Speculative conspiracy theories

[ImaginaryBloke]

In this thread, first contradict the conspiracy theory written by somebody else in the previous post. Then write a conspiracy theory of your own making.

Eg:

1) "...

Chemtrails are caused by pilots who have superior flatulence abilities."

2) "Ridiculous! Their hinds must be of enormous size but nobody can eat that much.

The fly swat was developed on purpose to make people crueler and less empathetic."

Now, continue from 2).

 

[Stu]

The fly swat was developed on purpose to make people crueler and less empathetic.

This is a common misconception, the fly swat was actually given to humanity in the dark ages by space aliens that used them to shoo human children.


Donald Trump is the only man alive that the illuminati is afraid of because he is not a billionaire but a Cazillionaire who made his money the old fashioned way, by giving oral sex to billionaires.

 

[dang]

This is a common misconception, the fly swat was actually given to humanity in the dark ages by space aliens that used them to shoo human children.


Donald Trump is the only man alive that the illuminati is afraid of because he is not a billionaire but a Cazillionaire who made his money the old fashioned way, by giving oral sex to billionaires.

Debunk. Donald doesn't give blow jobs, he only receives them, preferably from Baltic models and Chris Christie.

True conspiracy theory. AIDS was created by a nerd in a laboratory as a means of cock blocking other dudes. Ingenious.

 

[Martinville]

I would be much more interested in conspiracy theory that is actually true.

 

[Stu]

Martinville is actually a bot programmed to make us all disbelieve in what we normally took for granted.

 

[VeraT7]

Martinville is actually a bot programmed to make us all disbelieve in what we normally took for granted.

No, Martinville is only a troll.

The real conspiracy is the alien plot to usher the Donald into the White House. Actually, this is a test that will decide our country's fate, and eventually, our species': if we fail, their military pods will crawl out of a cavity in his metal head the first time he's left alone in the Oval Office, and quickly infest the entire staff. Soon, reinforcements will be sent to possess the whole populace. (This will be accomplished through various fascistic measures ordered by the Donald pod.) In time, these puppets will go forth to subjugate the entire world to the Ngodo Queen and her oligarchy, who will glide majestically into power upon their arrival, unchallenged by a submissive world.

Interestingly, the piddling human riffraff who manage to evade possession and escape to remote lands the aliens deem unworthy of their attention, will one day blame it all on bigotry and say it was at least poetic justice that the Donaldic regime be overthrown by the biggest aliens of all, to be replaced, no less, with their matriarchal culture.