This thing called relationships...

Well, for one it sounds like you should find some new friends (doesn't mean you have to get rid of them), if you feel that out of place and you are that different from them.

Also, I can understand your desire for a relationship, believe me I really do. I also am very picky and exacting in what I want, and I have to come to realise that I need a certian kind of person, and the likelyhood of me meeting them is very low.

If you really want some experience though, then look for someone. They might not be perfect, but if they are good enough to go for a little while, then go for it. It is better to at least test the waters a little bit, knowing it won't be great, then to do nothing at all. This way, you will have some experience. You also will learn ALOT about yourself and how you act in relationships, which is actually very important, and hard to imagine outside of actually having one.

 

The thing is, you might think about it and have all these great ideas for relationships; it looks great on paper. However, once you get involved you realise they don't always translate over.

Just try putting your self out there more. I know this is easier said then done, but you should. If you are shy about it try using internet sites.

 

EFT is very very useful. I only implement it a bit though (I should do it more, life just distracts me).

I use dating sites a bit. What I do is, I make a profile, I am honest about myself and don't say much. I wait for people to come to me, and filter as such. It might not do anything right away, but it might bring a plesent surpize down the road.

 

That means, that you're doing it wrong. She's treating you like a girlfriend, because you probably act like one.

My track record is not that great either, but at least I'm getting better and better results lately, so I think I'm going in the right direction. The key was that I was greatly misguided by our society stereotypes on gender roles.

The popular myth says that men are pigs, their needs are filthy and repulsing to women (there's even a thread on this forum). And if you ask a girl what she wants, she would commonly say things like "sensitive, romantic, attentive" and so on. So a sensitive guy like me would come to a misguided conclusion that these desired qualities sound remarkably like him, but that he must also suppress his own "dirty" needs in order to get a girlfriend. And guess what - it never works! The guys who are indifferent, uncaring, even abusive are the ones who have no problems on finding a girl. At that point the romantic would feel cheated and undervalued. They would face a terrible dilemma: either betray themselves and become one of the "bad" guys or be forever lonely.

But it doesn't have to be like this. If you go to the beginning, the needs of a man are no "dirtier" than those of a woman. We both need emotional connection and sex and we can't have it while being alone. You have a full right to express this to a girl - and if she cannot handle that, then it's her problem. In fact if you suppress it, most girls would assume that you're not interested and would automatically assign you to a "friends" category. If you do it right at the beginning then you can be as romantic and sensitive as you want.

The formula comes down to this (SN satisfied sexual needs, EN satisfied emotional needs):

SN - EN = an unfulfilled relationship
EN - SN = "mr nice guy"
SN + EN = a happy relationship

 

by all means spread the word if you find it useful

Or even better - read this book. It's where this stuff came from and it's explained in much greater detail.

 

That is precicely why I only use it in small ammounts.

 

Yuck. That's rough! I'll be keeping this analogy in mind, darkstar.