Smoking | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Smoking

I'm surprised at how many people on this forum smoke; I thought we smokers were an endangered species.

I started at 18, my senior year in high school and smoked only a few a day before school with a friend while we listened to Bob Dylan. Oh, we thought we were kewl! I continued in college, sharing a cigarette after sex with my first serious boyfriend. Then my bipolar disorder really kicked in and I became a regular smoker, probably as a form of self-medication.

I quit when I was trying to get pregnant with my first child at 35; it just seemed stupid to be taking fertility drugs and smoking. I stayed quit throughout the pregnancy and while I was breastfeeding. Since I got pregnant again two weeks after my first son weaned himself, I stayed quit about three years. Then during a period of stress after the birth of my second son--he was born with spinal birth defects and needed surgery just about the time my husband lost his job and health benefits--I took it up again.

I quit again a couple years ago, by which time I was up to three packs a day. I tried Chantrix as a quitting aide but got a drug reaction, so had to white-knuckle it, but I did it. By that time I was on large doses of Depakote to control the bipolar. Depakote has some nasty side effects: significant weight gain, hair loss, insomnia. I had none of them until I quit smoking and then they all kicked in with a vengeance. I gained 60 pounds in two months without an increase in appetite or change in eating habits, my hair started falling out, I had insomnia and some cognitive dulling. The extra weight affected my already precarious balance and after a bad fall transferring into bed one night when I was home alone, and spending 13 hours on a hardwood floor waiting for my home health aide to arrive and scrape my fanny off the floor, it was the last straw and I took up smoking again. The Depakote side effects settled down to a dull roar; I lost 35 pounds, my hair grew back, I could sleep, etc.

I want to quit again. The codger has COPD and I want to encourage him to quit. Then there's the matter of cost; a carton is going up by $7 here in April and it's getting beyond the range of our fixed income to continue smoking. But I'm still afraid of starting up the side effects of Depakote again. I wish there was another drug I could take to control the bipolar, but I have severe adverse drug reactions with everything but Depakote. I've tried managing the illness without medication and ended up in the hospital on the psych unit, so that's not an option. Maybe cutting down, something I did before quitting last time, would work. I think I have to find a balance: keeping enough nicotine in my system to ward off the Depakote side effects while not smoking as heavily as I do now (3 packs a day). Maybe nicotine patches would work. I used them during a week-long hospital stay in December after breaking my shoulder in another fall and didn't get a return of side effects. The patches are almost as expensive as cigs, but they'd be easier on my lungs.

As an aside, my son with schizophrenia smokes and has tried unsuccessfully to quit several times. Now this is a kid who has tremendous willpower and has never failed at something he set out to do, including going 5+ years without a relapse. Last night my roomie was at a board meeting of the clinic where he gets his care and there was an MD guest speaker who actually said people with schizophrenia need to smoke. About 90 % do and they have the lowest rate of lung cancer of any group in the country. They are, however, susceptible to all the other detrimental effects of smoking, like heart disease, etc.

Well, ask a simple question...
 
I dont smoke, but I do chew. I started just last year and I love it!
 
Chew is so gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember that time I tried it and almost threw up?! But then again, it does kinda taste like teriyaki beef jerky...
 
Oh poop you were right again merrytrees. In my defense if you do a search for 'merrytrees' and click the show posts button it will show a bunch of posts with your name in it. Unfortuanately if looked like it said you quit but it was someone else who quoted you and they were saying they quit. Well I am rambling as if I care what you think. Good day.
 
That could have been a private message you know.. You may offend the mods.
 
I smoke 2-3 packets every day ever since I was 18. But if I die when I'm 24, I'll still blame the system :p
 
I smoke occasionally, usually cloves. I like the taste of them. People should be able to smoke what they want it is their body after-all..
 
You have a point efromm.

But lets go a bit deeper into it (if you won't mind a bit of debate that is ;) )

My husband is a smoker. Aren't I being affected by the second hand when we are together, and whatever SH residue clings to him after he smokes (I don't allow smoking in the house).

What about the cost to the family? We only have one income, is it fair to the rest of us that he spends money on cigarettes that could be used for an extra cirrucular activity for the kids? Or could go back into the food budget?

What about the long term effects? I've had two grandfathers die from smoking related cancers. My grandmother who was a smoker for 90% of her life is currently in congestive heart failure and on oxygen for emphysmea (spelling?). Is it fair for his choices to potentially put me in a situation where I may have to watch my spouse die of the effects of his habit? Will it be fair for his choice to leave me with thousands in medical bills?

If the cost of smoking, financial physical and emotional, were to be paid solely by the smoker then I wouldn't have a debate leg to stand on. But I share the costs of his habit and his choice. Shouldn't I be granted a voice in this habit?
 
I don't smoke, and I don't want to start. I don't have a problem with others that smoke, I just hate the idea of addiction.

I'd like to be able to chose whether I want to stop and when, thank you. It's way too difficult to quit. I've seen my mom try.

I dunno, there's too many negatives, and the positives really aren't that great. I mean, it's relaxing. Well, so is a hot bath, certain scents, chocolate, masturbation...I mean, there's other fixes. And it's cool...which I was never interested in anyways.

But it's also horrible for the health, smelly, addictive, and expensive. If I was going to pay that much money to slowly ruin my health, I'd much rather do it with chocolate ;)
 
Either chocolate...or for me books.

I've tried to argue with him that for every dollar he spends on smokes I should get an equal amount to spend on books....

Unfortuantely we just can't afford that.....
 
Either chocolate...or for me books.

I've tried to argue with him that for every dollar he spends on smokes I should get an equal amount to spend on books....

Unfortuantely we just can't afford that.....



Hahaha I have had this argument with my mother xD How she can afford boying smokes all the time when which I ask for money - she has 'none'.
Yet for cigarettes there are always money somehow :p
 
I personally can't stand the smell. I can smell it off of people clothes who stands like 20 feet from me.( ok that's a bit of an exaggeration) I just get sick smelling from it. So, I don't smoke.
 
I started smoking cigars in winter of 2006. I was kinda stressed. I dont smoke cigars too often. I normally smoke cigarellos which are little cigars. Right now I am smoking natural clove cigarettes. They are not as good as darjum black clove cigarettes. I dont really smoke too often. I only smoke when I ma really depressed or sometimes just socially.
 
I look at it like this. We all assume we are going to live for ever I guess. The fact is most people die before they get old. I know two guys father and son who died last week in a car accident. Shit happens. Why deprive yourself of something that you enjoy. You are going to die of something. If you have family go out side and wear your smoking jacket outside and leave it in the garage. That is what I do. My woman smokes so I don't get any grief from her. I don't like the fact she smokes a pack a day although I am not gonna get on her case about it either. I also like cigars mostly I smoke cloves and pipe tobacco..I know I am gonna die of something and all those trips into the woods alone can't be healthy! LOL
 
You have a point efromm.

But lets go a bit deeper into it (if you won't mind a bit of debate that is ;) )

My husband is a smoker. Aren't I being affected by the second hand when we are together, and whatever SH residue clings to him after he smokes (I don't allow smoking in the house).
Yes you are. You could leave or kick him out. Either way he has the right to ruin his own body.

What about the cost to the family? We only have one income, is it fair to the rest of us that he spends money on cigarettes that could be used for an extra cirrucular activity for the kids? Or could go back into the food budget?
Good point. Is he obliged to go out of his way to spend money on the kids? In my opinion: not necessarily. I dont know your families diet so I can't comment on the food budget.

What about the long term effects? I've had two grandfathers die from smoking related cancers. My grandmother who was a smoker for 90% of her life is currently in congestive heart failure and on oxygen for emphysmea (spelling?). Is it fair for his choices to potentially put me in a situation where I may have to watch my spouse die of the effects of his habit? Will it be fair for his choice to leave me with thousands in medical bills?
Such is the fate of humanity. One of you will probably have to watch the other die (quickly or slowly) unless you both go together. The survivor will end up with the bill. It is absolutely a sad situation for all involved.

If the cost of smoking, financial physical and emotional, were to be paid solely by the smoker then I wouldn't have a debate leg to stand on. But I share the costs of his habit and his choice. Shouldn't I be granted a voice in this habit?
You do have a voice and so does he. You can vote with your feet if it comes down to it. But I hope you just put up with him, everyone has something wrong with them - or even many things like me! I hope you dont mind me commenting =)

The only really good point I have is that if he was a smoker when you met him then you knew what you were getting into.
 
Good point. Is he obliged to go out of his way to spend money on the kids? In my opinion: not necessarily. I dont know your families diet so I can't comment on the food budget.
So, in your opinion he is not responsible for the cost of the kids even though he is half of the reason that we have them? Are you one of those people who don't believe in child support either? I gave up MY military career to stay home with the kids. Granted I made the choice to do so, but that was for the good of the family. Not for my own good. I've been the one who has had to forego college because my spouse needs his degree first and we can't afford both of us being in school.

The food budget is about 450 a month. I stretch it by making a lot of things from scratch, pizza, donuts, bagels, cookies, muffins etc. There is a lot of pasta. Primary meats are Beef, chicken, pork, tuna. Frozen veggies, rice, beans, grains (barley, quinoa, polenta etc). Cereal, oatmeal, farina. Cheese by the brick. Milk, eggs, tomatos, whole wheat and multi-grain breads (although I do make a lot of bread here at home as well) I avoid foods containing HSFC (I have for years), I don't allow soda in the house. There isn't much in the way of junk food for snacks, candy as reward for potty training, potato chips for lunches, . I used to have my own herbs but don't have a garden bed established here in my new location yet... I am a cook. And a damn good one!! I make do with the budget and still put healthy wholesome food on the table for the kids. I look for the good deals in the stores (like when ribeye steaks were 3.49 lb at Smith's) and buy in bulk. Buying veggies and fruits when they are in season saves a lot of money. I can and freeze etc.....I do everything I can to stretch that 450 so it doesn't seem like we are poor.

Such is the fate of humanity. One of you will probably have to watch the other die (quickly or slowly) unless you both go together. The survivor will end up with the bill. It is absolutely a sad situation for all involved.
It is the fate of humanity. One of us dying before the other, the survivor getting stuck with the bill. However, there is a difference when the cause is outside of personal risk management like..... getting hit by a car, a plane crash, drive by, Pancreatic Cancer or lymphoma or a stroke or a heart attack and when the cause is something you've inflicted upon yourself.

You do have a voice and so does he. You can vote with your feet if it comes down to it. But I hope you just put up with him, everyone has something wrong with them - or even many things like me! I hope you dont mind me commenting =)

I don't mind you commenting in the least! I love a good discussion.

The only really good point I have is that if he was a smoker when you met him then you knew what you were getting into.

He was a smoker when I met him. Was a smoker until Feb 06 when he quit cold turkey. He remained quit until he went back to tech school, the following year in May, to train for his new job; he couldn't resist the peer pressure, all his friends were smokers, (same old excuses) and started smoking again.

He knows I lost family to smoking related cancer, he knows whats happening to my grandma right now. And I've told him what I will do if he gets diagnosed with cancer. So the ball is in his court right now.
 
So, in your opinion he is not responsible for the cost of the kids even though he is half of the reason that we have them? Are you one of those people who don't believe in child support either? I gave up MY military career to stay home with the kids. Granted I made the choice to do so, but that was for the good of the family. Not for my own good. I've been the one who has had to forego college because my spouse needs his degree first and we can't afford both of us being in school.

No, no. He is responsible to help raise/pay for the kids, but if he can do that and pay for all the other bills and afford cigarrettes then he is entitled to do it.

I feel bad for people who cant use thier GI Bill, its a nice $1300 in your pocket every month. I love it.

The food budget is about 450 a month. I stretch it by making a lot of things from scratch, pizza, donuts, bagels, cookies, muffins etc. There is a lot of pasta. Primary meats are Beef, chicken, pork, tuna. Frozen veggies, rice, beans, grains (barley, quinoa, polenta etc). Cereal, oatmeal, farina. Cheese by the brick. Milk, eggs, tomatos, whole wheat and multi-grain breads (although I do make a lot of bread here at home as well) I avoid foods containing HSFC (I have for years), I don't allow soda in the house. There isn't much in the way of junk food for snacks, candy as reward for potty training, potato chips for lunches, . I used to have my own herbs but don't have a garden bed established here in my new location yet... I am a cook. And a damn good one!! I make do with the budget and still put healthy wholesome food on the table for the kids. I look for the good deals in the stores (like when ribeye steaks were 3.49 lb at Smith's) and buy in bulk. Buying veggies and fruits when they are in season saves a lot of money. I can and freeze etc.....I do everything I can to stretch that 450 so it doesn't seem like we are poor.

IDK it looks like you have your budget together and I hope you do well in your grocery shopping pursuits. I dont know what I could add to this really. But good job.

It is the fate of humanity. One of us dying before the other, the survivor getting stuck with the bill. However, there is a difference when the cause is outside of personal risk management like..... getting hit by a car, a plane crash, drive by, Pancreatic Cancer or lymphoma or a stroke or a heart attack and when the cause is something you've inflicted upon yourself.

It is different, but to me the difference that matters is in the intent. He isnt trying to kill himself, just relax or whatever.

I don't mind you commenting in the least! I love a good discussion.
Hooray! I am glad this forum isnt as emo as others I have been to.

He was a smoker when I met him. Was a smoker until Feb 06 when he quit cold turkey. He remained quit until he went back to tech school, the following year in May, to train for his new job; he couldn't resist the peer pressure, all his friends were smokers, (same old excuses) and started smoking again.

He knows I lost family to smoking related cancer, he knows whats happening to my grandma right now. And I've told him what I will do if he gets diagnosed with cancer. So the ball is in his court right now.

Well there ya go. For me, my vice is eating so I dont know if I could lose 50lbs for my loved ones even though that probably sounds crappy to some people. It is the same kind of thing to me. I hope all turns out well for you anyway.
 
never smoked or tried to. With 2 drug addicts in my immediate family (sister and dad) I learned from them and decided it wasnt my thing. plus i think addicton runs in my family... be it food, alcohol or drugs, we cant put down the damn stuff