Te Delegating

[VH]

Are any of you ever annoyed by the insistence of Te users to delegate others? I've found this to be my biggest source of frustration with Te users - the insistant delegating. This phenomenon is most 'painful' for me when the Te user is my 'boss', but is pretty bad when it is a loved one, because in both cases I'm predisposed to feel like I 'should' accommodate them. It took me a long time to figure out why, but I think I have.

I don't have a problem with asking people to do what they 'should' do (obviously, as an Fe user). I don't have a problem with people in positions of authority asking people to do things (as that is what they should do).

My problem with Te delegating comes from two directions insistence on delegating, then ignoring important details when it delegates.

First of all, I place a very high value on harmony. When Fe delegates, it is highly conscious of the feelings of the person it is asking, and is concerned with maintaining harmony, proven by the fact that Fe requests rather than demands. Fe may become resentful of those who will not do what they should, but it must be pushed very far to demand that someone do something they should. Fe is also very open to the convenience of the person it is asking, as well as the inconvenience the request may be causing. Fe is very open to others doing what is asked of them however is best for them to do and at the best time for them to do it. Again, harmony is of utmost importance, followed by the 'shoulds'.

In contrast, Te is compelled to delegate, and it demands when it delegates. Even when it 'asks politely' there is a clear insistence, and the politeness is just for show. It's not a request. It is a demand. If the person is also an Si user, when Te asks someone to do something, they also wants it done exactly when they want it done and exactly how they want it done. If these demands are not followed explicitly, there will be trouble. To make matters worse, Te often neglects to consider the details when it delegates. An example would be insisting that someone clean something, then standing in front of the sink preventing them from cleaning it. Another example would be demanding that someone repair something, but failing to provide proper parts or tools, yet refusing to allow someone to obtain them.

However, I do have to admit that the more time I spend with my INTJ friends, the less averse I have become to Te. Interesting how our preferences develop with exposure.

Anyone else have clashes with Te in this manner?

 

[Ria]

I have noticed that INTJ's will have that "Taking care of business" aura about them when they conduct themselves in their lives. They don't even realize it or mean to, and usually there is no cold intent.

To other more sensitive types, it can come across as "huh"? lol Hope that makes sense

And yea, I know what you're saying.

 

[Gaze]

Managers, supervisors, team leaders, etc. are classic Te-valuing responsibilities. But Fe is ineffective on it's own. I've been both Fe based and Te-based at work. And individually, they are not as effective as a good balance between the two. Dominant Fe based approaches in teaching are often ineffective with learners who are not self directed or self motivated, since the focus can become too much about people, feelings, etc. without enough emphasis placed on finding out what needs to be done to complete the task.

Te-based, "here is the task, and just get the job done" is not effective on it's own either, if, as you already stated, the person assigning the tasks or responsibilities doesn't work with the delegates to guide them and provide the resources they need to complete the task. It can lead to low productivity by being too task oriented and not being sufficiently people oriented.

 

[NeverAmI]

MF, can you handle this one for me?

 

[Peppermint]

In contrast, Te is compelled to delegate, and it demands when it delegates. Even when it 'asks politely' there is a clear insistence, and the politeness is just for show. It's not a request. It is a demand. If the person is also an Si user, when Te asks someone to do something, they also wants it done exactly when they want it done and exactly how they want it done. If these demands are not followed explicitly, there will be trouble.

ESTJs... *shudder* It's even worse when they think they are in a "rightful" position of authority over you. I don't clash much with secondary Te users, they can be reasoned with usually, but me an a dom Te in the same room...and there will be blood. It comes in handy being stubborn, heh, especially when you get to see them fume in frustration over a person that won't budge.

 

[NeverAmI]

My old roommate (I am guessing ESTJ) was a master at getting everyone to do everything for him. He was also one of the most self-absorbed people I ever met. Not making a stereotype here, just giving more of his character to draw upon.

He had a knack for performing the same idiotic mistakes over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Then again, he was a meth burnout.

 

[Blind Bandit]

Are any of you ever annoyed by the insistence of Te users to delegate others? I've found this to be my biggest source of frustration with Te users - the insistant delegating. This phenomenon is most 'painful' for me when the Te user is my 'boss', but is pretty bad when it is a loved one, because in both cases I'm predisposed to feel like I 'should' accommodate them. It took me a long time to figure out why, but I think I have.

I don't have a problem with asking people to do what they 'should' do (obviously, as an Fe user). I don't have a problem with people in positions of authority asking people to do things (as that is what they should do).

My problem with Te delegating comes from two directions insistence on delegating, then ignoring important details when it delegates.

First of all, I place a very high value on harmony. When Fe delegates, it is highly conscious of the feelings of the person it is asking, and is concerned with maintaining harmony, proven by the fact that Fe requests rather than demands. Fe may become resentful of those who will not do what they should, but it must be pushed very far to demand that someone do something they should. Fe is also very open to the convenience of the person it is asking, as well as the inconvenience the request may be causing. Fe is very open to others doing what is asked of them however is best for them to do and at the best time for them to do it. Again, harmony is of utmost importance, followed by the 'shoulds'.

In contrast, Te is compelled to delegate, and it demands when it delegates. Even when it 'asks politely' there is a clear insistence, and the politeness is just for show. It's not a request. It is a demand. If the person is also an Si user, when Te asks someone to do something, they also wants it done exactly when they want it done and exactly how they want it done. If these demands are not followed explicitly, there will be trouble. To make matters worse, Te often neglects to consider the details when it delegates. An example would be insisting that someone clean something, then standing in front of the sink preventing them from cleaning it. Another example would be demanding that someone repair something, but failing to provide proper parts or tools, yet refusing to allow someone to obtain them.

However, I do have to admit that the more time I spend with my INTJ friends, the less averse I have become to Te. Interesting how our preferences develop with exposure.

Anyone else have clashes with Te in this manner?

Yes I most certainly do. Te can often feel like a parental function when pushed on others. And honestly when you mix it with Si it becomes this unpleasant anomaly that wants to make people do things. But can't accept that they aren't going to do it how the user of Te and Si wants.

 

[Ecton]

I think the key here is trust.

When delegates and delegators are mistrustful of one another, the entire experience in Te can be horrible. We can use external feeling to help smooth things over.

But on a well worn team with good dynamics, you can delegate through Te all day and it actually ADDS to the sense of positive Fe in the group.

 

[IndigoSensor]

I think the key here is trust.

When delegates and delegators are mistrustful of one another, the entire experience in Te can be horrible. We can use external feeling to help smooth things over.

But on a well worn team with good dynamics, you can delegate through Te all day and it actually ADDS to the sense of positive Fe in the group.

This. I don't mind being delegated to as long as it makes sense, and I am explained to why I am being delegated this. I have to be able to reason with it. If not I will dig my heels in and I will not move an inch. I often do ok with Te, and I can reason with it when I don't agree with it either.

I think the key for it is getting Te to respect you. My ESTJ father never respected me for years, and wouldn't give me the time of day. I have over time won his respect now though, and will listen to a certain degree. Another factor is that he has started working on his Fi over the past few years.