Hello well my test shows INFJ dominant with me also near INFP range, and I am indeed heterosexual and rather mascline in appearance as I have been a Biker for 25 years, although I am also a Poet and Artist in my own time and space, which reflects the other side of my Yin and Yang nature. I have lived with my partner for 21 years even though we aren't married nor had any children. My partner is an ESFP, and I feel that she is my soul mate.
When younger I was a very shy individual, although I would hide this trait by way of my male bravado. I feared rejection from women, although due to living a alternative way of life (If you like) I would put it down to my choice of life style which I wasn't prepared to compromise upon (Motorcycles not cars). I did however have a couple of female friends, who I valued as close friends, however due to my open friendly demeanour (I don't mean to sound ignorant or egotistical here), they would start to grow emotional attachments then develop a physical attraction to me, which although flattering to some, usually resulted in destroying our friendship, as they would suffer rejection and hurt when I gently turned down their offers of love. This would then make me feel like a cold lofty guy which would then lead me to become rather more reclusive and nervous around women. Although I would still defend my actions as being real and authentic, as I would never use another human being for sexual gratification, as I believed and still believe that one should have geniune feelings for a person if your going to make love to them, as this is the most intimate act you can have with another person physically.
I would then refrain from the emotional baggage of what one night stands seem to create, which left some people questioning my sexuality. Even my parents asked if I was Gay, which really upset and deeply offended me (Nothing wrong with being Gay, if you actually are Gay, but not so cool if you aren't) as this was another example of how people were not truly understanding or accepting of me. It was more to do with the romantic notions I had, floating around my brain, which I picked up from popular culture, literature , and aspects of society itself. As I have a deep physical attraction, respect, and also dare I say I kind of fear of letting a woman down, so I take all my dealings with them seriously and responsibly, as I don't want to hurt a woman emotionally and be classed like all those horrible "MEN!" in the world that you here so many women complain about these days.
What has helped me through the years is the fact of meeting my partner who is my Lover, confident and friend, also my sense of spirituality as a self confessed Western Tao Buddhist. I have found an authentic expression for my Protector qualities, and a medium to practise without suspicion my inner compassionate values.
Today no one questions my sexuality much , when they know I am a Buddhist, they may question and bully poor modern secular type guys who are intune with others peoples minds and emotions (INFJ,INFP's), as being not manly or masculine enough,(Which is erroneous, ignorant thinking on their part) but they can't throw that accusation at the symbol of manhood Buddha represents. So I embrace my Yin and Yang qualities, which I acknowledge as simply two sides of the same coin, and that coin is me. I have a very male protective side, a side that is very practical (Can fix engines) with a more dare I say Nurturing side that's Artistic, intuitive, with a depth of compassion. Its interesting to note that when you see the statue of any Eastern Buddha, they are usually depicted as a-sexual or neutrally gendered, so the Buddha doesn't look male nor female but a balance between the two polarities, as in Buddhism our true identity is our awareness "Mind Essence" and this is neutral, and has no sexuality, gender or form. I myself like this idea of thought, it for me at least helps me understand my own inner balance. I wonder if anyone else has a similar approach concerning their spiritual or philosophical beliefs?
