toys that you use on a regular basis. Once you’ve done this, you will finally have a well-balanced, relaxing pool experience. We can also refer to this as type actualization.

The breakdown of functions and the order in which they’re used is as follows for each type:

ENFP: Ne – Fi – Te – Si
INFP: Fi – Ne – Si – Te
INFJ: Ni – Fe – Ti – Se
ENFJ: Fe – Ni – Se – Ti
ISTJ: Si – Te – Fi – Ne
ESTJ: Te – Si – Ne – Fi
ISTP: Ti – Se – Ni – Fe
ESTP: Se – Ti – Fe – Ni
INTJ: Ni – Te – Fi – Se
INTP: Ti – Ne – Si – Fe
ENTJ: Te – Ni – Se – Fi
ENTP: Ne – Ti – Fe – Si
ISFJ: Si – Fe – Ti – Ne
ISFP: Fi – Se – Ni – Te
ESFJ: Fe – Si – Ne – Ti
ESFP: Se – Fi – Te – Ni

Any type can, theoretically, access any of the eight cognitive functions, but tapping into a function that is not part of your type’s stacking will be an incredibly exhausting experience.

Why is it important to know about functions?
Understanding cognitive functions is imperative to understanding type. The four-letter dichotomies cannot possibly explain the complexity of our personalities – we are all thinkers, feelers, sensors and intuitives in various situations. The cognitive functions allow us to understand when we use each function and how it impacts our decision-making process.



Cognitive functions also help us to distinguish between types with clarity. No more thinking you’re an ENFP/J! Now you know that ENFPs and ENFJs actually share zero cognitive functions. If you’re an ENFP who employs a great deal of structure into your life, it simply means you’ve developed your extroverted thinking function effectively.

Lastly, having a thorough understanding of cognitive functions helps us understand how type can develop without actually changing (theoretically type does not/cannot change throughout a lifetime). An INFP may begin developing their extroverted thinking in their thirties or forties but that does not mean they are now an INTP! It simply means they are becoming a more well-rounded version of their own type.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-pri...pe-read-this-an-intro-to-cognitive-functions/
 
This seems about right.

Te (Extroverted Thinking) (40%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (90%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (85%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (55%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (5%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (35%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (25%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (35%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - intp
 
Interesting exchange:
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/743426-fi-ti.html#/topics/743426?page=1

On Fi/Ti

Fi - loneliness (unsatiated social desire)
Ti - distance (deliberate abstinence from social interaction)


Thoughts?

Speaking for the Ti users, I believe they can certainly feel loneliness and include it as a component of their "rational" worldview to be solved/worked through (or not, as the case may be). In fact I can see how this might be triggered by an unfulfilled Fe need for harmony / belonging. Dominant Ti types enjoy being "different" but probably aren't as enthusiastic about the reality of rarely making connections with others.
 
Interesting exchange:
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/743426-fi-ti.html#/topics/743426?page=1

On Fi/Ti

Fi - loneliness (unsatiated social desire)
Ti - distance (deliberate abstinence from social interaction)


Thoughts?
Yes. Interesting. I wouldn't have made such a paradigm, because I came to identify Fi as a source of loneliness because of how it works in its specific position in the INFJ stack(Fi: Personal feelings/values, Fi as a Critic=criticises personal feelings/values), but I see how the consideration made above goes... Still, following what we agreed on in our previous discussions, I would associate a healthy, well developed Fi to an inherent sense of self worth because: if I rely mostly on my feelings, and I have no doubt they are valid, then I don't need others to validate them= I can withstand to be alone with them if others don't agree. But here comes in handy something I read about INFPs(Fi doms), that is, that unlike INFJs that tend to feel lonely because no one understands them(I already extensively explained how and why I think this is just a superficial take on the matter) INFP tend to feel lonely/misunderstood because others don't validate their good intentions(probably also a superficial consideration). I think I could say this means INFPs feel that their feeling-based actions are not validated by others because others fail to see how these feelings are valid, the way INFPs do. Which makes sense in our society...I think most wouldn't consider it a good idea to make Fi based decisions, but INFP with their high refined Fi might know better.
This said, I'm not convinced that Fi would necessarily connect to feeling lonely or, better, disconnected. It seems obvious at first glance, but then I think it through and meh. I don't see it anymore.
 
Try maybe doing that other test I've linked too. It was less unclear for me.
I might, but I don't think it would be of any use...I mean, those percentages(?) are not something fixed, I am not something fixed(oooh weeee I can tell), so, as far as I get a an idea of my "cognitive inclinations" I'm satisfied with the test.
But I am curious now about your relationship with you Fi, since you said it might be your problem. Why is that? Is it not helpful? Is it not something of this sort
An INFP may begin developing their extroverted thinking in their thirties or forties but that does not mean they are now an INTP! It simply means they are becoming a more well-rounded version of their own type.
?
Doesn't it make you feel like a more well-rounded INTP? Or an INTP with a Fuper Power?
Sorry for the question-shower ._.
 
Doesn't it make you feel like a more well-rounded INTP? Or an INTP with a Fuper Power?
Sorry for the question-shower ._.
No appologies needed @Vienna . Questions help us both learn. ;) there is no such thing as super powers. lol.

I believe yes, once a person strengthens their weaker attributes, traits and improves their character it makes them a well-rounded individual over all. This doesn't mean ignoring our strengths while doing this...think of it like a flacid muscle. If we don't work on all our muscle groups and instead only focus on one group, that one group becomes powerful while the other drifts to the background from the lack of use and grows soft and weak.

I don't believe that our personality type inherently changes, but rather our comfortable level of processing changes. When we look at life through a different lense, our vista changes; the more changes of the lense the more we change, and hopefully grow. This is applicable to the mind as well. The more we use our cognitive abilities, the wiser we become...if we let pieces of the mind go dormant, or get lazy....well that would be unwise, wouldn't you agree?

Oh, just from curiosity, what is your type?
 
I might, but I don't think it would be of any use...I mean, those percentages(?) are not something fixed, I am not something fixed(oooh weeee I can tell), so, as far as I get a an idea of my "cognitive inclinations" I'm satisfied with the test.
But I am curious now about your relationship with you Fi, since you said it might be your problem. Why is that? Is it not helpful? Is it not something of this sort

?
Doesn't it make you feel like a more well-rounded INTP? Or an INTP with a Fuper Power?
Sorry for the question-shower ._.

Total cognitive-dissonance, feelings are randomfuck vs. rationality, but rationality overrides feelings, unless they are too strong (i.e. panic attack).
I'm trying to be more open now, I'm a very closed person otherwise. lol. I think it helps, at least to better understand myself.
 
Total cognitive-dissonance, feelings are randomfuck vs. rationality, but rationality overrides feelings, unless they are too strong (i.e. panic attack).
I'm trying to be more open now, I'm a very closed person otherwise. lol. I think it helps, at least to better understand myself.
Ok I see... I'm very closed and trying to be more open too, so far, it's paying back. I'm giving you an imaginary supportive pat on the shoulder.


Oh, just from curiosity, what is your type?
INFJ
the specifics seem to be something like
Te (Extroverted Thinking) (50%)
your valuation of / adherence to logic of external systems / hierarchies / methods

Ti (Introverted Thinking) (80%)
your valuation of / adherence to your own internally devised logic/rational

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) (65%)
your valuation of / tendency towards free association and creating with external stimuli

Ni (Introverted Intuition) (100%)
your valuation of / tendency towards internal/original free association and creativity

Se (Extroverted Sensing) (35%)
your valuation of / tendency to fully experience the world unfiltered, in the moment

Si (Introverted Sensing) (40%)
your valuation of / focus on internal sensations and reliving past moments

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) (60%)
your valuation of / adherence to external morals, ethics, traditions, customs, groups

Fi (Introverted Feeling) (45%)
your valuation of / adherence to the sanctity of your own feelings / ideals / sentiment

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
based on your results your type is likely - infj
 
I have a very strong Fe
But they say Fe is the cure for INFJs. So I'll get back to you to investigate it.

Hello @Sandie33 , it's been a while, hope all is well.
I'm back for Fe, as I announced v.v
I only have one question(well, few similar ones) about the matter (since I read about this Fe in theory, but I still cannot identify it clearly in my fuctioning, and I thus need rl examples), and that is: how do you use Fe? What are the most satisfying things you do with it/you accomplish with it? Do you have any examples?
 
Hello @Sandie33 , it's been a while, hope all is well.
I'm back for Fe, as I announced v.v
I only have one question(well, few similar ones) about the matter (since I read about this Fe in theory, but I still cannot identify it clearly in my fuctioning, and I thus need rl examples), and that is: how do you use Fe? What are the most satisfying things you do with it/you accomplish with it? Do you have any examples?
Hi @Vienna how are you? Things here are well and slowly getting back to normal.

The Fe for me in real life? "How you experience it and how useful it is for you depends on how well it is developed and that depends on mostly your age." This quote is very true for me. Life experience has strengthened my Fe. Since it is focused in the ecternal world, humanity and kindness is its forte. From my own experiences I have found that when others around me are happy and their needs met I'm personally satisfied. Please don't confuse that with 'I'm happy', as that it two entirely different "feelings". I spend an enormous amount of time and energy volunteering in my community. My focus tends to be on the collective whole as opposed to self. Selfless, not selfish.

"When people with dominant Fe go to make a decision, the first decision criteria they use is values rather than objective facts. For extraverted feeling these values are more cultural values and values relating to human kind as a whole, rather than personal values which is what introverted feeling (Fi) is about.

Thus people with dominant Fe will first consider the impact a decision may have on the greater good, and the people around them. They do this instinctively."

Bare with me as I try to put this into verbiage. My personal decisions are not based on others' input or opinion. I have a deep sense of grounding and value based sense of self. The part about how my decisions and their effect on others is truly instinctual. I have an uncanny knowingness of what the other person (s) may need. That diddy about an INFJ knowing what the other person wants or needs often before that person does is very true--but, only if you observe it. I've always put others ahead of myself and learned with maturity not to sacrifice myself, (martyrdom), in my efforts to assist another. When I was younger I felt like the proverbial 'doormat' because much of my efforts for others were not returned back to me. That's Fi speak--what about me, how does this give me a reward...Selfishness to some. Once I realized that I needed to toss my personal expectations of the outcome and accept that the person/people I am assisting are doing the best they can in the experience, that is when Fe became more comfortable and I gained much satisfaction (happiness:P) from my efforts. Necause of this my decision making process became more refined, using the "good choice, bad choice, no choice at all" criteria resulted in my making wiser decisions for myself and the others involved.

As for examples, I have a bloggy-like thread called Blogging For Exercise. I have written of many examples of Fe in action, though they don't say so, it is implied within the story ;). You could go in there and read.

I, like anyone, struggle with understanding myself and others, however, I do have a broad grasp of me, myself and I. It has taken much selfwork to get here. To understand that most my energy cones from retrospection, yet some comes from being around people and seeing/helping them overcome an obstacle of some sort. I believe, partly because of my being Introvert dominant, yet extroverted at times, I don't feel the need for outer acceptance, (I am quite independent, almost equal on Ni and Ne), before making a decision, only a goal result of outer harmony from others and knowing that the decision is beneficial to all. What happens when I don't meet this goal? It saddens me, but I move on looking for the benefit of the experience even when it goes bad. A rule I remember is that people are not inherently bad, however they're behaviors are at times, they can't change their personality, but they can change their behavior :D
 
Hi @Vienna how are you? Things here are well and slowly getting back to normal.
I'm glad to hear that. I'm coping well, thank you.
I realized that I needed to toss my personal expectations of the outcome and accept that the person/people I am assisting are doing the best they can in the experience
This. I think this is what I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm not sure if I ever really had the "doormat" feeling, but I did experience having great expectations on people followed by atomic disappointments, which led me to dismiss them. Now that I think of it, after reading what you wrote, I picture that as a tabletennis match between my Fe and Fi ("go and help them, you know how to guide them to what they're supposed to be!" vs "they're not proving themselves worthy, run away before they let you down"). But lately, I just decided to do whatever I can without exhausting myself, and to be accepting of whatever the outcomes are, trying to dismiss my expectiations rather than the person (xD)
Also, I realize I have some difficulty with Fe because at first it feels a bit uneffective. Let me explain. It's like it has this great potential to make an impact, but then, it is so gentle that it doesn't feel like it's really making any difference. I'm beginning to see that maybe it's not really like that. It does do something. And yes, by letting go of the expectation, I feel how the effect of my efforts might be somewhat wider than what I expected.
Thank you, and I'll check out your bloggy-like thread ;)
 
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