Spiritual Bypassing

Wildfire

Wildfire

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
I don't want to limit responses in any way. I just want to acknowledge that type descriptions generally describe INFJs as drawn to and adept at both the psychological and the spiritual, and I'm curious about the balance people strike between the two. How would you describe the psychological usefulness of spiritual beliefs and practices? To what extent do they blend well and compliment each other? When do they conflict? Have you been a witness to spiritual bypassing either in yourself or others? If so, and if you feel comfortable sharing, how was that resolved?
 
I think anyone pursuing some avenue of spirituality is going to experience spiritual bypassing within themselves at times.
I feel like the term itself is sort of a way of blaming people for their ignorance, which I kind of find detestable.
But also, it's important to move past those hurdles in order to continue to better yourself, so we kind of need the term.
 
Wyote said:
I think anyone pursuing some avenue of spirituality is going to experience spiritual bypassing within themselves at times.
I feel like the term itself is sort of a way of blaming people for their ignorance, which I kind of find detestable.
But also, it's important to move past those hurdles in order to continue to better yourself, so we kind of need the term.
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I agree, and I think it's something we all do in one form or another.

I'm not quite sure I follow you on the blaming people part, but I can't deny that, like any other concept, it could be used as a weapon or to demean, and I have no doubt that it has been used that way out there somewhere.
 
See it practically everywhere when people are unable to handle difficult emotions while avoiding shadow aspects of themselves and the reality around them all the while subscribing to toxic positivity be it with in themselves but more so with others. They way I see toxic positivity as a tool of social control and invalidation as often the case these days even to the point where things get astroturfed as many have experienced in the new age for example where only positive vibes are allowed ect. Those who bypass often only project an image of positivity and progress while ignoring the obvious with in their own lives and God forbid anyone show any sadness or complain about legitimate issues. Those who are unwilling to look into the shadows within themselves are often doomed to experience whatever they've repressed within. In short spiritual bypassing is really the avoidance of introspection and shadow work.
 
Wildfire said:
I don't want to limit responses in any way. I just want to acknowledge that type descriptions generally describe INFJs as drawn to and adept at both the psychological and the spiritual, and I'm curious about the balance people strike between the two. How would you describe the psychological usefulness of spiritual beliefs and practices? To what extent do they blend well and compliment each other? When do they conflict? Have you been a witness to spiritual bypassing either in yourself or others? If so, and if you feel comfortable sharing, how was that resolved?
Click to expand...
I very much like Jung’s position on this sort of issue. He is clearly of the view that to be healthy psychologically it’s essential to accept and feed our spirituality. He sees it as something fundamental to humanity. But like anything else in our inner lives, it can get screwed up and then unbalance us.

I don’t think spiritual bypassing is any different in principle from any other sort of compensation for, or avoidance of issues. It’s something that people do when their life is too hard and complicated to deal with directly; or when they over simplify things and seek to project their problems onto a rescuer rather than going for a fundamental solution.

It’s not one sided though and I think many folks’ spiritual disturbances are actually rooted in psychological causes. There’s because there’s another sort of bypassing, and that’s when folks try and resolve a spiritual issue by non spiritual means. They are like someone trying to drive a car but refusing to accept it needs fuel.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
See it practically everywhere when people are unable to handle difficult emotions while avoiding shadow aspects of themselves and the reality around them all the while subscribing to toxic positivity be it with in themselves but more so with others. They way I see toxic positivity as a tool of social control and invalidation as often the case these days even to the point where things get astroturfed as many have experienced in the new age for example where only positive vibes are allowed ect. Those who bypass often only project an image of positivity and progress while ignoring the obvious with in their own lives and God forbid anyone show any sadness or complain about legitimate issues. Those who are unwilling to look into the shadows within themselves are often doomed to experience whatever they've repressed within. In short spiritual bypassing is really the avoidance of introspection and shadow work.
Click to expand...
I see the same thing and I don't have words for my level of frustration with this.

John K said:
I very much like Jung’s position on this sort of issue. He is clearly of the view that to be healthy psychologically it’s essential to accept and feed our spirituality. He sees it as something fundamental to humanity. But like anything else in our inner lives, it can get screwed up and then unbalance us.

I don’t think spiritual bypassing is any different in principle from any other sort of compensation for, or avoidance of issues. It’s something that people do when their life is too hard and complicated to deal with directly; or when they over simplify things and seek to project their problems onto a rescuer rather than going for a fundamental solution.

It’s not one sided though and I think many folks’ spiritual disturbances are actually rooted in psychological causes. There’s because there’s another sort of bypassing, and that’s when folks try and resolve a spiritual issue by non spiritual means. They are like someone trying to drive a car but refusing to accept it needs fuel.
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Thank you for this John. I wish I could like this post more than once.
 
By necessity this is oversimplified, but I’m going to use it as an example so that I can frame up the question...

A friend and I were both raised inside and left behind very toxic types of religion, but we’ve both continued to be drawn to the spiritual. We met when we found ourselves exploring the same types of spiritual ideas and practices, but she was drawn much further down a path that ended with new psychological and emotional wounds and her disillusionment. She talks now about how foolish she feels having bought into some of the ideas, and I’m wondering about my own drive to incorporate some ideas while distancing from others. She readily labels her experience as spiritual bypassing and is glad she has a term for it. And I’m here pondering the safest way to play around in the spiritual waters.

So I’m wondering if you guys have your own guiding principles for navigating the spiritual?
 
Wildfire said:
By necessity this is oversimplified, but I’m going to use it as an example so that I can frame up the question...

A friend and I were both raised inside and left behind very toxic types of religion, but we’ve both continued to be drawn to the spiritual. We met when we found ourselves exploring the same types of spiritual ideas and practices, but she was drawn much further down a path that ended with new psychological and emotional wounds and her disillusionment. She talks now about how foolish she feels having bought into some of the ideas, and I’m wondering about my own drive to incorporate some ideas while distancing from others. She readily labels her experience as spiritual bypassing and is glad she has a term for it. And I’m here pondering the safest way to play around in the spiritual waters.

So I’m wondering if you guys have your own guiding principles for navigating the spiritual?
Click to expand...

I am going to assume that she fallowed some gurus or grifters online and eventually gotten to where she is now as that is a fairly common experience these days as all they sell is what I like to call "cotton candy spirituality" where all the preach love and light without anything to actually back it up. Some of what they teach is true in principle however such truth more often than not is distorted or incomplete to sound nice and easy for quick views, quick bucks, and for building a subscriber base on the quick however it rarely lasts beyond several years until people start getting fed up. The worst of the lot often do MLM scams to bait people into going to resorts for classes ect while most just have people paying hundreds for services that really don't do anything at all. All in all with the grifters I do say frauds of a feather do so together as they all use the same tricks.

A lot of this could have been avoided had there been good guidance but sadly is so very rare and myself could have avoided a lot had there been good help so for here there is hope.
 
Wildfire said:
So I’m wondering if you guys have your own guiding principles for navigating the spiritual?
Click to expand...
The trouble is that the short answers sound full of cliches:
Work out your own salvation with diligence (Buddha)

The Kingdom of God is within you (Christ)​

Religions and other spiritual paths when they are presented correctly are no more than signposts pointing each of us to a road we must travel alone within us. The expression of the journey can and should involve other people of course - the best of religious paths emphasise love at their very core. But in the end, spiritual longing leads to a very personal and individual meeting with the divine inside you. Different people experience it in different ways and express it to others in different ways- often in the language of their religion’s framework: Buddhism very differently to Christianity or Wicca for example.

When you filter out the inter-religious differences though they seem to be converging on the same inner experiences. It’s that convergence that helps me to feel I’m facing the right direction.
 
Wildfire said:
How would you describe the psychological usefulness of spiritual beliefs and practices?
Click to expand...

Philippians 4:6-8
6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And thepeace of God, which surpasses allunderstanding, will guard your hearts andyour minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.…
 
Wildfire said:
So I’m wondering if you guys have your own guiding principles for navigating the spiritual?
Click to expand...
9 years ago I made the decision to expand my awareness of the connection between me and my higher frequency self. Then I allowed myself to have the experiences to accomplish this way of Being.

Trust. Trust your self to bring what you need for your own further evolution in your own consciousness. You may run across many many different tools, methods, processes, ceremonies, etc. etc as you walk the path. Just try the ones that feel good to you. Don't be afraid to make it your own process. Use your own words, your own music, your own whatever. Then when it doesn't serve you anymore you'll set it aside and try out a new one.

Oh...and one more thing!!! I continuously asked the Universe for Clarity. I stepped away from anything Fear mongering....Fear laden....ideas based upon control.

In essence our spiritual journey is a Remembering of who we truly are.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
I am going to assume that she fallowed some gurus or grifters online and eventually gotten to where she is now as that is a fairly common experience these days as all they sell is what I like to call "cotton candy spirituality" where all the preach love and light without anything to actually back it up. Some of what they teach is true in principle however such truth more often than not is distorted or incomplete to sound nice and easy for quick views, quick bucks, and for building a subscriber base on the quick however it rarely lasts beyond several years until people start getting fed up. The worst of the lot often do MLM scams to bait people into going to resorts for classes ect while most just have people paying hundreds for services that really don't do anything at all. All in all with the grifters I do say frauds of a feather do so together as they all use the same tricks.

A lot of this could have been avoided had there been good guidance but sadly is so very rare and myself could have avoided a lot had there been good help so for here there is hope.
Click to expand...
No dispute that what you’ve described exists, but in her case it was much more subtle. There was nothing flashy or trendy about it, and no financial investment. The emotional investment was very real though, as was the psychological harm. In that way it absolutely fits what you’ve described.

John K said:
The trouble is that the short answers sound full of cliches:
Work out your own salvation with diligence (Buddha)

The Kingdom of God is within you (Christ)​

Religions and other spiritual paths when they are presented correctly are no more than signposts pointing each of us to a road we must travel alone within us. The expression of the journey can and should involve other people of course - the best of religious paths emphasise love at their very core. But in the end, spiritual longing leads to a very personal and individual meeting with the divine inside you. Different people experience it in different ways and express it to others in different ways- often in the language of their religion’s framework: Buddhism very differently to Christianity or Wicca for example.

When you filter out the inter-religious differences though they seem to be converging on the same inner experiences. It’s that convergence that helps me to feel I’m facing the right direction.
Click to expand...
Thank you for this John. I think we view things in much the same way, especially in regard to what is universally true. My closeness to this individual has me thinking about the way I navigate things myself and I have a strong desire to put words to things in a way I haven’t before. It’s like capturing my unconscious process and holding it under a microscope.

Kgal said:
9 years ago I made the decision to expand my awareness of the connection between me and my higher frequency self. Then I allowed myself to have the experiences to accomplish this way of Being.

Trust. Trust your self to bring what you need for your own further evolution in your own consciousness. You may run across many many different tools, methods, processes, ceremonies, etc. etc as you walk the path. Just try the ones that feel good to you. Don't be afraid to make it your own process. Use your own words, your own music, your own whatever. Then when it doesn't serve you anymore you'll set it aside and try out a new one.

Oh...and one more thing!!! I continuously asked the Universe for Clarity. I stepped away from anything Fear mongering....Fear laden....ideas based upon control.

In essence our spiritual journey is a Remembering of who we truly are.
Click to expand...
And thank you for this Kgal. I love everything you said. And you’ve touched on something essential. It’s the trust piece. I know she feels a complete lack of trust in herself right now and I get that. I’ve been there too.
 
John K said:
.. to be healthy psychologically it’s essential to accept and feed our spirituality.
Click to expand...
We are spirits with souls in a body. All connected and each affects the other.

If we neglect our emotions and relational needs, we harm our spirit, then the soul (the essence of everything we are at any point in time), and also the body. Then illness occurs.

Every aliment stems from this. Sickness is a sign of things being neglected or not tended to correctly. I would go so far as to blame genetic flaws on the neglect from ancestors. Unresolved trauma, hurts, anger, etc.. And personal injury, from the wrong doer’s neglect their own needs. But I suppose there are true accidents.
 
MsLonelyHearts said:
We are spirits with souls in a body. All connected and each affects the other.

If we neglect our emotions and relational needs, we harm our spirit, then the soul (the essence of everything we are at any point in time), and also the body. Then illness occurs.

Every aliment stems from this. Sickness is a sign of things being neglected or not tended to correctly. I would go so far as to blame genetic flaws on the neglect from ancestors. Unresolved trauma, hurts, anger, etc.. And personal injury, from the wrong doer’s neglect their own needs. But I suppose there are true accidents.
Click to expand...

Society pretty much these days as all one needs is to just look around as there is so much suffering out in the world.
 
John K said:
They come from an account of the Buddha’s last spoken words. It’s pretty complicated working out what exactly these were though- this gives some idea of it
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/alcva.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/lord-buddhas-last-spoken-words/amp/
Click to expand...
Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvationwith fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
 
John K said:
They come from an account of the Buddha’s last spoken words. It’s pretty complicated working out what exactly these were though- this gives some idea of it
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/alcva.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/lord-buddhas-last-spoken-words/amp/
Click to expand...
Something’s suspicious about this. My belief is that it is something written later and intentionally, to mislead Christians into believing Jesus took his words from other religions, yet he himself claimed repeatedly that his words came directly from the Father in heaven.
Did the Buddha even teach anything in regards to salvation? What would salvation even be to a Buddhist? I thought the intention was to become nothing, yet one with everything. That doesn’t sound like salvation of any kind to me personally.
 
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