The right to die?

[Skarekrow]

I am in full agreement. I will never forget the last appointment my brother, who was dying from AIDS, had. His doctor gave me enough morphine to stop a freight train. Keep in mind I am an RN and was my brother's nurse as he required daily IV infusions to maintain what life he had. . I ask why the morphine and the doc said< "you'll know when to use it". . I didn't need to, but I was grateful for the option had the need arisen. In truth, physician assisted suicide has been around for a long time, just quietly. .
We know when there is no hope. . and we know that God is not going to intervene. .it is cruel and pointless to force people to suffer for no reason when we have the means to stop it. I hope that if I am in that situation I will be allowed to make that decision for myself and not have to suffer. . and I want that option for my loved ones as well.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your story though, it's much appreciated.
I want to try to get to everyone in order over the course of the next week, lol, we'll see, haha!

My older brother has HIV currently.
I know his wishes and he doesn't want to suffer should it ever come to that.
He's doing really well though, he's had it since 1996 I think?
Always has really great counts - he had one time a couple years ago where he dipped down and they put him on some strong shit until they came back up.
He's super healthy otherwise, eats really well, teaches yoga sometimes but does it daily, he's ripped, not big ripped, but strong ripped.
When our Dad was passing we had a great hospice RN who was okay talking about such things as assisting someone passing over.
I know not all of them are as forthcoming, though I'm sure it must be something they get asked about a lot.
I'd rather not get too detailed into the actual death of my Dad, but we were all there (5 kids and my Mom).
That much was good.
My body immediately shut me down right after he passed.
I helped my Mom get him ready for the funeral home to pick him up, after that I got this horrendous migraine and couldn't even move off the couch for a couple of hours - it had been months of tension building waiting for him to pass, wondering if this was the day it would happen - sure it must be today as he looked worse each time I came over.
I took a couple of months off of work to be there with him in his final days.
He started agonal breathing and we were sure it must be that day if not the next...a full two weeks later he finally passed on.
It was not an easy one.
My heart goes out to you!!

 

[David54]

I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your story though, it's much appreciated.
I want to try to get to everyone in order over the course of the next week, lol, we'll see, haha!

My older brother has HIV currently.
I know his wishes and he doesn't want to suffer should it ever come to that.
He's doing really well though, he's had it since 1996 I think?
Always has really great counts - he had one time a couple years ago where he dipped down and they put him on some strong shit until they came back up.
He's super healthy otherwise, eats really well, teaches yoga sometimes but does it daily, he's ripped, not big ripped, but strong ripped.
When our Dad was passing we had a great hospice RN who was okay talking about such things as assisting someone passing over.
I know not all of them are as forthcoming, though I'm sure it must be something they get asked about a lot.
I'd rather not get too detailed into the actual death of my Dad, but we were all there (5 kids and my Mom).
That much was good.
My body immediately shut me down right after he passed.
I helped my Mom get him ready for the funeral home to pick him up, after that I got this horrendous migraine and couldn't even move off the couch for a couple of hours - it had been months of tension building waiting for him to pass, wondering if this was the day it would happen - sure it must be today as he looked worse each time I came over.
I took a couple of months off of work to be there with him in his final days.
He started agonal breathing and we were sure it must be that day if not the next...a full two weeks later he finally passed on.
It was not an easy one.
My heart goes out to you!!

And to you. It is a very difficult role to play..for me, it was up to me to not grieve, but to take care of everything and everyone..

 

[Skarekrow]

And to you. It is a very difficult role to play..for me, it was up to me to not grieve, but to take care of everything and everyone..

Sorry that you didn't get a chance at that time, that's a difficult role to take on, but sometimes necessary.
You did your best I'm sure, that's all we can do in such situations.
I hope you've been able to grieve in your own time and find some peace.

 

[David54]

Sorry that you didn't get a chance at that time, that's a difficult role to take on, but sometimes necessary.
You did your best I'm sure, that's all we can do in such situations.
I hope you've been able to grieve in your own time and find some peace.

it is haunting, but the years have provided healing. . and I will always question decision I made. .but I did the best I could

 

[David54]

and I am sorry for what you went through with your father. it is so hard to watch and be so helpless as loved ones fade away. . and knowing the final outcomes. .I hope it is now a peaceful memory

 

[Skarekrow]

and I am sorry for what you went trough with your father. it is so hard to watch and be so helpless as loved ones fade away. . and knowing the final outcomes. .I hope it is now a peaceful memory

Thank you.
I think losing a parent or family member is something that will always contain a measure of sadness no matter how.
I was lucky that I was able to spend some time with him and talk to him while he still could before he went.
Many don't get a chance to say goodbye like that.
I know he's still around...he's helped me when I really needed it I feel.

 

[David54]

yes, , I was with John 6 hours a day for his last 2 years. .I treasure every moment

 

[Disguised]

Being suicidal since, uhm, a long time, I wouldn't support it afterwards. It's a real tough question but I think the real problem is in ways that we cope with whatever it is that troubles us. And when we compare our lives to that what others have. Misery is always there. It's different if you talk about chronic illness or parkinsons or something that could reallly mean the end of life. I don't want to put mental issues down as second, but I think with the right tools the mind can be operated in the way it should be. In a way that is tolerable to the person at question.

Say that I had an early onset of parkinsons and a two years left to live normally. I would most likely want to die on my own, but I'd like it if there was someone who understood it and gave me the recipe or whatever to end it when the time comes. Even better if the person could embrace me to say goodbyes to my friends and family.

So in a way I support it, and in a way I don't. I get it, but I wouldn't want people to make hasty decisions on it..

 

[Skarekrow]

Being suicidal since, uhm, a long time, I wouldn't support it afterwards. It's a real tough question but I think the real problem is in ways that we cope with whatever it is that troubles us. And when we compare our lives to that what others have. Misery is always there. It's different if you talk about chronic illness or parkinsons or something that could reallly mean the end of life. I don't want to put mental issues down as second, but I think with the right tools the mind can be operated in the way it should be. In a way that is tolerable to the person at question.

Say that I had an early onset of parkinsons and a two years left to live normally. I would most likely want to die on my own, but I'd like it if there was someone who understood it and gave me the recipe or whatever to end it when the time comes. Even better if the person could embrace me to say goodbyes to my friends and family.

So in a way I support it, and in a way I don't. I get it, but I wouldn't want people to make hasty decisions on it..

I agree.
I also had my own suicide attempt that put me in the hospital for a week at 19.
There are ways to beat it yes...(though not always legal) I wholeheartedly believe that I was born with a depressed affect - I remember being very young and crying into my mother's lap and her asking me why I was crying.
I was unable to give any reason other than I just felt sad all the time.
So yes, the idea of taking your life due to psychological or existential suffering is touchy with me too.
There are always exceptions though, and I feel that so long as there are reasonable guideline that are strictly followed, that said person has proven their case to die basically, then it should be considered imho.
Here's a good article on someone who died in such a way - https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-45117163
29 seems a bit young, but someone's suffering is subjective and not easy to compare.

There was a Nurse who committed suicide who worked in the OR with me.
She found out she had cancer of some kind and actually stole some of the OR equipment to do it.
We have these orthopedic hoods we wear in certain surgeries like total joint replacements.

Spoiler

She took one home along with a small bottle of nitrous oxide (laughing gas), she ran an O2 line into the hood and injected herself with far too much insulin to wake up - very peaceful probably but sad that she felt she needed to resort to doing such a thing alone.
Though some folks are like that though...like a cat that goes under the porch to die alone, some people are the same way too.
Good to see you around!
Thanks for sharing!

 

[Wyote]

Being in incurable unbearable pain is not living anyway

 

[Skarekrow]

​

 

[slant]

I definitely wouldn't be the person to decide the merit of something like this.

I'm a goof.

But I gueeesss my thoughts were:

What are the long term societal implications if this were legal hypothetically on both fronts?

I actually have a story concept I'm going to write one day about a society where assisted suicide for mental health is legal and this guy's parents find out he's going to do it. It's a long formal process in this society with hoops you have to go through a so it takes a while. They hire a young woman actor to fall in love with him/ be his friend as a last ditch effort to save his life. This is also a common practice in this society so most people going through the process are aware their friends or family may try to do this but this actor is good and gains his trust. I don't know what else happens I haven't thought that far.

But it's interesting to think about how a society would look set up this way and what ramifications it would have on society as a whole

 

[Rit4lin]

I definitely wouldn't be the person to decide the merit of something like this.

I'm a goof.

But I gueeesss my thoughts were:

What are the long term societal implications if this were legal hypothetically on both fronts?

I actually have a story concept I'm going to write one day about a society where assisted suicide for mental health is legal and this guy's parents find out he's going to do it. It's a long formal process in this society with hoops you have to go through a so it takes a while. They hire a young woman actor to fall in love with him/ be his friend as a last ditch effort to save his life. This is also a common practice in this society so most people going through the process are aware their friends or family may try to do this but this actor is good and gains his trust. I don't know what else happens I haven't thought that far.

But it's interesting to think about how a society would look set up this way and what ramifications it would have on society as a whole

Have you seen the film 'Collateral Beauty'? It's not exactly like that but it's similar in that friends hire actors to pose as entities whom this man writes to, in an attempt to save him (and also their company). I was curious if you'd been inspired by it
(I also recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it, I found it to be a really nice film)

 

[slant]

Have you seen the film 'Collateral Beauty'? It's not exactly like that but it's similar in that friends hire actors to pose as entities whom this man writes to, in an attempt to save him (and also their company). I was curious if you'd been inspired by it
(I also recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it, I found it to be a really nice film)

Nope haven't seen it.

If I had, I definitely wouldn't try to write such a similar story !

 

[just me]

I know people who should be put out of their misery. It would make a lot of folk less miserable if they did.

 

[Skarekrow]

I know people who should be put out of their misery. It would make a lot of folk less miserable if they did.

Thanks for those deep words.

 

[just me]

See? I'm not always serious.

 

[Skarekrow]

Had you asked me this a year ago my answer would be different. Back then I couldn't fathom any sane person wanting to be dead, yet I saw compassion in allowing our pets to slip off to the permanent sleep when they were in pain that could not be fixed and beyond enjoyment of life.

This year I've seen some stuff with my dad's decline and have fully changed my mind. He'd be very upset to see himself this way. The problem is that even if it were allowed in the US as it is in Canada, the person would have to be of sound mind to make the decision to end their own life. This dementia crept out of nowhere fast right alongside his cancer.

I told my kids that if I develop dementia, point me to a raft and push me out to sea. (I joke as they'd be accused of attempted murder as I float back in on the next tide, Ha!) I don't want anyone mopping up my drool or changing diapers as I wait to die. No thanks. Bad for them, bad for me, bad for my kids to see me that way.

I also have strong faith that all will be okay after we're gone.

I'm so terribly sorry for the whole situation.
I'm sure you are doing your best, that is all anyone can do in such a situation like that.
It's amazing how few resources are available to help people navigate such major changes in his life and your life and the life of your loved ones.

Same with me...I don't want to wait until I cannot be self-sufficient.
I mean, past a certain point.
Your raft idea made me think of an alaskan native tale of putting their dying elderly on an ice floe and sending them off into the sea?
Not sure how accurate that is, lol.
Same here, I think being exposed to death as I was at work for so many years has forced me to deal with any feelings of existential dread that were there in regards to dying.
I mean, we either blink out and will not know it, or we will continue on somehow - and I don't believe in the concept of "Hell" or any other such thing, so I'm not afraid of any punishment business.
Many people cannot handle the fear and idea of it though - while still others don't like the idea of the pain associated.
I don't find it wrong to circumvent any unnecessary added suffering when the destination is inevitable.
But like you, I have faith that there is something and that we will be okay.

Hope you are well and your day is peaceful!
Much love!

 

[BritNi]

I am an advocate for death with dignity. I believe that if a person is of sound mind, terminally ill, and wish for doctor-assisted suicide, then they should have that right.

Religion is personal and I think that it's wrong to push those beliefs on another person in cases like this. If someone is against it, then no one is forcing them to do it. But, if a person is really sick and doesn't want to suffer any longer, then they should be free to consult with their medical doctor and go from there.

I decided long ago that I would rather commit suicide than be placed in a nursing home. But, I would only do it under the supervision of a doctor. I really hope that if the time ever comes, I will have the option.





I think that Dr. Kevorkian did good while he could. ...just sayin.

 

[BritNi]

Another note I want to add: I don't think that the practice should be forced upon all doctors. Like, if a doctor disagrees with it and doesn't want to assist someone with suicide, then he or she should not be forced to. That should be their choice too.