Thoughts From A Tired Soul

[mintoots]

He's gone.

Dad transitioned at 10:23 pm, however, we waited until after midnight for the officiator and the undertaker was delayed more than two hours to pick him up.

It was difficult to watch him carried away in that black body bag.

Now I'm trying to envision a world without Dad in it.

I am deeply sorry for your loss, Sandie. May he rest in peace.

 

[Sandie33]

peace

Thank you Min ♡

 

[Sandie33]

 

[MoonFlier]

How are you doing Sandie? Hope you're not alone.

 

[Sandie33]

How are you doing Sandie? Hope you're not alone.

I'm OK, thank you for asking.
Friends and family are calling and stopping in.

One friend brought me a 'care package' from the girls from the club bar, lol. Chili, corn muffins, chocolate cake, brownies, blueberry muffins, chips & dip, paper and utensils so I don't have to dishes...lol

That was thoughtful of them.

I've noticed how each of them process grief through their tummy.

I was able to get Dad's story boards done. I think it reflects his life quite well.

Still processing it all. Making phone calls, which I can't do much until I get the death certificate. Yesterday I bought a green sweater duster. Dad's favorite color was green, gold, back and red. I convinced all the kids and grandchildren to wear something green. I bought my funeral hat too ....

Spoiler: black hat club

We family have a thing about wearing hats to funerals...mostly because of the decades joke about the black hat club, lol.

 

[Sandie33]

And so it begins...she, and I'm sure we know who I refer to when I say she, has not talked to me.

I'm okay with it, really.

Her best pal stopped in last night. She was fishing around for me to tell where the chips are going to lay.

I'm going to lose my family after Thursday...and I'm okay with it.

 

[aeon]

@Sandie33

The boats that sail most true have hulls which are free of barnacles.

May you sail free and with grace, for you know where the North Star rises.

Namaste,
Ian

 

[Sandie33]

@Sandie33

The boats that sail most true have hulls which are free of barnacles.

May you sail free and with grace, for you know where the North Star rises.

Namaste,
Ian

Words of wisdom Ian, ty

 

[Sandie33]

I took a me day today. Awoke just before 3am, turned my phone off and enjoyed my coffee and blueberry muffin. Then I proceeded to take a nap for over an hour and just woke up about 15 minutes ago.

My phone sounded like slots at a casino when I turned it back on...hehehe.

It feels good to begin the process of feeling good again.

 

[John K]

It must feel really strange not having your dad to take care of Sandie. I hope it's the start of a new freedom for you as well as a sadness.

Don't let the Sackville-Baggins's get you down! Use your magic ring if you need to!

 

[Sandie33]

Don't let the Sackville-Baggins's get you down! Use your magic ring if you need to!

Oh my yes!

New It must feel really strange not having your dad to take care of Sandie.

It does feel strange yet liberating. For him I'm sure too. My go to currently is knowing he is no longer suffering these horrendous diseases. I watched him every day regress further and further. Once his body started to give way it lasted exactly a week. That week felt like hours. I am still marveling at how simplistic his actual passing was. I'm happy for him it was quick.

I do oh so miss him though. The house is so quiet that I've been continually playing the instrumental music station that I had on for him. It provides background noise and breaks up the silence.

I'll get the death certificates tomorrow. Friday I'll be changing all the house accounts into my name.

Today I mowed much of the lawn until I got too tired.

My neice is on her way here now. A four hour drive for her. I hope she's tired bc I'm back to trying my old sleep schedule and will not be staying up to wee hours. Tomorrow will be stressful enough and with no sleep I'd be grumpy.

 

[Sandie33]

@John K ....

Don't let the Sackville-Baggins's get you down! Use your magic ring if you need to!

Spooky spider senses you weild .... I received a magic ring at Dad's funeral this morning. My Aunt, father's sister, gave me my Grandmother's ring with each of her ten children's birthstones in it!

Isn't that awesome sauce !?!

My Aunt hadn't known that same grandmother had died on my 12th birthday ... stong juju in a 'birthstone ' ring of hers, ehe?

 

[MoonFlier]

@John K ....

Spooky spider senses you weild .... I received a magic ring at Dad's funeral this morning. My Aunt, father's sister, gave me my Grandmother's ring with each of her ten children's birthstones in it!
View attachment 89766
Isn't that awesome sauce !?!

My Aunt hadn't known that same grandmother had died on my 12th birthday ... stong juju in a 'birthstone ' ring of hers, ehe?

That is so beautiful. Strong memories tied to that ring.

 

[Sandie33]

That is so beautiful. Strong memories tied to that ring.

Yes, strong memories ♡

My kitchen table is full of flowers

 

[John K]

@John K ....

Spooky spider senses you weild .... I received a magic ring at Dad's funeral this morning. My Aunt, father's sister, gave me my Grandmother's ring with each of her ten children's birthstones in it!
View attachment 89766
Isn't that awesome sauce !?!

My Aunt hadn't known that same grandmother had died on my 12th birthday ... stong juju in a 'birthstone ' ring of hers, ehe?

That's so fitting! You can't get much more magic than that! It's beautiful because of what it means as well as how it looks <3

 

[Sandie33]

Feeling a bit of nervous tension this evening. We bury Dad tomorrow afternoon.

I've been working doubly hard to keep the flowers alive. However, the funeral director kept the floral ring from the service to lay on mom's & Dad's headstone after it's all settled back in place.

Temperature is set for low 40's with a chance of snow.

Snow ?!? wtf. Anyhoo....I'll see who will brave the weather tomorrow. ♡

 

[Gaze]

Sorry this is late, but my condolences @Sandie33 <3 <3

 

[Sandie33]

Sorry this is late, but my condolences @Sandie33 <3 <3

Thank you Gaze

 

[Sandie33]

brave the weather tomorrow

No snow, no show ... erhem, I mean the sun rose bright and gray clouds parted for the two of us who placed Dad in his eternal dirt nap today.

All kidding aside, the reverend did a beautiful blessing over mom & Dad this afternoon. My youngest sister and I had warm chairs at graveside. The wind blew terrible though.

I hung tough...that is until I placed two roses on the stone. I cried then. I haven't been able to until today. Now with both of them at peace I think my soul is lighter. My promises are complete to each.

My sister, the mean one, and I QUOTE, wrote "All about you" on my picture of the roses and headstone I put in my Facebook album. Instead of snapping back with an of course it's all about me it's my Facebook album, lol, I simply wrote "We said a prayer for you today too."

I mean geeish, how much more am I to endure from her? Zip. Nada. Nothing. I had sent her a text from the cemetery, I thought she'd want to at least be on speaker phone for his service. I'm blocked.

So let it be.

She told me once in 2009 that I was dead to her...now is my chance to rest in peace. And, so I will.

Still a 6-ton of paper work to wade through and get done...but, with the law offices help, it will work out and I can move on.

♡ I'm good.

 

[Sandie33]

I spent an hour writing last night.

Feels good to have good use of time now.