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The INFP INFJ thing

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Altruistic Muse, Feb 11, 2010.

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  1. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I have recently split up with an INTP for a number of reasons, mainly relating to him being too cold and distant, and not appearing to see the beauty in the world. Having started a new job, with a few South Africans, I am absolutely loving these guys. Laid back intelligent fun thinkers. One of them (actually a Zimbabwean) is an INFP. I think he, and another South African I like, are the only INFPs I have ever met. And wow, I am mightily intrigued! The way they get so excited about tiny little things, their directness and love of fighting for a cause. They are both really intelligent also. The guy I work with likes literature, and technical things (we do surveying) also. He is very good at explaining things and making them seem easy. Also he is derisive of casual whinging, but if you actually have a problem he is the first person to give advice to you, or help in some simple way, to find a solution. I am starting to think that this type would be one of the few that could keep my attention long term, with my high expectations! Does anyone have any experience with this, and would it work?


     
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  2. Wyote

    Wyote (#/-\[]$ ([]`/[]'|'[-
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    Sounds like an ISFP. They're cool.
     
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  3. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    From my experience and observations, three things can happen with an INFJ/INFP pair. The first, and rarest actually, is the relationship is extremely deep, devoted, and long lasting. The second is there is no interest what so ever, the third is an extreme dislike for each other forming very quickly. There is very little grey area.
     
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    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    Oh no, I'm pretty sure INFP, because I know ISFP, they're much closer to the ground. these guys are almost ethereal!
     
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    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I feel no dislike towards either of them! I think it'd be somewhere between the former two. Because it is almost fascination rather than attraction? Strange! But I think with the right one, it could be a great relationship!
     
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  6. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    I think I'm in the grey area about the INFPs I know XD They're good friends though.
    To me, INFPs seem to be good for deep conversations and general discussion, but aren't light talkers - which is mostly a good thing, unless you're really tired. The two I know also don't do much about arguing their point, and if they do they easily get talked over. I think it's really important to listen to them, or you'll miss something important ^^"
     
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    #6 laurie, Feb 11, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  7. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    Agreed here.

    Keep in mind, that the third option often starts out like the first one. There is a lot of passion and chemistry between this pair, but also a lot of inability to synchronize that can either turn into mutual respect and fascination or a high degree of animosity, seldom ever a gray area.

    The intensity will also be greatly increased the more extroverted either of the parties are.
     
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  8. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    As is probably obvious, there is a lot of variation within a type. MBTI type is a broad categorization that encircles groups of people who differ greatly in their manifestation of other overlapping categories. I do not believe there is much that can be said definitively about how members of any two types will interact.

    That said, I have personally noted a few seemingly common types of interaction/relationship styles between INFJs and INFPs.

    1) A great deal of commonality at the outset, but then as the relationship is more deeply explored, assumptions of similarity are betrayed when core differences in thought process and engagement style are revealed.

    2) Almost instant and visceral dislike. I believe this likely stems from the same core differences in thought process and engagement style, but due to variable interaction dynamics, it is in a relationship where there is little incentive to work toward mutual understanding.

    3) That gray area. Here it seems there is an appreciation of the commonalities and any revealed differences are either not explored due to lack of motivation to engage more deeply, or alternatively are explored deeply with a motivation toward mutual understanding. (case A - mostly disinterest; case B - wonderful - but I'm prejudiced)

    I think the situation where an interested INFP and INFJ are motivated to explore the deeper differences in style with openness and receptivity can result in an incredibly satisfying relationship. I speak from positive experience.
     
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