The Feeling of not being able to appreciate things enough

xJ_Sky

xJ_Sky

One
MBTI
INFJ
i believe I'm an INFJ after taking tons of personality tests and reading about them. I was just wondering if any other of you INFJ or type 4 personality types have the feeling of not being able to appreciate things enough, especially nature.

for example, if i'm on the beach looking out into the ocean or in a beautiful park full of amazing trees, flowers, and wild life, the whole time I am there I will be asking myself if I am appreciating it enough. this is very hard to explain since it's the first time i've ever come out with it, but thought some may be able to relate.

it's a sense of being so overwhelmed by beauty that it's impossible to take in. it's sort of like not even being able to interpret, understand, appreciate something as immense and beautiful as nature. it's so overwhelming that it seems to be almost impossible to be appreciated by me, an INFJ/type 4.
 
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im am actulally really good at appriciating things
i do aot of reflecting.
don't however appriciate poatery all that much.
but im learning to appricitate antiques and the fields around my house, which used to bore me growing up
 
I think the mere fact that you are realizing that it is there is appreciation enough. You notice and except it which in it's own is appreciation.

I think I might know what you're saying about thinking you don't appreciate things enough, maybe something like you don't feel awed by the beauty or phased by the achievements of nature, but that doesn't mean you don't appreciate it. I don't feel those things either. I here people talking about being awed or getting chills or whatever when they view something beautiful but personally I never do. I've realized that this doesn't mean I don't appreciate it, I just don't feel it the same way as everyone else.

Maybe that's the problem? You just don't feel it the same way other people around you do (which isn't a problem at all, it just means you're unique and in a good way). Maybe this helps, it probably doesn't. Just know you aren't alone.
 
Don't try to force understanding or taking it all in at once. Sit quietly and take control of your breathing. Next, continue to relax and empty your mind (the hardest thing to do in my opinion; try to find somewhere quiet because it is a difficult thing you are trying to do).

Do not go with the expectation of anything, but simply wait for the moment to come.

I will be going to Ninpon in a few years and plan to do this under the cherry blossom trees. It has been one of my dreams for about half of my life, and it will make everything else worth it to live in that moment.
 
I understand the feeling. I get that too. There are times I feel I've not truly appreciated something beautiful or absurd unless I've written a poem about it. To capture it and say to myself: "See! Now you've trapped it and stamped yourself all over those northern lights. Hah!"
(Maybe that's a pretty egotistical thing.. Meh.)
 
I think you actually do appreciate it, or else you wouldn't care if you did or not. I think as INFJs (generally-speaking) we care so much about whether or not we're appreciating something, that we wind up thinking we aren't. Kinda' like how we mostly tend to want to be good people, and ARE, but we don't feel that we are as good as we should be. Does that make sense?
 
WickedPod said:
I think you actually do appreciate it, or else you wouldn't care if you did or not. I think as INFJs (generally-speaking) we care so much about whether or not we're appreciating something, that we wind up thinking we aren't. Kinda' like how we mostly tend to want to be good people, and ARE, but we don't feel that we are as good as we should be. Does that make sense?
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What is it about the INFJ that makes them worry about whether or not they are appreciating things as they 'should be'? And that they worry whether or not they are good enough people?
 
i tend to feel displaced, as if i appreciate too much and that it is looked upon by others as a fault rather than a good thing. i see beauty in extremely mundane items and even objects that are in decay (e.g. a dying flower) and constantly question myself whether or not it is normal to place a high value on them. when i'm alone, i have no problem with this, however when i'm around others who are likely to neglect this kind of perception, i find it somewhat unsettling.
 
alt ctrl del said:
What is it about the INFJ that makes them worry about whether or not they are appreciating things as they 'should be'? And that they worry whether or not they are good enough people?
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I think most of us tend to hold ourselves to impossible standards. I know that I do. I'm far more forgiving of others than I am of myself. I have no idea why we're (generally) like that. But I also know I don't speak for ALL of us.
 
I have had that same feeling about not appreciating nature enough, especially because I am colorblind, but you don't sound so bad. I think you are not appreciating nature when you are unaware of the beauty of nature. If you are outside and you see that things are beautiful, that is all you need to appreciate it. You can't appreciate it more than recognize that it is beautiful. Know that by realizing it is beautiful, you are appreciating it.
 
One question: do you appreciate not being able to appreciate things enough?
 
Yes I do get that way now and again. It is interesting though, if I tell myself "I need to appreciate and relish this [insert thing here] more so I don't forget it, I am not apreachating it enough" then I end up feeling worse. For example, if I go on a vacation, if I tell myself to "take it all in" on a conscience level, then I will be miserable for those days. I am finding for alot of things with me, if I try to force stuff like that, it never works out. I have to let it flow. This is no exception. I think for INFJ's we just have to understand that we DO apreciate things more (mabye more then others actually), and we don't need to be aware of it durring the moment. Realise it later, and take it in in memory.
 
See, as an INFP, I don't have this problem. My problem is that I often cannot kick-start my thought process to make it go anywhere above this appreciating. I wallow in my appreciation, forgetting all else.

Silly Fi.

Then again, I cannot do Se-esque appreciation at all, so if that's what you're talking about... ah well. I can only enjoy beauty in a very peripheral way; like a part of a daydream. I just know from past experience (Si?) that after being around beautiful things for a while, I start feeling better.
 
My ex often complained that I don't get "into things" enough. She thought it was a problem. I did not. If something moves me, it moves me. It just so happens that very few things really seem to strike a chord with me, but what's the point of thinking about it?

Considering how indiscriminately appreciative people seem to be about stuff I'm actually rather glad that I'm a little more picky. That means the few things that really enthrall me or spark fannishness in me are that much more special.

EDIT: On nature specifically I can say a pretty view does almost nothing for me beyond glancing at it and going "oh yeah that's pretty" and then moving on to something far more interesting.
 
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There really is no way to measure one person's appreciation to another's, so I can't really say if you are appreciating things enough or not. However, what I can say is that if you are happy and you enjoy being apart of life, then its probably enough.
 
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