The experience of having a rare personality type

[sanremi52890]

I think a lot of things that we experience being INFJ are in fact simply caused by the fact that INFJ's are rare. Any N personality is rare. I've noticed a lot of discussions on this forum come back to that fact, so I decided to make a thread about it. This was specifically inspired by the 'do you ever feel dumb?' thread.... But I thought this concept could merit its own thread.

What experiences have you had that were caused by having a rare personality type?

-when a teacher in a class asks a 'fill in the blank' question... i.e. "And the main reason why this happened was..... can anyone tell me?" I hate these kinds of questions because it's essentially saying "tell me what I'm thinking right now." Since I think about things in a much different way than most people, I almost always fail at answering these questions. Usually it happens during class discussions when a teacher is looking for a specific answer. I usually never get that specific answer. But I have 1,000 other possible answers in mind!

-since we're on the topic of school...... that rare situation when you get an NT or NF teacher. And suddenly, the tables turn, and you almost *always* know "what they're thinking" while nobody else does. And that teacher starts thinking that you're really special and intelligent. I had that experience recently, I went to my 5-year high school reunion, and I met my 8th grade social studies teacher there, someone I'd been really close to. She hugged me and was like "so glad to see you" etc and she turned to my friend I was with and was like "This one's special!" (meaning me). I was really flattered of course but I was also confused... why was I special? what did I ever do that was special? Then I realized: she's most likely an NF. I was probably one of the few students she had that year who actually understood the way she thought.

one thing.... I know NF's are not quite as rare as I've been making them out to seem. They are, what, 10 - 15 %? that's not SO rare. BUT, the rare-ness is exacerbated by the fact that many NF's lack confidence (probably because of being rare) and many NF's may also learn to talk like an SJ or SP, just to be understood, and fail to fully appreciate their own way of talking. So the whole 'NF-perspective' becomes more rare than actual NF people. It's that process of conforming to the majority, "winner take all" situation that makes minorities seem much more rare than they actually are.

 

[just me]

My second grade teacher asked me in front of the class to pick up a piece of chalk. Taking everyone back a moment, I used to make my sevens with a little drop down from the top. It went right, down at an angle, but I then added a small line where I started from pointing down. Going back to the front of the room, my teacher asked this little boy to show the class how to properly draw the number seven. Naturally, I left off the hanger. She then asked me to show the class, with her teeth closed, how NOT to draw a seven. I then showed my drop down seven. She asked me to sit down. I wasn't about to let her make a fool out of me.......................Sometimes we just know something is amiss..................................Took a test one time asking which way was the proper way to cross a fence with a loaded gun. It was multiple choice. The correct answer was not there. I figured it to be a trick question, as law was involved. Failed the test because of the questions, not the answers' being wrong.

 

[JGirl]

i just don't think infj is as rare as we are reputed to be. it may be that there a fewer of us, but i think 'rare' is a stretch

 

[somethingpancake]

In my environment, I think I would consider it a rare personality since most people I know seem to think of me as odd or strangely reclusive, although I can't say I know a lot of people. Rare is perhaps a stretch. Maybe "less common" is more appropriate? Personally, being an INFj has allowed me to think differently than most, not better, just differently. This can be a great thing most of the time, but I have also found it to be somewhat of a "not so great" thing depending on the situation. Being so introverted, and this might be only me, I find it difficult to properly translate my thoughts into spoken word. It somehow gets all mumbled and mixed up on the way out, which is why I much prefer writing a zillion times better to verbal communication!

 

[JGirl]

i agree we are misunderstood by most other personality types. i spent most of my life trying to not be who i am as a result of that lol

 

[Shaqie]

Every single professor thinks that I am f'''ing special!
Tired of that ...

 

[Tin Man]

Well. I'm only the second rarest MBTI type according to super serious science research. Still, I feel like a fragile butterfly caught in the grubby hands of the *shudder* commoners. No matter how many times I explain my specialness they just don't get it.

I'm so misunderstood. *sob*

 

[muir]

Bitter sweet

 

[sanremi52890]

Well. I'm only the second rarest MBTI type according to super serious science research. Still, I feel like a fragile butterfly caught in the grubby hands of the *shudder* commoners. No matter how many times I explain my specialness they just don't get it.

I'm so misunderstood. *sob*

Okay thank you for the sarcasm It was just an observation. Sometimes being different works for you, sometimes it works against you. It's nice to appreciate when it works for you because times when it works against you are so annoying.

 

[Sriracha]

i just don't think infj is as rare as we are reputed to be. it may be that there a fewer of us, but i think 'rare' is a stretch

Definitely not the rarest type online!!!

I think actually the rarest type (IRL) is the female INTJ.

 

[Oil]

I do believe INFJs are rare in that they show up least in the population, especially among males.

But, I wonder sometimes if we don't use this as a disguise for the problems in our lives. It's especially easy to explain away our difficulties with other people because we would rather not look at ourselves in the mirror. If we are special shouldn't it be our responsibility to make others lives better because we existed? I believe becoming of use to others is the most important conclusion we will all arrive at. There the neurosis of being special drifts away and we try to connect more deeply with the people around us. In that we only begin to see ourselves and how truly special we are - all of us.

 

[#@&5&49]

This is what the experience of INFJ feels like for me - I march to my own drum.
Is this positive - sometimes.
Is it negative - a lot of times.
Is it a balancing act - all of the time.

 

[Petra87]

I don't feel 'rare' because science shows so, but because I don't come around 'my' kind of people often. It is literally just very rare. And that to me sometimes feels kinda lonely, do I know I'm sort of unique.

Besides that I've never heard someone else say so really, except for some odd persons who were maybe kinda right. But in the end it doesn't really matter, you are who you are.

 

[ThomasJ79]

I'm going to tell my boss that I'm rare and hopefully he'll just give me a raise

 

[Gerty]

Rare, eh?
Thank God. I thought I was the only one with this kind of crazy!
I knew I was "different" since I can remember. Always uncomfortable around strangers, always feeling like I missed some important lesson on how to interact with other people easily and naturally. Majored in Physics and Chemistry, and did very well. Imagine my astonishment when, at the age of 41, I found out that I could write, that I almost HAD to write, and that the stuff I wrote was chock-full of that emotion stuff I tried so hard to squelch! And when I realized that my "hunches" about people were almost never wrong, midlife confusion reached a near fever-pitch.

Maybe we aren't as rare as we think. Maybe there are lots of us still freaked out that we can do math and also read people. Either way, my new favorite thing is reading about people who could've written chapters of my autobiography word-for-word

 

[Barnabas]

I'm going to throw this out there. I don't think we as INFJs are as particularly different as we tend to see our selves. whether it about feeling different and special or just lonely, we just tend to have common trait of introversion which causes us to draw away from people. Making it even more unlikely for us to find the groups of people who share our particular set of peculiarities. We long and strive for mostly the same goals and drives the motivate everyone else and our differentiating factors in context are quite small.

 

[KuroShiro]

I am quite sure that we are very rare. I have only met one person similar to me in my entire 18 years of life. As for Experiences with school, my AP biology teacher said "you have a Demi-God like personality", and my AP english teacher with a PhD in philosophy said that i had amazing insight and was always enthralled by my essays.

 

[Solongo]

I think a lot of things that we experience being INFJ are in fact simply caused by the fact that INFJ's are rare. Any N personality is rare. I've noticed a lot of discussions on this forum come back to that fact, so I decided to make a thread about it. This was specifically inspired by the 'do you ever feel dumb?' thread.... But I thought this concept could merit its own thread.

What experiences have you had that were caused by having a rare personality type?

-when a teacher in a class asks a 'fill in the blank' question... i.e. "And the main reason why this happened was..... can anyone tell me?" I hate these kinds of questions because it's essentially saying "tell me what I'm thinking right now." Since I think about things in a much different way than most people, I almost always fail at answering these questions. Usually it happens during class discussions when a teacher is looking for a specific answer. I usually never get that specific answer. But I have 1,000 other possible answers in mind!

-since we're on the topic of school...... that rare situation when you get an NT or NF teacher. And suddenly, the tables turn, and you almost *always* know "what they're thinking" while nobody else does. And that teacher starts thinking that you're really special and intelligent. I had that experience recently, I went to my 5-year high school reunion, and I met my 8th grade social studies teacher there, someone I'd been really close to. She hugged me and was like "so glad to see you" etc and she turned to my friend I was with and was like "This one's special!" (meaning me). I was really flattered of course but I was also confused... why was I special? what did I ever do that was special? Then I realized: she's most likely an NF. I was probably one of the few students she had that year who actually understood the way she thought.

one thing.... I know NF's are not quite as rare as I've been making them out to seem. They are, what, 10 - 15 %? that's not SO rare. BUT, the rare-ness is exacerbated by the fact that many NF's lack confidence (probably because of being rare) and many NF's may also learn to talk like an SJ or SP, just to be understood, and fail to fully appreciate their own way of talking. So the whole 'NF-perspective' becomes more rare than actual NF people. It's that process of conforming to the majority, "winner take all" situation that makes minorities seem much more rare than they actually are.

I agree with the notion that many NFs lack confidence in their personality type and use the rarity as an excuse to not develop weaker functions that helps the individual become more wholesome. The rarity should not be seen as special; instead it should signal to the NF community that in order to create better support for younger generations of NFs to come; the elder generations should learn to mentor and set a positive reinforcement to improve the lack of confidence NFs exude in the world. Without such effort from the community; the rarity will turn into an endangered type beyond saving.

 

[faridsimpson]

In high school, I really know what the teacher or professor expects the students to do in projects or exams because I listen to them very intently. 100% concentration. But what pisses me off:

1. Most don't focus that much. Or if they really focus, the input of teachers are just being sifted by their feeling of ego and self importance.
2. These people find my focus disturbing. They start talking to me. I hate it. Just wanna say "SHUT UP AND LISTEN!". But until now, i never mustered the courage to do that. I end up losing my focus.
3. But during discussions, everyone goes to me for academic advice. Until I tire myself answering their dumb questions. Questions that turn up because they didn't listen at the first place.

The gift of being able to focus your heart and soul into anything is a wonderful gift. So use it wisely. The gift of language together with super intuition are one of millions of reason why INFJs are special.

Love yourself.

 

[slant]

I'm really glad that you asked this question...I often feel that I have a different personality from most and it has caused some great challenges in my life that I have managed to overcome with incredible ambition.I have always been more highly intelligent than others and as a result of this I see through many of the fabrics of society, such as money, which I believe gives people the delusion of power when really it is slavery. In the past I have played social experiments on people...everyone is like a rat, you can manipulate them to do what you want if you just give them the incentive. I don't even take anything seriously anymore, to me, it's all a joke because I see who people really are and how things really work. All the world cares about is money and I believe we deserve better than this...it's not about the money to me, it never has been, if I had a massive amount of money I would pile it up in a room and burn it. I was in a relationship once with someone who told me that I worried too much, who told me I should smile more often. This person gambled and was always in debt and one day mutilated her. She didn't have money for reconstructive surgery and she couldn't take it. I wanted to see her smile again, and let her know I didn't care about how she looked. I took a razor to my mouth and made myself match. Funny she couldn't stand the sight of me even though I accepted her when she looked like that, so she left. Now I'm always smiling.