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Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Asa, Aug 31, 2018.

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  1. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Welcome,

    Let's create a thread that focuses on what it is like to be an adult, mature, or 'older' INFJ. We can discuss MBTI, Jung, brain and personality development, how our introversion changes with years, perspectives that come with life experience, careers, and our personal experiences of being 40+. Other types are welcome to join us.

    Let's keep this thread on topic. There are plenty of places all over the forum where youth-oriented topics dominate, and it would be nice for adult members to have a thread for discussions about how being our type (whatever that type may be) changes over the years.


    You're going to have to show ID. Nobody born after 1980 allowed. Hahaha! Just kidding. Please join us, but keep it on topic.
     
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  2. Stu

    Stu Pre-Pottery B Neolithocrat
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    I have become way more introverted.
     
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    Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    From myersbriggs.org
    Screen Shot 2018-08-31 at 4.18.18 PM.png
     
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  4. OP
    Asa

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    From: https://www.personalitypage.com/html/development.html

    How we Develop our Personality Types



    An age-old question which most people have pondered at some point in their lives is "why are we the way we are"? Unfortunately, I can't clue you in on the answer to that question in a really authoritative way, but I can tell you about work that has been done to determine how people's Personality Types are developed.

    The more recent studies done around Temperament suggest that we are each born with our temperaments intact. Efforts are being made to prove this. For more information about temperaments, click here.

    W. Harold Grant did a lot of work with Jung's theories, and concluded that Jung believed that Personality Type has a developmental process which can be observed through an individual's life. The early phases of our lives help determine the dominance ordering of the four functions (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking and Feeling), and the development of our dominant and auxiliary functions. The later phases help us develop our tertiary and inferior functions.

    Let's take a look at Grant's phases of development, using the INFJ Personality Type as an example:



    From age 0 - 6 years
    At this early age, we use all four of the functions in an indiscriminate fashion. We "try on" the different functions for size, determining which ones work best for us. The little INFJ has not yet emerged as any particular personality type, although his parents may notice trends in behavior which appear to have the characteristics of one or more types.


    From 6 - 12 years
    During this phase, our dominant function begins to develop and assert itself. Our young INFJ begins to appear dreamy and introspective - he begins to prefer to use his iNtuition to take in information, and he chooses to do this alone (Introverted). The dominant function of "Introverted iNtuition" begins to show itself as the prevailing aspect of his personality.


    From 12 - 20 years
    The auxiliary function asserts itself as a powerful support to the dominant function. Since all recent studies point towards the importance of a well-developed team of dominant AND auxiliary functions, this is an important time of "self-identification". Research suggests that people without a strong auxiliary function to complement their dominant function have real problems.
    In our INFJ example, we see the auxiliary Feeling function come to the front during this phase as a support to the dominant iNtuitive function. Since the INFJ's dominant function is an Information Gathering function, the auxilary function must be a Decision Making one. Without a Decision Making process, we would flounder about and never get anything done! As the auxilary Feeling process comes forth, the INFJ begins to develop the ability to make decisions based on his personal value system. This auxiliary decision making process will be Extraverted, since the dominant function is Introverted. Since the decision making function is Extraverted, our subject now emerges as a "Judger", rather than a "Perceiver". Our INFJ Personality Type is now pretty firmly set in place, and we know the dominance ordering of the four functions.



    From 20 - 35 years
    We begin to use our tertiary function more frequently and with better success. Our INFJ begins to use his Introverted Thinking function. He continues to make judgments with his Extreverted Feeling auxiliary function, but he also begins to make judgments based on logic and reason, which he works through in his own mind, rather than discussing it with others.


    From 35 - 50 years
    We pay attention to our fourth, inferior function. We feel a need to develop it and use it more effectively. Our INFJ begins to use his Extraverted Sensing function. He becomes more aware of his surroundings and begins to take in information from others in a more literal, practical sense. He continues to rely on his dominant Introverted iNtuitive function to take in information, but he is more able to use his Extraverted Sensing function than he has been before in his life. Some researchers have attested that the appearance of our inferior functions at this phase of life may be responsible for what we commonly call the "mid-life crisis".

    From 50 onwards
    From this age until our deaths, we have accessibility to all four functions. However, we use them in a more disciplined, differentiated manner than when we were very young. Our basic Personality Type continues to assert itself, but we are able to call upon all four functions when needed.
     
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  5. OP
    Asa

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    Me, too.
     
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  6. Pin

    Pin Commander-in Chief / Ren's Counterpart

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    I think that cognitive functions are an interesting topic, it would be fascinating to see their relevance to older "INFJs".
     
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    Asa

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    I agree. I've read that it is more difficult to type mature people because we develop our tertiary and inferior functions as we age. All the functions become more balanced. Plus, we adapt to our surroundings. Learned behaviors can over-ride natural behavioral tendencies. (I realize I'm talking more about the end result of cognitive functions, but MBTI is tied to dominant cognitive functions.)
     
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    #7 Asa, Aug 31, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
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  8. OP
    Asa

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    What is everybody's point of view on learning and knowledge?
    What are your personal experiences acknowledging your limits based on function?

    I'm the type who always wants to research and learn. I become obsessed with certain topic and activities and that obsession is lifelong. I went back to school to round out my training with more practical and technical skills during my thirties, and took a class in a specific technical field that would help my work during my 40s. Now I have two hobbies that I am learning from the ground up. Both demand attention to detail, skill, and multi-tasking and both are high-intensity and/or take physical strength and stamina. I spent last night focused on one, and today focused on the other. My brain is fried.
    I'm not sure I would have been as self-aware about this when I was younger, but I am now very aware that I am big-picture oriented. A tired brain makes it even more difficult to etch all the details being blasted at me into memory. Ultimately, I am noting the disappointing shortcomings of being INXX. It isn't like my brain cannot do detail - my work is detailed, and Ni/Se notices detail (that often fits into a big picture,and/or isn't practical). My brain just has certain shortcomings when there are dozens of details I must commit to memory and practice at the same exact time while in an unpredictable, fast-paced, and time sensitive environment. I dislike having these shortcomings, but my first rule of action is to find a way to master what I love in a way that works for me, so I can nail those details down and excel. It is weird to be so green and new at two different subjects when I'm nearly 50, but I dig it, and plan to master these interests.

    I should specify that this is the first time in my life, aside from sports, that I haven't picked things up easily. I'm told I am good at both hobbies, especially for being a beginner, but I notice a huge gap because I'm with experts and highly skilled, detail-oriented people.

    PS: Please feel-free to change the topic and ask your own questions related to the theme of the thread! <3
     
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    #8 Asa, Aug 31, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  9. Wyote

    Wyote Moody Magician
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  10. OP
    Asa

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    @Wyote - I'm kinda jealous of the advanced AI / Exos in the video games I play. (This actually fits in this thread, even though it sounds juvenile, because of aging and blah, blah.)

    "But those bitches are immortal, intelligent athletes who get to save the world. "
     
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  11. Wyote

    Wyote Moody Magician
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    Hahaha yea it is definitely relevant. I think those kinds of things can be used in not just super-human capacity but just making life more livable for many.
    Aging is not for the weak, that is for damn sure.
     
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  12. sprinkles

    sprinkles Well-known member

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    I used to want to learn everything but now I kind of don't care. I feel like it's just making my life shorter.
     
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    Asa

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    "Meh," haha. I undersand that. Do you have a desire to master a few things?
     
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  14. sprinkles

    sprinkles Well-known member

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    Yes, but I don't want to be on my death bed before it happens.
     
  15. Pin

    Pin Commander-in Chief / Ren's Counterpart

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  16. OP
    Asa

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    Voice like velvet. <3
     
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  17. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    This is indeed true for me. Especially within the past 5 years, give or take. The past 18 months or so, since turning 50, 51 creeping 52 now, I have noticed subtle changes in my introverted Intuition while experiencing major changes---fluctuations even---in my introverted Thinking.

    Finding a balance between Se and Si has been exponential.

    I believe because of better understanding my self and my needs has brought a balance in my over-active Fe. I think because of personal health concerns I've begun self-care more so I'm able to care for and help others. That's an area I find much satisfaction in, helping others, even if it is just in listening with a supportive ear.

    Also, I feel that because I'm more confident in my development, (maturity), I'm out Extroverting more often. Though I do need ample time in solitude to replentish my thoughts and energy, the mental taxation is still there...I get tired out more easily through mental activity. My brain is always flowing through the abyss of ideas. Often a 30-minute minumim time out every few hours is enough of a recharge to keep me going.

    After finding the post about Human Design and getting a chart, (Body Graph based on Design and Personality), it looks like a wiring schematic for how I process energy, its channels, and vibrational sequencing, a whole new way of seeing my Self emerged.

    All of the different "personality tests and theory" resonates similarly and provides the same outcome. All the resulting information has subtle nuances, yet points a hardline arrow stroke straight at INFJ, and that pleases me. I'm comfortable in that label...best of all, I'm comfortable in my own skin...even if it's getting soft and wrinkly :p
    [​IMG]
     
  18. OP
    Asa

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    A balance does emerge. My friends who are in their 50s and simultaneously peaceful and strong. I see you as such a person - very gentle and peaceful, but quietly strong.
    I mean, don't get me wrong. Fifties women are tough as nails, they just don't have to show it off. I do see a lot of patience, kindness, and love from that group of friends, though, and I see the same from you.
    I'm not much younger than you are, but I feel like there is a big difference between being in one's late 40s, which is a period of rising out of the second teenhood of the early 40s, and being in one's 50s.

    Aside from feeling more balanced with type, I am keenly aware of the limits of my type, and what kind of behaviors are "shadowy" as well.

    Haha. I'm more introverted. This may be because I am older, or it may be because of a few different personal growth factors.
    It is a peaceful introversion. I like people. Haha. I just socialize for shorter amounts of time.


    I love this. You're such a beautiful person. <3

    The kitty is sweet and funny, too.
     
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  19. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Thank you Asa ;) I think we view each other similarly.
    Jajaja, if you thought being a teen in early 40's wait til 50! Especially if you have any gray/white hair...some kids think me a "Cool Granny". I sort of feel like that kitty in the big fluffy hat, I act like thst alot. lol
    Again, perhaps similar. After I've been out at a fundraiser, meeting, picinic, etc. for the day, I hibernate away from contact for 2 or 3, lol. When I get a weeks worth of people, people, people, I turn the phone off and hermit :D
    I love people, but in light doses, meaning when they're respectful of my need to have some alone time so I can keep shining and smiling, I gravitate towards these folks...bossy, invasive people not so much.

    For example, the test of patience currently is getting Dad, who's memory is getting worse, to remember I have a quick startle response. He isn't purposely sneaking up and shouting, but he scares the crap out of me when I'm deep in thought and all of a sudden there is his big booming voice sounding off in the room...feels like he's yanking me back from the archives of my mind 80 mph, lol. I find him very invasive. And, forget just chillin' in the same room, he chatters the entire time...I pray he falls asleep, but his snoring is as terrible as his chatter. :p But, he's my Dad and I'm going to miss his quirks when his time comes...he's 77, now, that's old! LOL
     
  20. OP
    Asa

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    Each person is different, sadly, and some are old decades before others, but I don’t think 77 is old. I have friends in their 70s and they seem young. My oldest set of friends are 90. I consider 90 'old', but they gave me new perspective on what being old is.

    I'm sorry your dad is having some issues. Living with aging parents is tough for so many reasons. Living with loud people as an introvert, especially with your quick startle response, is tough, too.
    Is the fact that he doesn't remember your condition memory loss, or one of those things where people fail to learn something about you because they don't see you that way?

    I can't say this any other way, but bluntly, but unless someone knows my age, there is no way they'll call me grandma. People usually think I'm between 25 and 32. I can tell the difference, and think I look my age, but others do not. In photos, I look older, because the way light hits and reflects "on film" isn't as kind anymore. I don't mind my age, but I've finally reached the age where I don't tell my age if I sense that it would make things awkward or I'd be rejected. For example, I don't tell my gaming team, even though my team's age range is from 20s - 60s. I'm not ashamed of my age, or embarrassed by it, I just don't want to be treated differently.

    That kitty does seem like you. :)

    Hahaha! Relatable.
     
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