The Most Annoying Thing About INFJ's
- Thread starter Poetic Justice
- Start date
*listen and think*
"Dude you're so quiet all the time."
*talk*
"You know what your problem is, bro? You talk too much!"
The loop goes on forever. My ENTP dad always does this.
Edit: I don't really know any INFJs but it's very likely I've at least laid eyes on one before.
"Dude you're so quiet all the time."
*talk*
"You know what your problem is, bro? You talk too much!"
The loop goes on forever. My ENTP dad always does this.
Edit: I don't really know any INFJs but it's very likely I've at least laid eyes on one before.
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I dont know any other INFJs, sadly, so about being one - its reaaaally annoying to be so overwhelmed by your feelings. Breaking down easily. And loneliness.
Thats a big one
INTP's suffer that too
It's like I have to remind myself to look at things. Or rather, to notice that I'm looking at things
I add: not taking a decision unless you've explored all the possible paths inside your mind. And after some years, taking the same decision you would have taken at the beginning following your gut. This lead me to miss tons of opportunities & fun.
I think its interesting how often that comes up... in a lot of ways I am resentful towards like my father because he forced me into Se activities as a kid, sports, boxing, karate, fishing, bike riding, etc etc stuff that did not come easily to me at 1st... but then at some point I became really adept at using and mastering my body because of it. And in my later life like now, I tend to be very very aware of my environment, my body, and living in the moment. I often tell fellow INFJs (@sandra_b) live in the moment, just stuff those feelings and go for it, see what happens... I guess its hard for me to remember what life was like really before I got so physical. I am happy for it though. Its been my only respite from my haunted mind at times. Although engaging in Se for me, is not something thats on all the time. I usually have to work it up before its ON. Otherwise I tend to miss things a lot, I cant tell you how many times I was carrying something and I was thinking about something else, had a sudden memory of something else and forgot I was carrying something, reached into my pocket for the keys and then dropped all the stuff I had. Or how many times I make a move, instantly realize its going to hurt me immediately, like say stepping on a rake (cheesy example).
This will help. I started a thread about this years ago but people didn't seem to get it. I think it went over their heads tbh.
Copied this from a website. If interested I can provide more detail
If we are focused and make ourselves aware of what we are
doing at any particular moment we can learn to concentrate better and have
a more productive life. In
buddhism this is called ‘being in the moment’ or ‘mindfulness’.
Becoming more focused in uptime
your life if you practice focused mindful uptime and more relaxing downtime. Why
not try it or just let it go if it doesn’t work for
you.
Copied this from a website. If interested I can provide more detail
If we are focused and make ourselves aware of what we are
doing at any particular moment we can learn to concentrate better and have
a more productive life. In
buddhism this is called ‘being in the moment’ or ‘mindfulness’.
Becoming more focused in uptime
- To start becoming more focused take it a step at a time. For
the next week make a point to become aware of your surroundings on the
hour every waking hour. So for example your are in the office and
it’s 10
O’Clock become aware of your surroundings. Become aware of
the people sitting next to you, become aware of the caller you are speaking
to, their voice, their tone, their state. Just try and take in everything
around you and notice little things like the colour of the poster on the
wall, the smell in the office. This will kickstart your uptime focussing. - After 2 or 3 weeks of general focussing become more
specific. Notice
what people are wearing from day to day, notice their hairstyles, notice
their moods, notice the changes in the office. Also begin to notice
your thoughts at any given moment, how are you feeling? Don’t question
it, just notice it. Pretty soon you will start to see patterns in your
thinking. You are happier around particular people, you are happier
at a particular time of day. - After another 2-3 weeks focus on the job your are doing. If you are
a plumber, notice the tools you are using and how they are used, concentrate
of every turn of the wrench, listen to your breathing as you are working,
every time your thoughts drift internally pull them back to the moment. It
can help to say out loud or internally what you are doing: “ I am typing
on my keyboard”, “ I am driving to work, I can see a blue car
in front of me” etc - Over time you will become much more used to being mindful
and it will happen automatically. However do not get complacent,
every now and again remind yourself to be in the moment.
- By being more aware and concentrating more in uptime
you will automatically become more relaxed in downtime. Ultimate downtime is sleeping and
you will find your sleep is deeper therefore you are more relaxed
and refreshed in the morning. - Also practicing simple meditation will greatly enhance
your downtime and life in general. 15 minutes per day in downtime
meditation will greatly enhance your concentration, focus, visualisation,
law of attraction and your life in general. - I listen to guided meditations for my downtime meditation and use it in
the morning and afternoon. - Take downtime breaks at work. As I am out in the car visiting clients
a lot of the time I take a few 10 minute breaks on a hill overlooking countryside
and it’s great just to sit there and look out. I find it refreshes
my mind and prepares me for the next few hours ahead.
your life if you practice focused mindful uptime and more relaxing downtime. Why
not try it or just let it go if it doesn’t work for
you.
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^ I think I just discovered why I have insomnia. I spend much uptime not truly in the moment, so when the day is over I feel like I haven't experienced much since I spent most of the day in-my-head. :O
Thank you for this. I must try...
Thank you for this. I must try...
Same insomnia here. I guess I need the night to study/research/explore the world through my laptop.
I think you are right about the insomnia. Spending more time in uptime will leave you mentally exhausted to begin with and will help you sleep. Plus the better you get at holding up uptime, the better you'll get at downtime and therefore the more relaxed you will be able to become
I would just like to point out a subtle misunderstanding you seem to have made though (see the bolded bit of your post). We flip back and forth between uptime and downtime all the time. Because you are at work or whatever doesn't mean you are in uptime. It's if you are focused on exterior stimuli that constitutes uptime. Focusing on internal stimuli is downtime. Uptime by definition means you are in the moment
There are various degrees to which you can achieve this too. It is very useful for reading body language when you get good at it. You can see colour changes in peoples face and neck and micro muscle movements that will blow you away. It's hard to fathom how we don't see these things all the time. They are so pronounced when true uptime is achieved.
I would like to add a stage 5 to the uptime exercise for you. Basically do all the other things it says but use your peripheral vision. Start by focusing on two different things, then three and so on. Name the colours and shapes you see and see them all at once in your peripheral vision. Get faster and faster with the naming of things, like he says to do in stage 3.
There will come a "ping" moment and your perception of reality will take a rather interesting turn. You'll know when it happens
Don't take my word for it. Try it
Well, now I am excited. I will try my best to do your method.....I have faith in it now that I understand the way it works. Downtime, my mind, the abstract inner-world. Uptime, my subjective POV on the concrete, sensory world.
I'll get started this week. Wish me luck bro!
I'll get started this week. Wish me luck bro!
Good luck and one more piece of advice for you. Allow yourself the luxury of being rubbish at it to begin with. Failure is a crucial step on the road to success
Edit: Oh, and the "don't question it, just notice it" part is important
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